I swore at my therapist

Shotokan · Feb 20, 2020 at 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackocean

as I said earlier, this is the response I’d expect from a good therapist. he understands that you reacted uncharacteristically because you were in pain from abandonment trauma and sees it as something to explore rather than punish. A+

I agree! Lrad, it sounds like you have a keeper.

ScarletPimpernel · Feb 20, 2020 at 01:54 PM

This is how L would react to any boundary violation. She would want to examine/analyze it and find out the reasons behind it, and then work on those issues.

I'm glad you have a good T like that!

stopdog · Feb 20, 2020 at 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shotokan

If you were referring to something your therapist did or said when you made the aforementioned statement, that is swearing at her.

We are not going to agree on this. I don't even see any of what has been discussed here as a boundary situation.
Plus it didn't bother the woman. She took my money without complaint.

LonesomeTonight · Feb 20, 2020 at 03:21 PM

Out of curiosity, today I asked Dr. T how he’d respond if I did this. And he responded similarly to how I thought he would, that he would be bothered by it and we’d discuss it, but he wouldn’t terminate me over it. And that he wouldn’t have considered it abusive. And it would probably take a lot for me to say that to him. I said how maybe it would seem like progress that I’d expressed that level of anger. Dr. T (smiling): “maybe I’d think that a week later.” (As in, he wouldn’t think it in the moment, but later might realize it was progress for me).

Lrad123 · Feb 20, 2020 at 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

This is how L would react to any boundary violation.

Funny thing is he would never even use the term “boundary violation.” For the most part he doesn’t use therapisty type terms. I’ve asked him for the “therapy rule book” before and he has always said there isn’t one. When I’ve talked about behaving appropriately he has responded with, “what is appropriate anyway?” So far it seems like anything goes. I don’t know if he even would have brought up the specific FU term if I had not. I think he would have just focused on understanding/validating why I was upset.

ScarletPimpernel · Feb 20, 2020 at 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lrad123

Funny thing is he would never even use the term “boundary violation.” For the most part he doesn’t use therapisty type terms. I’ve asked him for the “therapy rule book” before and he has always said there isn’t one. When I’ve talked about behaving appropriately he has responded with, “what is appropriate anyway?” So far it seems like anything goes. I don’t know if he even would have brought up the specific FU term if I had not. I think he would have just focused on understanding/validating why I was upset.

L doesn't use the term boundary violation either. I did/do. She also doesn't use the word bad or wrong.

MessyD · Feb 20, 2020 at 07:52 PM

I think all this depends on client-therapist relationship. I don’t swear at people and never do at my therapist but I just kinda told him to F off first time in 4 years. He asked how long have I wanted to tell him that and I said all week. He said that’s a long time and that I could’ve texted him saying that. And then he thanked me for trusting him enough to say that. Go figure.

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ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,408 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,414 hugs given	Feb 20, 2020 at 01:54 PM #62 This is how L would react to any boundary violation. She would want to examine/analyze it and find out the reasons behind it, and then work on those issues. I'm glad you have a good T like that! __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
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