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Unhappy Feb 11, 2020 at 01:44 AM
  #1
Just curious about how long some of you have been in therapy? It’s currently been two years and a bit for me. I’m dealing with deep rooted, childhood issues and self esteem problems. My t always reassures me that it’s up to me when I want to end, but I always get scared that I’m taking too long and he wants me to stop coming. I know it’s irrational on some level, but I always find reasons to think this is about to happen.
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 03:13 AM
  #2
9 years here He is going to retire soon. When he does I will be done , I have no desire to regurgitate my life to someone new.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 03:36 AM
  #3
Thank you! I keep coming across those buzzfeed articles which basically say “long term therapy is bad” or if you get too attached it’s w bad thing and you should quit. And then I get hyper vigilant and anything my t says about relationships ending I take as a sign that he’s preparing to terminate me and it’s driving me mad and sick with grief. Then I bring it up and he reassures me, but the reassurance doesn’t last.
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 03:53 AM
  #4
I have been in therapy with different therapists on and off since I was 16. This most recent bit with my current therapist has been by far the most intense and focused. I have been working on the same themes as you (childhood stuff and self-esteem) and right now I am almost four years in. I don't think there is a timetable to this kind of growth and change, but I could see myself needing another year or two like this and then either shifting to work on different things or being done for now. At one point I couldn't imagine being without my therapist, but now it doesn't seem as scary.

ETA: As much as you can, maybe try to ignore those Buzzfeed articles. Not every therapist/client pair is cut out for this kind of work (long-term, deep work), so there are many reasons why some people would have the opinion that staying in therapy or being attached is "bad." If you trust your T and you feel good about what you're doing in therapy, then I would try not to worry about it.
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 07:51 AM
  #5
I saw ex-T for 6 years and have been seeing my current T for close to 2.5 years (I started seeing him right after I stopped with ex-T). This topic has come up with my T, and he's said some people do need/benefit from longer-term therapy because of mental health and/or life issues they have (me being one of them).
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 07:54 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee View Post
ETA: As much as you can, maybe try to ignore those Buzzfeed articles. Not every therapist/client pair is cut out for this kind of work (long-term, deep work), so there are many reasons why some people would have the opinion that staying in therapy or being attached is "bad." If you trust your T and you feel good about what you're doing in therapy, then I would try not to worry about it.

I agree with this. Every situation is different--every client, T, and client-T relationship.
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 08:53 AM
  #7
I have been in therapy on and off (but mostly on) since 1994 with 8-9 different T’s. I was with several T’s an average of 3-4 years. These experiences were bad/harmful in a lot of ways including the T not referring me out or doing something when I was making no progress. Basically I went in every week and vented, talked a little about my history and/or depression and never changed.

I started with current T mid December last year. I have made more progress with him in that year than with anyone else even over 4 years. I am working on childhood trauma. My T is very focused on my feeling safe and comfortable above all else. It has taken us a long time to get to anything that began to meet his criteria for feeling safe and it was extremely important work. Now we are working completely at my pace to process the trauma. My T says it takes as long as it takes and his professional information does say that he does “long term therapy”. I can easily see us working steadily for another year or two with all that I have to go through. I’m OK with that as long as I am healing/growing. If I had more responsibilities outside of therapy I could see it taking even longer. Right now my #1 responsibility is healing.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 08:54 AM
  #8
Thank all. I just need to remind myself that we’ve had this discussion so many times and every time he reminded me that it’s my choice. I trust him. I just hate it when the angst gets pokes it’s head out like this. Really messes with how I see things/makes me paranoid.
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 08:55 AM
  #9
And every time I think of termination I have a physical reaction. I make myself sick. I guess when the time is right it will still be hard but not so debilitating as it feels now when I think of it.
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 11:01 AM
  #10
I saw ex-T D for 4 years, ex-T S for 1 year, ex-T for 2 years, T for 4 years, and L we're coming up on 1 year.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 11:36 AM
  #11
I have been in therapy for 18 years. I first went to a pastor who was trained in psychology had a masters. At first i thought i was there to deal with anxiety, and test anxiety in high school. I worked with him for a good 2 years until he told me i was to dependent on him and therapy. I then started to have extreme depression and worked with a lady in the church for 7 years not relizing i should of gone to a psychologist. With her i developed a very unhealthy attachment to her and made no progress. She terminated me adruptly. I took a two year break, i was just seeing a psychiatrist for a eating problem that too got too complicated she took sides. I finally on my own went to the mental health clinic. First one was with a wacky social worker who did not help, then for 6 years i was with a male psychologist who just barley touched the surface and really was AA focused way too much, all that time i had a very mean addiction counsellor til she fired me six months after my husband had a stroke. Last May i finally got a social worker who is helping me go deeper then i have ever into my past and i think i will be in therapy for a long time. I think there is no time limit on therapy. I have had a very traumatic past and it's going to take time to sort through it. I just wish i did not waste so many years with therapists that did not help me. I learned allot though to know whats helpful and not so helpful
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 12:05 PM
  #12
I’m in my 9th year with the same T. We’ve also had the tediously familiar talk about the effectiveness and necessity of long term therapy. I have a diagnosable mood disorder and am not medicated, so I need therapy more for maintenance. I can never understand why it’s ok to be on meds forever, and not be in therapy forever. They both serve the same purpose...?
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 12:38 PM
  #13
I saw my T for 10 years, I would no doubt still be seeing her had she not passed a year and a half ago. I have been seeing EMDR T for 2 1/2 years. Who know when it will end. Both Ts agreed I will need long term therapy because of very complex PTSD which also goes hand in hand with my complex grief.

Since I work in the mental health field (in-patient psych unit, and now in an IOP program) I hear many philosophies on various topics. About back when I had been seeing T for about 4 years, one of the social workers that anybody who had been seeing a T more than a certain period of time was actually just paying for a friend. It sent me all over the place, I periodically talked to T even now some times I have to check in with EMDR T on the issue. They remind me that some people of deeper and more complex issues.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 01:39 PM
  #14
I saw former T for 10 years. Regular T (current) about a year and a half. Pastor T since September maybe. I have no problem with long term therapy. As long as it is helping me and I make progress, then that's good.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 01:40 PM
  #15
Oh, I forgot, I saw a T as a teen for 3 years.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 01:49 PM
  #16
I have been in therapy with the same T for over 30 years. We did take a break of about 15 months, when I decided I was "done," but life got shi**y again, so I went back.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 02:24 PM
  #17
It'll soon be 3 years of my therapy.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 02:50 PM
  #18
It was exactly 3 years on the 14th of December- same T.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 03:44 PM
  #19
Grand total -- 15ish years, but in basically three different eras of my life.

First two times were 2-3ish years each.

That last time was almost exactly 10 years. It was also my most effective AND last therapy. I do not foresee needing therapy again, at least not for the same issues; those, I've gotten under good control. It would take something happening currently that I could not, for some reason, manage for me to go back. I've managed a great deal since ending therapy (on a very positive and complete note), so I just have no idea what that something would be.
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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 03:57 PM
  #20
12 years on and off, a variety of ts. Therapy has helped me a lot. I come from a very dysfunctional family background and adult life has not been kind either. I don't care what anyone says about how long therapy should last, it helps me and that's what counts. Current T is open to me going for as long as I need her.
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