[captgut]

I gave my T the link (he asked me to), but I suppose he has never read it, because he can't understand English. I don't know why he asked me for the link then

[sarahsweets]

If I was in therapy I wouldnt like it unless I was 100% anonymous. I look at this as my safe place.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Where does this bizarre concept that therapists are "too busy" to do anything? They are not too busy. They may or may not be interested, but they are most certainly not more busy than any other professional or any one in general. Therapists are not special, no matter how much they hold themselves out to be.

As for my saying T’s are too busy ... I mean it like this .... they work all day with clients , listening talking offering advice , teaching coping skills.

They go home , they have a busy life like everyone could have. Married , kids, soccer games, remolding the bathroom.

All I’m saying is I don’t think T’s are sitting around at night cruising PC or other peer support sites reading threads they deal enough with it during office hours.

My husband worked like a dog his whole life, long hours but when he got home he was home , let’s have dinner and watch a movie .. he detached from thinking about his job. Who really wants to think about there job 24/7

I think the vast majority of T’s seriously want to binge Netflix and eat pizza and hoping that the baby is truly sleeping and not ready to start crying again.

T’s have lives like everyone

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Most people don’t come home after long work day and possibly long commute and search online forums where they can read what people say about their jobs. Most people take care of their family and spend time with loved ones, do chores, pursue hobbies, relax and if they are on the Internet it’s very unlikely that they search for online forums about their jobs.

Thank You !

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think those people should have to endure therapy themselves (it is not a universal requirement in the u.s.)
I have no problem if anyone, even a therapist reads an open forum. I doubt those people have enough self reflection for it to be useful to them in any way.

Both of my Ts admitted to me they attended therapy themselves while the were in school. They stated that it gave them a lot of insite into the the therapist they wanted to be.

[Rustyfinger]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

So you feel OK about his reading through the site

Ok...I'm gonna try and delete all my posts

[Rustyfinger]

Originally Posted by Rustyfinger

Ok...I'm gonna try and delete all my posts

Damn it! It doesn't work

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Rustyfinger

Damn it! It doesn't work

How did you get that word by the Psych Central software?

I was a physical science major. If you know about the history of science, whenever people did not understand the phenomena they were studying, there was a huge amount of controversy about what the truth was -- and a lot of acrimony - argument that was often not polite -- I think a similar thing is generally true of psychology nowadays -- when there is so little agreement on what is true and what is not, you will find a lot of confusion, a lot of destructive advice, destructive practice in general. There are some good practitioners out there, but finding them amongst the general run is not easy.

Recognizing this does not help people who need help, very much!

I should know.

[WastingAsparagus]

I feel uncomfortable with this thought that therapists read through this site. Honestly, I hope they don't.

[Shotokan]

Originally Posted by guilloche

Shotokan - Thanks so much for posting your therapists thoughts about the forum. It was much kinder and more positive than I expected, and very nice to see.

I had shown some of my own posts to a previous therapist (I posted to work out issues that I was having with him, was encouraged to share the posts with him, and did so). It helped me a lot, but he ended up with the impression that this was an "anti-therapy" forum. I couldn't seem to get him to correct that, to the point where, when I moved on to another therapist, he told her that I liked posting mean things about my therapist (I'm paraphrasing, I don't remember exactly how he worded it.)

I really love that he "got" how many people end up hurt by therapists. I've had so many crappy experiences... it's been expensive, hurtful, and not helpful. I don't think my therapists were even terribly bad as therapists but they seemed completely incompetent in how to deal with my issues. It's really turned me off from therapy.

Anyway, thank you for sharing!

You are very welcome. I am so sorry about what you are going through with therapists. What your therapist said to the other therapist is APPALLING, NASTY, DESTRUCTIVE, VERY UNPROFESSIONAL. He sounds like he lacks common sense or is troubled himself or both. Wow just wow! That is so maddening. I can really see how you expected my experience to be similar to yours.


Again, I am so sorry about everything that you went through with them.

[Salmon77]

I would probably feel a little weird about it if my therapist read this site. Sometimes I change details in my posts just in case. But therapists in general, that doesn't bother me at all. If you post something on a public forum you have to accept the risk people are reading it.

[nottrustin]

I would not want my T reading my posts. I very often change some details BUT I am pretty sure the posts about losing T would probably totally give me away. Some of my posting were not necessarily nice about EMDR T because I was in so much pain I believe I lashed out at T through here. whereas, in appointments I was able to realize it was not her I was angry at. I am sure she would understand and we could talk through it BUT I really don't want to go there

[Shotokan]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Most people don’t come home after long work day and possibly long commute and search online forums where they can read what people say about their jobs. Most people take care of their family and spend time with loved ones, do chores, pursue hobbies, relax and if they are on the Internet it’s very unlikely that they search for online forums about their jobs.

Some professionals find online forums fun and addictive. For instance, there is a website called, "Studentdoctor.net" that many, many physicians and other professionals read a lot. Although the site is really for people aspiring to become physicians, psychologists and other healthcare professionals, many of them whom are already finished with their training regularly interact with the forums. They often find the site addictive because they enjoy the interactions that often take place. It is often their place to vent.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Even if they aren't on PC, many probably know of its existence and vaguely what it has to offer, but I'm guessing only a very few would spend much time here simply because they would rather disconnect from therapy for a few hours in the evening. I don't go home and spend time on the same sites that my students do (that would be really odd as on old, middle aged teacher LOL), but I am pretty familiar with where they hang out and what they are getting into online because knowing those kinds of things about my high schoolers is good to know (and a little scary to be quite honest). I also don't spend a great deal of time on professional teacher sites (although I've found a couple of fantastic FB pages), but I am very well aware of what is out there and available to me should I need to use those sites. I'd just much rather spend my evenings relaxing and I'm guessing most in the working world are pretty much the same. It isn't about therapists being "too busy" so much as simply just not wanting to be in "therapist brain" 24/7.

I do highly doubt therapists spend loads of time on PC or other sites like it, but I would guess many are very much in the know of what is out there. I can remember discussing a different site I went on when I was in therapy. My therapist knew of its existence and very much advised me against going there (and he was absolutely correct in that assessment in that case). It was not a healthy place to be.

In the OPs case, it sounds like the therapist took the time to do a bit of exploring of PC and felt good about it as a generally supportive forum. I give the OP credit for feeling comfortable sharing the site information with her therapist and to the therapist for taking the time to give it some thought before jumping to an assumption that PC might be a bad place to be. Much, I think, depends on each individual. I have seen PC be mostly a very helpful and supportive forum for most members, but I have also seen a few who found too much input from strangers online to be confusing, upsetting, and unsettling. How a therapist might respond to a client about their involvement on PC might be very dependent on how much impact that client's posting seems to be having on their own mental health.

[Shotokan]

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughtful comments and experiences here!! I can understand how it might be unsettling for some clients to have their therapists read here. Sometimes we post issues/ideas here because we're not ready to share them with our therapists. And to think that they could be reading our forums is almost hmmm creepy.

On the other hand, I want them to read and understand how their words, actions, and behaviors really affect us; I mean so many of us are traumatized and don't need anymore crap to deal with.

And I believe Artley W has stated that more need to hear about what these predators are doing to clients..

So obviously during the grad school admissions process, and during graduate school and finally internship, these sick students in training just slip through the cracks.

Thank you everyone!

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Shotokan

Some professionals find online forums fun and addictive. For instance, there is a website called, "Studentdoctor.net" that many, many physicians and other professionals read a lot. Although the site is really for people aspiring to become physicians, psychologists and other healthcare professionals, many of them whom are already finished with their training regularly interact with the forums. They often find the site addictive because they enjoy the interactions that often take place. It is often their place to vent.

Of course people might read on professional forums, I occasionally do that too but I don’t know anyone all consumed with such things. No matter how much we love our jobs, there is more to life.

Sometimes I feel people on here think of therapists as some kind of unique creatures who don’t have a life or family of hobbies or romance and spend their every minute thinking about clients and searching what clients say about them. I suspect most therapists aren’t preoccupied with looking up what their clients say about them online

Of course it’s perfectly fine if therapists do read on here as it appears clients encourage them to do so.

[Shotokan]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Of course people might read on professional forums, I occasionally do that too but I don’t know anyone all consumed with such things. No matter how much we love our jobs, there is more to life.

Sometimes I feel people on here think of therapists as some kind of unique creatures who don’t have a life or family of hobbies or romance and spend their every minute thinking about clients and searching what clients say about them. I suspect most therapists aren’t preoccupied with looking up what their clients say about them online

Of course it’s perfectly fine if therapists do read on here as it appears clients encourage them to do so.

I sure as h%=÷ don't think of them as unique creatures. I am a scientist and I bet I am busier than my psychiatrist. And my psychiatrist has a nice life outside of his practice. So I don't know were you got that idea from.

I still stand by what I said about the Studentdoctor website.

It doesn't do anyone good to make sweeping generalizations.

[here today]

Originally Posted by Shotokan

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughtful comments and experiences here!! I can understand how it might be unsettling for some clients to have their therapists read here. Sometimes we post issues/ideas here because we're not ready to share them with our therapists. And to think that they could be reading our forums is almost hmmm creepy.

On the other hand, I want them to read and understand how their words, actions, and behaviors really affect us; I mean so many of us are traumatized and don't need anymore crap to deal with.

And I believe Artley W has stated that more need to hear about what these predators are doing to clients..

So obviously during the grad school admissions process, and during graduate school and finally internship, these sick students in training just slip through the cracks.

Thank you everyone!

And thank you, Shotokan, for starting this thread and telling us that your T had read this forum. Even though it may just be a minority of therapists who are interested, it is still good to know that some are. And good to know, too, I guess, that he discusses what might be done about the situation with his colleagues.

The problem I have with that is that it is just NOT ENOUGH. So, he's trying, that's something. That's all anybody can do?

On the other hand, what am I doing? I'm not out picketing therapist conferences, or anything like that. I don't see right now that it would be effective, I don't have a clear message. Maybe there needs to be a grass-roots organization of fed-up consumers? That's different from the agenda of the existing mental health groups, who are mostly advocating for more treatment. I've tried talking to them and got nowhere.

It's entirely possible that there could be a mental health advocacy/reform organization made up of fed up people on both sides, consumers and professionals. That might work. But how to get there. . .

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by here today

I'm not out picketing therapist conferences, or anything like that.

The trouble with actions like that is that it probably alarms many therapist types, and people who are alarmed tend not to think clearly. It takes quite an emotionally stable person to not be unduly alarmed. I have not seen a lot of those people in my experience. But I think it is a requirement to understand how people might react.

It seems we have to try to accurately judge the extent of our therapists' emotional stability.

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by Shotokan

You are very welcome. I am so sorry about what you are going through with therapists. What your therapist said to the other therapist is APPALLING, NASTY, DESTRUCTIVE, VERY UNPROFESSIONAL. He sounds like he lacks common sense or is troubled himself or both. Wow just wow! That is so maddening. I can really see how you expected my experience to be similar to yours.


Again, I am so sorry about everything that you went through with them.

Thanks Shotokan, I appreciate it. The weird thing is - he wasn't completely terrible. There were some things about him that were really good - better than other therapists that I'd seen.

But, there was a lot that didn't work and made me wonder how he conceptualized therapy.

Thanks!

Edit to add: And to everyone who said they'd feel weird if their T read the site, I agree. I've always felt a little torn - like I'd want a T to read here to understand more about how many people have had such terrible experiences, maybe to give them a little bit of objectivity - it's almost like they're not very smart about how their words/actions can come across some times?

But, when I was in therapy, I was terrified that my T would decide to read here, and that it would ruin the space for me too, making it impossible to be open about how I felt about things. Especially since so many Ts (that I've seen) have taken negative comments very personally... my own T reading here would probably make the space much less safe in that regard, which would suck, since there aren't a lot of great alternatives for support.