Problems with one of the office staff

hopealwayz · Jan 22, 2020 at 11:19 AM

Yesterday, one of the ladies in the office was absolutely RUDE to me. It was clearly obvious. When I said something about how I was treated to
both the office manager and doctor, they didn’t even care. Her attitude towards me is pretty clear but I have no choice but to take it because I don’t want to be terminated. What do I do?

Shotokan · Jan 22, 2020 at 11:41 AM

Do you mean that your doctor and the office manager didn't seem to care about how rude the staff member was to you? I didn't really understand your post.

Although, I don't know what took place, you can say this to the worker: "I don't appreciate you speaking to me that way. I'd like for it to not happen again." By saying this, you are being assertive and setting boundaries with the staff member.

What did the staff member say that was rude?

hopealwayz · Jan 22, 2020 at 12:06 PM

The doctor and office manager didn’t say anything to her.

I was assertive and asked her not to speak to me that way.

She seemed more calmed down when I spoke to her today but it was obvious that it was forced. I tried to be nice to her.

I don’t really remember how it started.

ArtleyWilkins · Jan 22, 2020 at 12:29 PM

Sounds like you handled it well. Some people are just rude -- office people are no exception. Just deal with her only on business matters and try not to let the turkeys get you down. Some people are just that way and the trick is to not take it personally.

Out There · Jan 22, 2020 at 01:01 PM

Good for you for being assertive , she calmed down. People will only walk all over you if you let them , so don't let them !

nottrustin · Jan 22, 2020 at 01:41 PM

While it shouldn't happen, remember they are human and occasionally have a bad day. Today I went to work not feeling well both emotionally and physically. People commented on me not being my normal bubbly self. I went in to get what had to be done done. There is no backup coverage for me at the moment. I wanted to make sure our patients were in the system so the providers were taken care of and able provide patient care. I dont think I was rude but defdefinitely not what my patients are accustomed to.

winter4me · Jan 22, 2020 at 01:52 PM

Sounds like they did talk to her, in private. We all screw up sometimes. If you do interact with her again, be friendly, she will likely be relieved...
If it is a recurrent problem, be assertive. I think you did well also. kudos

hopealwayz · Jan 22, 2020 at 02:45 PM

It also doesn’t help that she is married to my doctor. So I’m scared that he will always take her side. For example, I called today to be put on the waiting list which the other office lady has always done but the office person I was talking to go mad about the waiting list, put me on hold and then got the doctor who fussed at me. I’m now scared to even talk to any of them.

SlumberKitty · Jan 22, 2020 at 02:48 PM

Hi Hope, while office staff should always be professional, sometimes people just have bad days. Like myself, I guess my depression/self-destructiveness is showing through because the GM stopped in to talk to me this morning because he thought maybe I was stressed or something. I think I've been acting the way I always act, but I guess not. I guess my emotional disturbance is more seen at the moment. Try to not let someone have that kind of power over you where you are scared to talk to them, any of them, because of the way that one interaction went. Hang in there, lots of hugs Kit

ArtleyWilkins · Jan 22, 2020 at 04:49 PM

You might consider that you may be personalizing interactions a bit more than most people would. You have frequently written about the office staff hating you, being mad at you, etc. The reality is that their feelings about you probably aren't anywhere near that strong. They deal with dozens and dozens of patients, phone calls, sales reps, etc. in a single day. They may be grouchy or have the personality of a toad, but my guess is that they don't invest a great deal of time thinking about any one person they deal with to the point of "hating" them, etc. I could be wrong, but you do have a tendency to frame your interpretations of other people in terms of "they hate me" or "they are angry at me."

Shotokan · Jan 22, 2020 at 05:39 PM

You mentioned that you were jealous and upset because he got married. Does this make it even harder for you to focus on your therapy because she is there?

hopealwayz · Jan 23, 2020 at 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

You might consider that you may be personalizing interactions a bit more than most people would. You have frequently written about the office staff hating you, being mad at you, etc. The reality is that their feelings about you probably aren't anywhere near that strong. They deal with dozens and dozens of patients, phone calls, sales reps, etc. in a single day. They may be grouchy or have the personality of a toad, but my guess is that they don't invest a great deal of time thinking about any one person they deal with to the point of "hating" them, etc. I could be wrong, but you do have a tendency to frame your interpretations of other people in terms of "they hate me" or "they are angry at me."

It wasn’t just me. My sister went with me to an appointment and she told me that she was rude to her.

hopealwayz · Jan 23, 2020 at 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shotokan

You mentioned that you were jealous and upset because he got married. Does this make it even harder for you to focus on your therapy because she is there?

No, once I’m in the back, I don’t think about her at all. She’s not always there. She’s only there sometimes.

ArtleyWilkins · Jan 23, 2020 at 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

It wasn’t just me. My sister went with me to an appointment and she told me that she was rude to her.

I realize that. But when dealing with rude people you basically have two choices: you can take it personally which it probably isn't, or you can say to yourself, "Self, that person is a rude person. I bet that's the way they treat lots of people. Rude!" and move on.

You handled it well. You told her employer and advocated for better treatment. Go one step further -- don't take her rudeness as a personal judgment; she's just a jerk.

Shotokan · Jan 23, 2020 at 01:43 PM

If she was also rude to your sister, than it is not personal. Maybe she is burnt out or just rude in general.

hopealwayz · Jan 23, 2020 at 04:24 PM

I don’t think it matters now because I think they are throwing me out. It started when I asked if I could get on the cancellation list for this week due to sui thoughts. Hours later, no response so I wrote back and said I wasn’t coming back. And then I felt bad so I wrote and begged T not to quit on me.

It’s probably over.

None of this happened until the incident when I mentioned the rudeness.

Maybe now she can be talking to him about getting rid of me.

hopealwayz · Jan 23, 2020 at 04:31 PM

I couldn’t take the email stuff anymore so I called and talked to someone different and asked her if I was thrown out and she said no.

LonesomeTonight · Jan 23, 2020 at 04:31 PM

Hugs. They may not have seen the email about asking to be put on cancellation list. It might be best to call for something like that.

hopealwayz · Jan 23, 2020 at 04:31 PM

I don’t know why my anxiety is so terrible.

hopealwayz · Jan 23, 2020 at 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs. They may not have seen the email about asking to be put on cancellation list. It might be best to call for something like that.

Thanks for that suggestion. I will do that from now on. All the waiting just makes my anxiety worse and then it triggers a panic attack. And then the next thing that
happens is that I feel humiliated.

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Problems with one of the office staff

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hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jan 22, 2020 at 11:19 AM #1 Yesterday, one of the ladies in the office was absolutely RUDE to me. It was clearly obvious. When I said something about how I was treated to both the office manager and doctor, they didn’t even care. Her attitude towards me is pretty clear but I have no choice but to take it because I don’t want to be terminated. What do I do?
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hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jan 22, 2020 at 12:06 PM #3 The doctor and office manager didn’t say anything to her. I was assertive and asked her not to speak to me that way. She seemed more calmed down when I spoke to her today but it was obvious that it was forced. I tried to be nice to her. I don’t really remember how it started.
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Jan 22, 2020 at 12:29 PM #4 Sounds like you handled it well. Some people are just rude -- office people are no exception. Just deal with her only on business matters and try not to let the turkeys get you down. Some people are just that way and the trick is to not take it personally.
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Out There Legendary Member Since Oct 2015 Location: England Posts: 11,355 (SuperPoster!) 8 14.6k hugs given	Jan 22, 2020 at 01:01 PM #5 Good for you for being assertive , she calmed down. People will only walk all over you if you let them , so don't let them ! __________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing "
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winter4me Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2012 Location: new england Posts: 7,733 11 1,818 hugs given	Jan 22, 2020 at 01:52 PM #7 Sounds like they did talk to her, in private. We all screw up sometimes. If you do interact with her again, be friendly, she will likely be relieved... If it is a recurrent problem, be assertive. I think you did well also. kudos __________________ "...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris
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Shotokan Member Member Since Jan 2020 Location: In The Dojo Posts: 196 4 1 hugs given	Jan 22, 2020 at 05:39 PM #11 You mentioned that you were jealous and upset because he got married. Does this make it even harder for you to focus on your therapy because she is there?
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Shotokan Member Member Since Jan 2020 Location: In The Dojo Posts: 196 4 1 hugs given	Jan 23, 2020 at 01:43 PM #15 If she was also rude to your sister, than it is not personal. Maybe she is burnt out or just rude in general.
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hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jan 23, 2020 at 04:31 PM #17 I couldn’t take the email stuff anymore so I called and talked to someone different and asked her if I was thrown out and she said no.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,730 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jan 23, 2020 at 04:31 PM #18 Hugs. They may not have seen the email about asking to be put on cancellation list. It might be best to call for something like that.
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hopealwayz Magnate Member Since Jan 2016 Location: In my mind Posts: 2,281 8 272 hugs given	Jan 23, 2020 at 04:31 PM #19 I don’t know why my anxiety is so terrible.
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