Problems with one of the office staff

Why would you not want him to know? That doesn't make sense. Why would he not take you seriously?

Again, he needs data. Start charting. Let him see the patterns in your moods, sleep, etc. Without the data over time, he really has nothing to go on. He doesn't even particularly need all the gory details. He's looking for patterns in mood, sleep, grandiosity, anxiety, irritability. That's what the charting is for. Telling him about a bad 3 days won't particularly get you very far. He needs a clear history pattern to know if what he is seeing is perhaps a personality disorder like borderline personality disorder or a mood disorder like recurrent depression or bipolar disorder.

Hope, I thought you were already diagnosed with bpd by this same therapist? I don’t think you agreed with him—do you think you have bipolar instead?

That's right. I remember that now. Hope, I remember you really were upset about the idea of bpd and seemed then to be trying to grasp on to some other diagnosis -- any other diagnosis -- than bpd.

BPD and Bipolar can exist at the same time, but it sounds like your psychiatrist hasn't seen your symptoms as fully characteristic of bipolar disorder which may be why he's won't go with the depakote. They patterns you show here all seem to point with the bpd diagnosis, but if you are seeing other symptoms more indicative of bipolar disorder, you really will have to start tracking your symptoms. Bipolar episodes generally don't happen suddenly; they're kind of a slow burn into a sudden severity, and the episodes last sometimes weeks and months at a time; they are also not generally the result of events or personal reactions to people/feelings.There are exceptions to that, but that's the general idea. Part of the bipolar criteria for diagnosis has to do with the length of the episodes. Changes in mood with bpd are more sudden, shorter in duration, and more connected to reactions to events and emotions. That's why charting your moods is helpful in getting an accurate diagnosis.

Feeling manic for 3 days will not get you the diagnosis you are seeking. My t told me that under extreme stress people feel and act similar to those who experience hypomania/mania (they usually aren’t few days but more lengthy than that). I can certainly attest to that.

You might want to still tell your pdoc about your 3 day experience. It could be a symptom of many different things. He needs to know. Plus if you have these symptoms often or regularly it would help your pdoc with diagnosis

Is there a reason you want BD diagnosis? I know you aren’t in agreement re diagnosis of BPD but it doesn’t mean you necessarily have BD. I’d try to focus on symptoms and working on improving rather than diagnosis.

Not agreeing with BPD diagnosis won’t make it go away and believing you have BD won’t make it so. Focus on symptoms and follow doctors order

Your symptoms do appear to be more related to bpd: the all good or all bad type of thinking and I think constantly cancelling and rescheduling your appointments is considered to be impulsive.

I am just saying that I think it is important to work on the diagnosis that you have been given. At the same time, let him know about all the symptoms that you are experiencing, so that he will actually know what diagnosis that you are dealing with.

Diagnosis is very important especially for treatments like ECT and medication. I know and have heard of many bipolar patients and patients with resistent depression being helped with ECT. But, it won't help for other diagnoses.

I don’t want a Bipolar diagnosis.

My doctor doesn’t see what I struggle with all week between sessions. I’m having problems with PTSD again.

Several years ago, I was hospitalized and the doctor there diagnosed me with Bipolar but I never told my current pdoc.

All of my problems are not solely because of BPD. If I believed that were true, I would just rather be dead.

But then again, I’d rather be dead anyway because I’m tired of all of this.

Also, my OCD is starting to interfere in my life again and I thought that was behind me.

Any recommendations on the best way to chart?

Hope, I am not going to make any comments on what diagnosis you seem to have, may have, or want to have. What I would like to say though is that your diagnosis is what it is, whatever your doctor determines based on your particular symptoms. I also understand that you do not want to have BPD and you would rather be dead than ever admitting to having it. Believe me, I know how you feel. I was afraid I had BPD as well but my T determined I did not. What he did dx me with was worse and believe me when he said I had DID I would have rather been dead. It put me into a huge tailspin and took me months to accept. The thing is, you have what you have. Denying it does not make it go away nor does it help you work with your T on improving your symptoms. Once I accepted the DID dx I started to work on communicating with my parts, taking my meds consistently and working on DBT skills and mindfulness. All of these things have really helped me to feel better in life. I still have a long way to go and it is a struggle every day but it is better than being stuck where I was in denial.

I guess what I am saying is to work with your T and try not to fight against his dx and treatment plan. You have described him as a very competent T. Trust him. Tell him what he needs to know so he can help you.

Keep a journal and write things down. No need for anything too elaborate.

So you have been diagnosed with BD, PTSD and OCD but pdoc doesn’t know any of it? I am trying to understand the rationale behind hiding things from him. Not telling him your symptoms or diagnosis doesn’t seem to serve any purpose? Why are you hiding? He can’t help you if he is kept in the dark.

If you aren’t safe please take yourself to ER.

I am sorry you are upset over the diagnosis but it’s just a diagnosis. It’s not like him saying you are having it will make you have it but if he won’t diagnose you with it, you won’t have it. It doesn’t work that way. Could you not worry about diagnosis but instead work on symptoms and traits of whatever he thinks you have? It doesn’t matter how you csll it

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz I don’t want a Bipolar diagnosis. My doctor doesn’t see what I struggle with all week between sessions. I’m having problems with PTSD again. Several years ago, I was hospitalized and the doctor there diagnosed me with Bipolar but I never told my current pdoc. All of my problems are not solely because of BPD. If I believed that were true, I would just rather be dead. But then again, I’d rather be dead anyway because I’m tired of all of this.

In order to get proper treatment you have to be honest about your previous experiences.

There are some phone apps out there for tracking. Two are eMoods and Daylio. If you'd rather do so on paper, you could search for sample worksheets online. Or just write down a few notes on how you're feeling each day in a daily/weekly planner, something like that. Or the calendar on your computer.

In order to get help, you really need to deal with what you have. Even if you track your symptoms, he knows you well enough to form a diagnosis. This is possible because you have had many, many interactions with him through sessions and outside contact with him and with his staff. However, it would still be very helpful to him to keep tracking your moods.

I sent him an email telling him about it. I see him on Tuesday so I will see what he says then.

If he doesn't respond right away, try not to get too upset.


I would just start tracking your moods; it couldn't hurt. It may even be helpful to him.

I’ve just been SO depressed since December after my car accident and I don’t have enough money for the parts right now.

I am sorry about what you are going through. I think you should talk to him about your accident and not being able to pay for the parts. I am glad that you did not get insured. But, talk to him about the accident. You know maybe you can also get EMDR therapy for trauma. I think you mentioned that you have a lot of trauma. So, you would be seeing him and the EMDR therapist, if you can get to one.


I found EMDR to be really helpful with my issues.


But, please talk to him about your accident. How are you transporting yourself now? Do you go by bus/train or do you get rides. Some insurance companies have rides available for patients. You might want to try that or disabled transportation.

Do you have car insurance? Why are you paying for parts? I was in a bad accident myself before Christmas and insurance covers parts and repairs. Do you not have collision insurance? I never paid for any parts when I had accidents.

Is this a different car? I thought you had no drivable car for at least few years now.

I finally got the car repaired earlier this year. But my tire accidentally hit the curb and it messed my entire tire, wheel, etc up and I have to replace it. I didn’t file a claim.

I have been through a lot of trauma but I don’t need to see anyone else about it.

I feel so exhausted today.