Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIII

Elio · Apr 07, 2020 at 10:51 AM

what would you say if I told you that it's not like I have a choice. That's how it feels. Then I think that I'm the one choosing to do it. How can I make the claim that I have no choice when no one is making me do it. Then I feel all kinds of bad feelings. I know it's not as simple as just making a different choice. Still it's my choice, isn't it? Right now there's a price to pay regardless of which way I choose.

tree7car · Apr 07, 2020 at 08:41 PM

I'm trying so hard to hold up to my end of the deal we made. I went to the store, but didn't buy anything. But the intensity and the desire is so strong. You say that this hurt and deep pain makes sense. You say that you would expect nothing else. But how am I supposed to deal with and act normal and continue my job like nothing is happening? I know you see me more than you see any other client. I know that you and Pdoc talk regularly about me. I know that you both are providing me with everything you can and truly believe that I can handle this. But what if I can't? When is enough enough?

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 07, 2020 at 09:30 PM

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers I hope you are finally starting to feel better. I am so worried about you...

LostOnTheTrail · Apr 08, 2020 at 04:41 PM

I wish to **** we weren't stuck doing our work over Zoom right now.
This is the time of year I really need you, here.

puzzclar · Apr 09, 2020 at 12:01 AM

That looked like you today.... And it got me to do a double take. Then again, you would have been in a session or home or what ever. Still weird.

Lemoncake · Apr 09, 2020 at 10:31 AM

I'm aware i'm in a impulsive phase at the moment.I won't message again asking for a session only to cancel it two hours later before you've had the time to reply.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 09, 2020 at 11:14 AM

i so hate not knowing how you're doing

Possible trigger:

but then at the same time i'm totally terrified of finding out the worst has happened

so maybe it's better not knowing

circlesincircles · Apr 09, 2020 at 11:22 AM

What is going on?

velcro003 · Apr 09, 2020 at 10:28 PM

Well, I'm going to have to stop therapy for awhile. My unemployment check is half of what I thought it was going to be. I'm screwed.

Lemoncake · Apr 10, 2020 at 01:44 AM

With yesterdays email and our last session ending, I can feel like you do care.

LostOnTheTrail · Apr 10, 2020 at 07:01 AM

April in pandemic time sucks even more. Somehow, though, I still felt held.

Thank you for being you, and thank you for rescheduling.

Lonelyinmyheart · Apr 10, 2020 at 02:21 PM

Obviously a remote session isn't the same and I knew it wouldn't be, but it was wonderful to see you again.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 10, 2020 at 04:16 PM

My thoughts and prayers are still with you

Possible trigger:

and i'm so very scared that you've passed away and I will never know for sure I will be left wondering until/unless I find an obituary which I totally don't want to look for

Out There · Apr 10, 2020 at 06:19 PM

Ooh , my goodness..... what funny things feelings are.

puzzclar · Apr 10, 2020 at 10:21 PM

I don't want to tell you I messed up. Do I have to?

Mountaindewed · Apr 11, 2020 at 07:55 AM

Are you going to freak out when you see me in person whenever that will be? Also are you going to ask how I’m feeling after I get my 3rd injection shot which will be about an hour before our session?

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 11, 2020 at 10:18 AM

not knowing how you are doing is making me crazy

Mountaindewed · Apr 11, 2020 at 07:15 PM

Yeah I’ve lost some weight but I‘m making good food choices at least. Also I think you can lose weight pretty easily with this stuff.

puzzclar · Apr 12, 2020 at 02:33 AM

I didn't tell you. Now I can't sleep. I've had a lot running through my head. Will this be a sleepless night?

LostOnTheTrail · Apr 12, 2020 at 06:11 AM

Hi R,

Feeling tied up in knots. Trying to breathe through it.
I deeply appreciate your choice of words when we were doing the exercise to create space.

'Breathe in and out slowly, as you're breathing, visualise creating space in your mind and in your heart'

Almost unusual for you, but somehow feels even more authentic.

Thank you, and Happy Easter. (Yes, it feels like blasphemy to me, but I really mean it.)

Love,

Lost

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIII

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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Apr 07, 2020 at 09:30 PM #523 I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers I hope you are finally starting to feel better. I am so worried about you...

puzzclar Elder Member Since Jan 2010 Location: Where? US Posts: 5,621 14 101 hugs given	Apr 09, 2020 at 12:01 AM #525 That looked like you today.... And it got me to do a double take. Then again, you would have been in a session or home or what ever. Still weird.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Apr 09, 2020 at 10:31 AM #526 I'm aware i'm in a impulsive phase at the moment.I won't message again asking for a session only to cancel it two hours later before you've had the time to reply. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Apr 09, 2020 at 11:14 AM #527 i so hate not knowing how you're doing Possible trigger: but then at the same time i'm totally terrified of finding out the worst has happened so maybe it's better not knowing

circlesincircles Member Member Since May 2018 Location: United States Posts: 303 5	Apr 09, 2020 at 11:22 AM #528 What is going on?

velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Apr 09, 2020 at 10:28 PM #529 Well, I'm going to have to stop therapy for awhile. My unemployment check is half of what I thought it was going to be. I'm screwed.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,700 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Apr 10, 2020 at 01:44 AM #530 With yesterdays email and our last session ending, I can feel like you do care. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Apr 10, 2020 at 02:21 PM #532 Obviously a remote session isn't the same and I knew it wouldn't be, but it was wonderful to see you again.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Apr 10, 2020 at 04:16 PM #533 My thoughts and prayers are still with you Possible trigger: and i'm so very scared that you've passed away and I will never know for sure I will be left wondering until/unless I find an obituary which I totally don't want to look for

Out There Legendary Member Since Oct 2015 Location: England Posts: 11,355 (SuperPoster!) 8 14.6k hugs given	Apr 10, 2020 at 06:19 PM #534 Ooh , my goodness..... what funny things feelings are. __________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing "

puzzclar Elder Member Since Jan 2010 Location: Where? US Posts: 5,621 14 101 hugs given	Apr 10, 2020 at 10:21 PM #535 I don't want to tell you I messed up. Do I have to?

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,225 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,779 hugs given	Apr 11, 2020 at 07:55 AM #536 Are you going to freak out when you see me in person whenever that will be? Also are you going to ask how I’m feeling after I get my 3rd injection shot which will be about an hour before our session? __________________ Ridin' with Biden

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,239 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,775 hugs given	Apr 11, 2020 at 10:18 AM #537 not knowing how you are doing is making me crazy

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,225 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,779 hugs given	Apr 11, 2020 at 07:15 PM #538 Yeah I’ve lost some weight but I‘m making good food choices at least. Also I think you can lose weight pretty easily with this stuff. __________________ Ridin' with Biden

puzzclar Elder Member Since Jan 2010 Location: Where? US Posts: 5,621 14 101 hugs given	Apr 12, 2020 at 02:33 AM #539 I didn't tell you. Now I can't sleep. I've had a lot running through my head. Will this be a sleepless night?