Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIII

chihirochild · Mar 29, 2020 at 06:02 PM

Dear T,

I feel alone and sad and scared and I need you to man up and treat these feelings with the respect and care they deserve.

-c

mugwort2 · Mar 29, 2020 at 09:51 PM

I'm not thrilled with phone sessions. OTOH I'm okay with it. I understand its for the best because of expletive deleted coronavirus.

Lonelyinmyheart · Mar 30, 2020 at 07:40 AM

Oh T I worry about you so much. It's only because I care about you so deeply. I'd do anything to help you if I could.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 30, 2020 at 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Oh T I worry about you so much. It's only because I care about you so deeply. I'd do anything to help you if I could.

I want to post those exact same words to my t right now. I'm so worried about her right now.

LonesomeTonight · Mar 30, 2020 at 02:03 PM

Dear T,
Some of the things you said today really meant a lot to me. I wish the video hadn't been all weird at times, and, OK, I really kinda hate that shirt you were wearing (and have had the same thought when you wore it in person), but overall, I think I got a lot of stuff out. And the validation and support helped.

Love you,
LT

junkDNA · Mar 30, 2020 at 03:05 PM

Wow

Thank you T for being here

During all this

Your calls calm me down and help me become more grounded

So I can reset the anxiety and get back on track

You've really done a lot for me and even now, you're still here with me.

Just a phone call away

I'm trying so hard to not take advantage of this

Of you being here With me.

I dont want to abuse the privilege

Or make you regret it

I'm trying so hard to be good

*Beth* · Mar 31, 2020 at 02:12 AM

Stop making promises that you cannot keep.

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2020 at 07:55 AM

You are never far from my thoughts and I am so worried about you. I want to check in with you to see how you are feeling but a) I don't want to bother you if you're not feeling better and b) I'm afraid to hear that you've gotten worse. I know I left therapy ....it's one thing not seeing you/not talking to you but knowing you're still there however

Possible trigger:

I'm just not ready to face a world without you in it at all. Please don't die from this.

chihirochild · Mar 31, 2020 at 03:11 PM

T-

I am absolutely furious with you. Telling you my schedule was NOT a move to control you. And asking you to call my insurance company was completely reasonable since I had tried multiple times already and they couldn't figure it out. **** you. Can't you see that in this exceptional circumstance, what I need you to do is to be soothing and kind, not challenging? I ****ing told you that and you didn't listen. Now I'm stuck at home, literally quarantined, and have nothing to do but stew over this. I can't even tell you how mad I am right now. Why can't you just give me what I'm asking you for?

c

Lemoncake · 03:46 PM

I'm okay. still living in my privileged bubble where I haven't left my place for 12 days.

Last week when I messaged early in the morning and was sobbing like a loon- i didn't expect you to be actually be there there when I needed you, but you were and that is what makes want to run.

I'm just tired and this weight is heavy to carry. ENT exam will be online in 9 days on zoom.

You don't need me whinging about my stuff.

I also added up that the minimum you lose by seeing at lower rate instead of a normal paying client is £748 a year .Seeing as I don't always come to my sessions either and some weeks i've seen you twice so in that case it would be £34 less a week. It seems like you're better off without me.

Lonelyinmyheart · Mar 31, 2020 at 03:50 PM

Worrying about you. Crikey the boundaries are wobbling like crazy right now aren't they. Maybe they will break...and then what?

ArtieTheSequal · Mar 31, 2020 at 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Worrying about you. Crikey the boundaries are wobbling like crazy right now aren't they. Maybe they will break...and then what?

I totally feel that. I want to call L so bad and just tell her "anything you need while you are recovering, I don't care about boundaries right now, if you need food or supplies or an ear on the phone or if you want me to drum for you over the phone to help soothe you for god sakes woman please let me do something to help you!!!!"

But I won't. She wouldn't let me anyway.

LonesomeTonight · Mar 31, 2020 at 08:49 PM

Dear T,
A little nervous about "meeting" you at your home office tomorrow morning for the first time. Wonder if it will be this way going forward or if it was just you weren't planning on going to the office till later tomorrow? (Since you'd said you had whole morning free.) I'm a bit curious to see what your home space looks like, though maybe you'll have moved more personal things out of view of the camera? And will you be dressed more casually? Suppose I'll find out at 9.
Love,
LT

kaleidoscopeheart · Mar 31, 2020 at 10:11 PM

Dear T,

I am not coping well at all. I apologize for how far backward I have gone and how little I care about changing it at the moment.

puzzclar · Apr 01, 2020 at 12:47 PM

T
Yesterday was an interesting session. I know I should look at why I feel hated. But it's just like this assignment on gender and being born as a male, it's just weird! And hard and I don't want to look at it. But here I am looking at gender in a whole different way. I sure hope that these two areas are different....

I'm doing better now that I hope I found the root. I'm still not use to it, but I know that something from my past changed my chemical make up. And I know over time that can change and I can be off meds. It will require a lot of work, and a strong listening ear that can give feedback. Namely you.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 01, 2020 at 12:49 PM

Dear T,
It occurs to me that we've now "been in" each other's houses. Though I'm sure you've gotten a much better sense of my space than I of yours, because I seriously doubt your entire house is yellow walls with nothing hanging on them, at least based on your office because it has so much stuff in it. Unless your wife is some kind of minimalist who...really likes yellow.
Love,
LT

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 01, 2020 at 01:08 PM

I had a rough day a couple days ago and because I couldn't reach out to you, as I know you're sick, I reached out to my friends and they helped SO much. I have some totally kickass friends, better friends than I deserve, and I must remember this going forward. My equilibrium is back and I am thankful. H is also being my rock through all of this - when he's home which isn't much during the day as he's working a lot. I miss you a lot right now, way more than I did pre-pandemic. I hope you are starting to feel better by now. I hope, and I am also afraid to ask, in case you are not. I am so worried about you.

junkDNA · Apr 02, 2020 at 05:39 AM

Looking forward 2 ur phone call today

comrademoomoo · Apr 02, 2020 at 05:44 AM

Enjoying your "holiday", Toadface?

LonesomeTonight · Apr 02, 2020 at 09:12 AM

Dear T,
I know it wasn't an urgent text at all, just about scheduling for next week, and I meet with you tomorrow. But I hope you're OK, because you haven't replied to my reply from last night, and you haven't sent me the invoice for yesterday's half session. I imagine you're dealing with all kinds of stuff right now, but you usually reply to texts really quickly. Even if you just said "We'll finalize the schedule in session tomorrow" that would be fine. I think maybe I'm also nervous because another poster on here had her T get mad for giving schedule updates. I'd just feel more secure knowing I'm on there for next Wed. and Fri. (you did offer me a Friday time, so hope you've put that in?). At least I'm there for tomorrow and Monday. I'm not going to bother you about it, but I'd feel better about both things (you being OK and not being annoyed) if you'd at least send a quick reply sometime before our session.
Love you,
LT

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIII

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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Mar 29, 2020 at 06:02 PM #461 Dear T, I feel alone and sad and scared and I need you to man up and treat these feelings with the respect and care they deserve. -c

mugwort2 Poohbah Member Since Aug 2015 Location: Philadelphia PA. Posts: 1,291 8 28 hugs given	Mar 29, 2020 at 09:51 PM #462 I'm not thrilled with phone sessions. OTOH I'm okay with it. I understand its for the best because of expletive deleted coronavirus.

Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Mar 30, 2020 at 07:40 AM #463 Oh T I worry about you so much. It's only because I care about you so deeply. I'd do anything to help you if I could.

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,744 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Mar 30, 2020 at 02:03 PM #465 Dear T, Some of the things you said today really meant a lot to me. I wish the video hadn't been all weird at times, and, OK, I really kinda hate that shirt you were wearing (and have had the same thought when you wore it in person), but overall, I think I got a lot of stuff out. And the validation and support helped. Love you, LT

Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Mar 31, 2020 at 02:12 AM #467 Stop making promises that you cannot keep. __________________

Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Mar 31, 2020 at 03:50 PM #471 Worrying about you. Crikey the boundaries are wobbling like crazy right now aren't they. Maybe they will break...and then what?

kaleidoscopeheart Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: Parts Unknown Posts: 333 7 77 hugs given	Mar 31, 2020 at 10:11 PM #474 Dear T, I am not coping well at all. I apologize for how far backward I have gone and how little I care about changing it at the moment.

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Apr 02, 2020 at 05:39 AM #478 Looking forward 2 ur phone call today __________________

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Apr 02, 2020 at 05:44 AM #479 Enjoying your "holiday", Toadface?