Couch 211: The Stoffle couch

Lemoncake · Jan 25, 2020 at 09:22 AM

Welcome to the couch, old and new! A place to hang out - sometimes you get immediate feedback, sometimes you don't.

Shouting, "Cool Whip" tends to bring others out from between the cushions if you're feeling lonely.

This is a chatty thread. All are welcome. We're kind of psychologically oriented, sometimes. We try to be supportive. At times we discuss what that means.

It’s a place to plop down on the couch when you come home from work or wherever, or wake up in the middle of the night, or check in at lunch, rant a bit or not, and be among friends.

We advise you not to drink or drug and text your therapist ("T") - we speak from experience.

Sometimes the thread moves fast and you might get overlooked; sometimes it moves slowly and all you hear are crickets. Sometimes you get hugged or thanked pages later. So if it's a bigger question, you might want to start a new thread.

Grab a cushion, a spot on the floor, or an armchair in the corner and make yourselves comfy.

In honour of Stoffle the Honey badger

YouTube

LonesomeTonight · Jan 25, 2020 at 09:36 AM

Thanks for the couch!
Couch 211: The Stoffle couch

LostOnTheTrail · Jan 25, 2020 at 09:48 AM

Thanks, Lemon.

I adore Stoffle...such a clever little guy.

chihirochild · Jan 25, 2020 at 10:40 AM

I think I over-scheduled my day today... coffee with a med school friend, lunch with a residency friend, second date with this guy who beat me at scrabble on the first date (so a strong contender!), first date with some rando from a dating app. Just writing this down makes my lil introverted heart cringe.

Lonelyinmyheart · Jan 25, 2020 at 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

I think I over-scheduled my day today... coffee with a med school friend, lunch with a residency friend, second date with this guy who beat me at scrabble on the first date (so a strong contender!), first date with some rando from a dating app. Just writing this down makes my lil introverted heart cringe.

I'm also an introvert and trying out online dating for the first time in a while. I struggle so much with social situations.. Ugh. I hope your date goes well!

LonesomeTonight · Jan 25, 2020 at 11:45 AM

Also an introvert, and that made me tired just reading about it! Hope the dates go well!

Lemoncake · Jan 25, 2020 at 12:03 PM

Have fun Chiro!

I normally just stick with one thing at a time and even that can be too much sometimes.

Where are you guys going? I'm getting ice skating vibes (might be coming from me not sure).

Lemoncake · Jan 25, 2020 at 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Thanks, Lemon.

I adore Stoffle...such a clever little guy.

The comment section is the best bit!

LostOnTheTrail · Jan 25, 2020 at 12:10 PM

Oh, definitely.

I went to work today, and had a wonderful workshop.
I come home, and I'm having a hard time.
Why?

atisketatasket · Jan 25, 2020 at 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

I think I over-scheduled my day today... coffee with a med school friend, lunch with a residency friend, second date with this guy who beat me at scrabble on the first date (so a strong contender!), first date with some rando from a dating app. Just writing this down makes my lil introverted heart cringe.

Between a rando off a dating app and a guy who can beat me at Scrabble—I would take the second every time.

So, you know, if you get tired of him tell him you’ve got a friend...

Lemoncake · Jan 25, 2020 at 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Oh, definitely.

I went to work today, and had a wonderful workshop.
I come home, and I'm having a hard time.
Why?

You've been dealing with a lot recently. In work situations you just have to get on with it. Home just being you and it's less structured/open.

chihirochild · Jan 25, 2020 at 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Between a rando off a dating app and a guy who can beat me at Scrabble—I would take the second every time.

So, you know, if you get tired of him tell him you’ve got a friend...

A friend who can take him SIM card shopping

WarmFuzzySocks · Jan 25, 2020 at 12:50 PM

I am staying in a hotel this weekend, visiting older d.

The coffee is not terrible. It’s enough not-terrible that I have not yet google mapped coffee shops near me.

I can’t quite wrap my head around this. It’s even a budget hotel! One of my most deeply held biases has been challenged. Not quite sure how to handle the dissonance.

NP_Complete · Jan 25, 2020 at 01:17 PM

I woke up to an email from my therapist checking in after our Thursday session where I ended up way out of my comfort zone. That was really nice to receive. I responded that I'm not sure how I'm supposed to come to session on Monday because I'm still feeling a lot of shame and I don't want to be seen by him. I don't know how to face him again. He has successfully infiltrated my carefully constructed armor and he's feeling that's a good thing, but I'm left feeling completely exposed and vulnerable.

LostOnTheTrail · Jan 25, 2020 at 01:23 PM

That's really brave, NP. I'm glad you were able to be so open with him. I think he will appreciate it.

Lemoncake · Jan 25, 2020 at 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

A friend who can take him SIM card shopping

I almost forgot about this!!!

Lemoncake · Jan 25, 2020 at 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I woke up to an email from my therapist checking in after our Thursday session where I ended up way out of my comfort zone. That was really nice to receive. I responded that I'm not sure how I'm supposed to come to session on Monday because I'm still feeling a lot of shame and I don't want to be seen by him. I don't know how to face him again. He has successfully infiltrated my carefully constructed armor and he's feeling that's a good thing, but I'm left feeling completely exposed and vulnerable.

I can really feel this- shame is still a big thing for me. Can you maybe try to go at your own pace. I usually ask him to look away/ cover his eyes. I've also acted like a child and completely covered my face with a blanket on one occasion.

What matter's is that you're there.

John Bradshaw had this book called "healing the shame that binds you" . I liked it because sometimes it's not always from us.

NP_Complete · Jan 25, 2020 at 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I can really feel this- shame is still a big thing for me. Can you maybe try to go at your own pace. I usually ask him to look away/ cover his eyes. I've also acted like a child and completely covered my face with a blanket on one occasion.

What matter's is that you're there.

John Bradshaw had this book called "healing the shame that binds you" . I liked it because sometimes it's not always from us.

I'm usually wearing a hoodie of some sort and when the hood is up I can hide the top half of my face. That's how I ended up being able to leave session on Thursday. One time I wore sunglasses the whole session and he didn't say a word about it. Maybe if I go in looking like the Unabomber, I'll be safe.

In my email response this morning, I ended up telling him a couple of other things regarding this topic and I'm seriously regretting doing that right now. I'm already feeling vulnerable; why did I have to open up even more?? I've got a real push-pull thing going on at the moment. I even said I was feeling clingy towards him. I hope he's okay I shared that with him.

ElectricManatee · Jan 25, 2020 at 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

I am staying in a hotel this weekend, visiting older d.

The coffee is not terrible. It’s enough not-terrible that I have not yet google mapped coffee shops near me.

I can’t quite wrap my head around this. It’s even a budget hotel! One of my most deeply held biases has been challenged. Not quite sure how to handle the dissonance.

I've always found it odd that the "nice" hotels make you pay for wifi and breakfast but the cheaper ones don't. Seems backward. And I love me a make-your-own waffle station.

NP_Complete · Jan 25, 2020 at 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I've always found it odd that the "nice" hotels make you pay for wifi and breakfast but the cheaper ones don't. Seems backward. And I love me a make-your-own waffle station.

The waffle station is always my favorite too. Peanut butter and syrup is my favorite. When I had to stay in a hotel for a month while they were fixing my house, I was thinking "awesome, a whole month of waffles!". I got tired of the waffles real quick, though.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Couch 211: The Stoffle couch

My Support Forums

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,731 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jan 25, 2020 at 09:36 AM #2 Thanks for the couch!

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Jan 25, 2020 at 10:40 AM #4 I think I over-scheduled my day today... coffee with a med school friend, lunch with a residency friend, second date with this guy who beat me at scrabble on the first date (so a strong contender!), first date with some rando from a dating app. Just writing this down makes my lil introverted heart cringe.

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,731 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Jan 25, 2020 at 11:45 AM #6 Also an introvert, and that made me tired just reading about it! Hope the dates go well!

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Jan 25, 2020 at 12:03 PM #7 Have fun Chiro! I normally just stick with one thing at a time and even that can be too much sometimes. Where are you guys going? I'm getting ice skating vibes (might be coming from me not sure). __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."