Couch 210: The Abundant Couch

I don't know, I feel in my case I *did* want to be a "good girl" (though maybe that's different that "good little girl"). My T has mentioned that and it actually resonated with me. I was a people pleaser (and still am to some extent). I found that being the "good girl," getting good grades, not getting in trouble, being nice to everyone got my parents' approval, as well as the approval of my teachers--other authority figures. And their acceptance as well. Some of that carried into adulthood, too. And I very much didn't and still don't want to be the center of attention. So...maybe she meant it in a different way?

Saw EMDR T, she is intent on discussing something I don't want to but other than that it was nice to see her. I have missed her blunt directness.

So that dinner out with my parents ended up as a class on "here's what living with a kid on the spectrum can be like." As she got upset a couple times. Normally I'd try to sort of cover for D or explain things away. Tonight I was more open about it. My mom actually seemed sad instead of laughing when D was struggling, as she often does. So...perhaps in some way, this is progress for me? Because I was just sorta being like, "Yep, this is how it can be..."

And Terry Jones.

Approval’s a kind of (positive) attention, though, and attention from a specific audience—I don’t mean (negative) attention like being the center of a big crowd or having someone yell at you.

Ah, good point.

Have i evah questioned your flying squirrel suit?

thanks.
I'm glad the phone call helped, and you had friend check in on you.

Everyone looks dashing in a squirrel suit

And an owl onesie.

But not both at once.

Though Info could probably swing it.

Hugs. I don't do well with "open" slots, which is why I only did 2 sessions at the LGBTQ Counselling Place and the Sexual Act Place each.

How do you relax enough for massages? I find them painful, tried last year and it hurtttt because I couldn't relax!

If you're on facebook, I'm in a few encouraging, humour based Duolingo groups

I see her this week! As for the visa application, I should be getting my notarised copies over Lunar New Year, then I'll have to figure out how to legalise my original documents. Then rewrite answers to application questions, print out photos and stuff, then book an appointment to submit!

Did you feel like you had to be a good girl?

I think it's perfectly normal for kids and babies to need and want attention.

Post 37 mins- I would assume that meant that I had a session today. He didn't call me and didn't answer the messages I sent.

You're almost there! Different country I know, but I had a look on the UK website. There should also be a guide for your country- could the lawyer help with that too?

Fingers crossed you have a good session.

That's a lot to me! I'm weeks and weeks behind my Coursera course (Technical Support Fundamentals by Google). How do you do it?

With the massages I had to slowly get used to them. I didn't feel comfortable during the first one, but i kept going and trying different ones every couple of weeks. It helps that they also reward loyalty and I get 15% off each one now. I got used to it enough to actually fall asleep a few times. If you don't want to fully take off your clothing there's the option of sticking with the Thai ones. They also only have women working there- often I've had the same woman three times a row. I have a lot of self harm scars on my upper arms which I was ashamed about. but they have never commented on them.

I tried going somewhere cheaper but i really couldn't relax at all and it felt like a waste.

With open slots I feel more in control. Less trapped.

I am on facebook, but I only use it for a school study group i'm in.

How long have you been learning? (7 day streak now! )

I'd like to take the CEFR A1 exam and go through the levels. Creepy guy has been learning German for two years and is taking his B2 early next month and he's given me a rough idea for a plan- but he said himself he didn't take it seriously at the start (also had normal school).

The lawyer couldn't help but he waived some of the notarisation fees! Else it would literally be 1 therapy session per document!

I am slowly slipping back i have spent the last 2 days lying on my bed i jave been thinking about exT a lot. I think its because he used to start back on the 2 nd week of January but he has taken the whole of the school holidays off this year. I have drawn a schedule for my week because i am losing motivation in the cleaning department. I have broken everything down into small steps so i can cross them off. This usually doesnt motivate me i just look at all the thing s i havent done on the list and get depresssed

I also seem to be alienating members of my fb art groups. I am really struggling to understand what they do so i ask questions unfortunately people take them as being accusatory and i am not accusing people of things. I give up i always have found it hard to say what i want even my daughter asked me to speak english the other day!