Negative experiences with a therapist and/or psychiatrist

I know most of us have had many good or even excellent experiences with therapists and/or psychiatrists, but I'm curious to know what some of others' most negative ones were. I've been lucky that I adore my psychiatrist, and have seen him for 14 years. The two before and hospital pdocs were passably good or OK. It was with therapists that I had the most negative experiences, and I went through many therapists, early in my treatment. Here are some of mine:

* Let go by a therapist because of manic behavior. There was some justification, but when she let me go, the psychiatrist let me go, too, because they were part of a group. I had been in the hospital and IOP and wanted to quit them, against medical advice. When I finished, I had to find both a new tdoc and pdoc.

* Psychologist was overly interested in my sex life. He took calls and read text messages frequently during my sessions, and ate Reese's Pieces from his gum ball machine all of the time. My husband discovered that his license had once been suspended because of sex with a former client. I quit him for that.

* I had a first session with a new therapist...at her house. She had several cats and dogs and let them in the therapy room. They were all jumping on me and sniffing my leg. One cat even sat on my lap. Perhaps to some that sounds nice, but though I like cats, that was not acceptable, in my book. Her house also stank. There was no second session with her.

* One of my manic episodes, while seeing a young female therapist, made her "suspend" me. My psychiatrist was perplexed by that. She called him and told him that I "scared her". When my episode eased, she quit me. I never scared any of my other therapists and not my psychiatrist. I think this young therapist had never experienced a patient with full blown mania. She was a bad choice. I know that I didn't threaten her in any way. She was likely just scared by the mania.

* Psychologist made me feel extremely uncomfortable because he adulated me all of the time. There were sessions when I counted between 6 and 10 compliments. I even wrote them all down some of the times and presented the list to my husband and psychiatrist. They advised me to discuss the adulation with that therapist, but he would not stop, despite two requests. I quit him. He wasn't that helpful anyway.

* Though nice, I went to one therapist that barely said anything to me. She just sat looking at me like a deer in the headlights. That made me so nervous that I would yabber on and on. I eventually quit her.

I don't want to go into the more serious negative experiences but I will say that on my first session with one therapist, she got up to get herself a drink of water from the dispenser when I was in the middle of explaining my difficulties. Needless to say I didn't go back!

I had some not so negative experiences as much as completely unengaging experiences. I don't suspect any of them were unprofessional or even unskilled, just not for me. Generally either very blank slate (like talking to a fence post) or far too revealing of their own issues far too early in the process (like within the first few sessions). Neither were my style, and I quickly moved on. Wasn't going to waste my time and money on them.

I'll just say they had appalling boundaries, and negatively acted things out rather than discussing them with me.

I have been very lucky. I have seen 4 Ts. Three were great. two of the endings were not ideal.

T1 was good but she had a contract with my college to see students and the paid her. After a few months the school terminated the contract. She did not accept my insurance.

T 2 was amazing saw her for 10 years. Sadly she passed away very unexpectedly.

While still seeing T2 I consulted with T3 about EMDR. I saw her once and it was horrible. She told all about her personal life, why she attended therapy in college, why if she had to do it all over again she would not be a T. It was horrible I kept trying to say something about myself and she would turn it back to talking about herself. I kept wondering if the initial appointment was going to be longer than an hour. At like 55 minutes she asked me to tell her in a sentence why I was there. I did then shame explained how EMDR is usually 1 to 2 sessions because it is so good. Then she asked if I wanted to come back the following week or the week after that. I told her the following week. Then she walked me out.
I told T2 how horrible it was. She strongly encouraged me to cancel the upcoming appointment. I gladly did

Current T (4), I have no issues with. I sometimes get frustrated but it us because she is so different than T2, but I know it is not because she is bad just different. We have accomplished a lot

I had one, totally useless. I had major PTSD and he had no real advice.. somehow he would always talk about his depression , or how he had to take in his sons dog Copper... ummmm yeah no thanks, 4 sessions was 3 too many

memories of my early childhood sexual abuse began flooding back into my consciousness not long after starting to see my first T and probably the worst thing she could have done was the first time i was brave enough to share some of those intrusive memories of the CSA that were quite confusing and coming back to me in bits and fragments. i tried to draw the imiages out to help me make sense of them. i remember sitting there on her sofa, trembling and falling to pieces after sharing my images and talking about the shaming memories. afterwards, she gets up and hands me a piece of drawing paper and crayons and wants me to 're-draw' and transform my traumatic images in to 'safe' images and then she walks out and leaves the room, leaving me there on my own while i continue to cry and tremble. i'll never know exactly why she got up and left me on my own for about ten minutes, but i always assumed it was because what i shared was a bit too overwhelming for her and she had to collect her composure. but what ever the reason was, even if she had to make an emergency trip to the toilet, it could not have been at a worst moment, when i needed a sense of safety, support, and compassion. this woman definitely was in over her head when it came to my CPTSD, and especially my DID, and the only thing i really learned from her is what i knew exactly what i didn't want from my next T when i ended with her about a year into the relationship.

Interesting post. I´ll try to sum up my negative experiences from therapists and therapy:

* Several lacked enough training, they had only basic education within therapy which made them unskilled in handling transference issues.

* Some lacked empathy and couldn´t validate anything I said or expressed.

* One couldn´t handle her own countertransference and let me see her for many more sessions than she was allowed to which ended in trauma for me as she then had to end therapy very abruptly.

* Several couldn´t meet me where I need to be met both because ot their own incompetence but also due to organizational restrictions.

* At least two of them acted in a very cold and impersonal way which made me end it with them before the real therapy had even started.

* My latest one who isn´t actually a therapist but more of a case manager or counsellor just rambles about and answers in general terms every time I mention some of my issues.

Within public mental health care in Sweden it´s much more likely you end up with unskilled, unprofessional, cold and mean health care providers and therapists than having positive experiences and getting the help you need.

Last T told me that she felt like I was judging her, and I made her feel awkward and not herself. It was incredibly frustrating, as there didn't seem to be anything concrete behind it. I could have understood if she said something like... "Guilloche, whenever I suggest something, you roll your eyes... it seems like you're dismissing things without giving them a chance."

But, "you make me feel judged and I'm scared to say stuff to you"? From a therapist?

What do you do with that? *sigh*

T before that was generally a decent guy, but didn't really understand my stuff (and said as much). I was incredibly depressed at one point (wasn't eating, showering, or changing clothes)... I was scared/embarassed to bring it up, tried to mention the eating, and he said... "well, it probably wouldn't kill you to skip a couple meals" (I'm overweight).

Yeah. Real therapeutic. Thanks dude.

My first T ever kicked me out, after sending me for a consult with a specialist in dissociative disorders. I specifically asked, before agreeing to the consult, if it turned out that I did have some dissociative stuff going on, would he kick me out, and he said "No, the purpose of this is so we can better plan your treatment."

Came back with a diagnosis and "oh, it would be unethical for me to continue seeing you. So-and-so gave you some referrals, right?" Ugh. He didn't even want to do a closing session, I had to ask for one to talk about the results from all the testing, and his energy was so clearly.... pulled in. Like, "you're not my problem anymore". It sucked.

The best part is, another therapist after that (who talked to consult-T) told me that that first T didn't believe in dissocative disorders, until he worked with me (and got the results from the testing I did). *great*.

Ha... and there was the one that I saw twice who told me dissociation is an "addiction", and then kind of yelled... "Are you dissociating now? Well, STOP IT!!!" (this wasn't a silly attempt at humor! It was serious!)

I'm sure there's more that I'm forgetting, but yeah, overall, it's been mostly a terrible experience.

i definitely relate to this. this was T2...he would comment on how he felt like he was 'walking on eggshells' and how he was fearful of disappointing me. this was clearly about his counter transference and his own s*&t that he needed to sort, but when you hear a T say something like this, it completely squashes any sense of safety within the dynamics of that 'healing' relationship by knowing that the T lacks confidence and is responding towards you in fear. for me, it not only took the focus away from my issues i was seeking therapy for, but also felt quite blaming and shaming as well.

Thanks Koru_Kiwi - You said it perfectly! And, I'm so sorry that your T walked out at such a vulnerable moment.

Nottrustin

re: T3 ("She told all about her personal life, why she attended therapy in college, why if she had to do it all over again she would not be a T. ")

Oh, wow. I just... don't understand how these people manage to stay licensed and have clients. That (all of it!) sounds awful, but holy cow, listening to a T talk about why they wouldn't choose to be a T if they could do it all over? Maybe it's just me (?) but I wouldn't be able to trust them after that. Not just because it shows terrible judgement (in choosing to share that with a client), but because I think Ts need to be really invested in their profession, it's obviously already a difficult job to do well, and someone that feels like they'd rather not be there is not going to be providing very good services.

*hugs* to everyone.