Contact with T after surgery

goatee · Jan 24, 2020 at 02:05 PM

My T asked me what I would want in terms of contact with her if she were to have surgery. What do you think would be reasonable to ask her for and what have your experiences been? This would be a pretty significant orthopedic surgery. She’d probably be out for 3-6 weeks depending. Thanks.

velcro003 · Jan 24, 2020 at 02:23 PM

What sort of outside contact do you have now? What were you thinking that you wanted?

SlumberKitty · Jan 24, 2020 at 02:23 PM

Hi @goatee do you usually see T once a week? If so, maybe T could text or email you once a week, or you could text or email T once a week and they could read/respond. Might not be able to do that the first week out of surgery though if it is pretty major surgery. HUGS Kit

LonesomeTonight · Jan 24, 2020 at 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi @goatee do you usually see T once a week? If so, maybe T could text or email you once a week, or you could text or email T once a week and they could read/respond. Might not be able to do that the first week out of surgery though if it is pretty major surgery. HUGS Kit

This is what I was thinking, or possibly a phone call or two? I'd offer to pay for that though (and probably for emails or texts as well). Agreed that I wouldn't expect any contact the first week, except perhaps if she could let you know when she's home from the hospital.

goatee · Jan 24, 2020 at 02:48 PM

I was thinking maybe early week 3 that I could send her an email or text just asking how she’s feeling. Something like that. Then maybe the same one text once per week after that until she’s back. I’d be happy to pay for it and will offer that. Normally now I have regular email contact with her and see her twice per week- well, one week once, the following week twice, one week once, the following week twice, etc. Just wanted to see if this seemed like too much to ask and if it seemed unreasonable. She does have a backup T who I could call in an emergency so that’s why I wonder if maybe it’s wrong to ask for this.

SlumberKitty · Jan 24, 2020 at 02:53 PM

I think what you are considering proposing certainly sounds reasonable. I'd bring it up to your T and have the discussion. HUGS Kit

goatee · Jan 24, 2020 at 02:58 PM

I’m worried cause I would want a short response.

SlumberKitty · Jan 24, 2020 at 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goatee

I’m worried cause I would want a short response.

I think that is perfectly reasonable. Just discuss what you consider a short response. Two or three sentences? That way you and T are on the same page. HUGS kit

LonesomeTonight · Jan 24, 2020 at 03:08 PM

I agree, just talk about what you're thinking and see if it sounds reasonable. Obviously, some may depend on how she's doing, like if she's in a lot of pain, may not be able to write much. But it's worth asking for sure. If she wasn't willing to do any contact, then she wouldn't have asked you.

ArtleyWilkins · Jan 24, 2020 at 03:29 PM

Your idea sounds reasonable -- with the understanding that if she, even at that point, isn't feeling up to responding right away, you will be understanding of a slow response. Ortho surgery can be an up and down recovery. Might be feeling okay one day but the next can barely move and the pain can increase.

stopdog · Jan 24, 2020 at 07:55 PM

The woman was out once for 6-8 weeks because she broke an arm and had to have surgery. There was no contact except once when she mistakenly emailed me something meant for someone else - she blamed the computer rather than the drugs or just taking responsibility

coolibrarian · Jan 28, 2020 at 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goatee

My T asked me what I would want in terms of contact with her if she were to have surgery. What do you think would be reasonable to ask her for and what have your experiences been? This would be a pretty significant orthopedic surgery. She’d probably be out for 3-6 weeks depending. Thanks.

My T was out for MONTHS after cancer surgery and a virulent infection which caused complications. At first she let me text with her, but this turned out to be un-doable, since she was so ill. It was a big mess and I didn't really get the chance to talk to her about it, since she was still out. I was depressed for weeks.

When she came back to the office, we talked about it a lot. Every once in a while, I bring it up again.

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Contact with T after surgery

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goatee Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Florida Posts: 322 7 567 hugs given	Jan 24, 2020 at 02:05 PM #1 My T asked me what I would want in terms of contact with her if she were to have surgery. What do you think would be reasonable to ask her for and what have your experiences been? This would be a pretty significant orthopedic surgery. She’d probably be out for 3-6 weeks depending. Thanks.
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Jan 24, 2020 at 02:23 PM #2 What sort of outside contact do you have now? What were you thinking that you wanted?
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Jan 24, 2020 at 02:23 PM #3 Hi @goatee do you usually see T once a week? If so, maybe T could text or email you once a week, or you could text or email T once a week and they could read/respond. Might not be able to do that the first week out of surgery though if it is pretty major surgery. HUGS Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Jan 24, 2020 at 02:53 PM #6 I think what you are considering proposing certainly sounds reasonable. I'd bring it up to your T and have the discussion. HUGS Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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goatee Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Florida Posts: 322 7 567 hugs given	Jan 24, 2020 at 02:58 PM #7 I’m worried cause I would want a short response.
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LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,735 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jan 24, 2020 at 03:08 PM #9 I agree, just talk about what you're thinking and see if it sounds reasonable. Obviously, some may depend on how she's doing, like if she's in a lot of pain, may not be able to write much. But it's worth asking for sure. If she wasn't willing to do any contact, then she wouldn't have asked you.
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Jan 24, 2020 at 03:29 PM #10 Your idea sounds reasonable -- with the understanding that if she, even at that point, isn't feeling up to responding right away, you will be understanding of a slow response. Ortho surgery can be an up and down recovery. Might be feeling okay one day but the next can barely move and the pain can increase.
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