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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
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#21
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Yes, it is damaging as hell to the client when that happens. Which is exactly why - for the protection of the client - between-session contact, whether that be by email, text or phone - should have a very strict boundary around it from the outset. |
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LonesomeTonight
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Member Since Apr 2015
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#22
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I agree that some response is good practice and polite. I just don't think therapists (who choose not to use email for anything other than admin and scheduling) should be expected to write long responses to those kinds of emails. It's basically an expectation of the continuation of the therapy session, without paying for the extra time. Having said that, some therapists are fine using email in that way and that's ok too. It's up to the therapist how they choose to work. __________________ "It is a joy to be hidden but a disaster not to be found." D.W. Winnicott |
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ArtleyWilkins
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#23
^^I agree with this, TeaVicar. It isn't the emails themselves. Yes, pretty much all business professionals deal with some emails outside of work time, but they are business emails, not the stuff of emotion and trauma and transference, etc. prone to misinterpretation due to emotional baggage. For most of us, our after hours emails are things like, "Yes, I'll take care of that on Monday," or "Come see me on Tuesday and we'll look into this", etc. If a client is simply taking care of scheduling an appointment, that is probably fine, but so often, people are writing emotional, heavy, reflective emails and when the therapist doesn't answer or if they answer "incorrectly" in some fashion, it just opens up all sorts of issues. Even if they reply and say, "I can't respond to this right now. Let's talk about this in our next session," they will often be dealing with a client who now says they don't care, etc.
Email for therapy is a bit of a can of worms. I personally feel I was fortunate that it really wasn't an option with my therapists. I picked up the phone and talked to them if I really needed to speak to them. If it wasn't that pressing, it could wait for session. It sure made my therapy less confusing. I do think if a therapist allows emails, they need to be explicit about what they will respond to and what email is not for. I do as much with my students. Heck, we even have discussions about email etiquette. I also believe they have the right to change their policy for a client about emails if they discover it is creating problems, or if they decide a client could benefit from emails. Flexibility on the part of the therapist AND the client is important as they grow to know each other. |
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Kk222, Lemoncake, Lonelyinmyheart
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underdog is here
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#24
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__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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here today, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#25
[QUOTE=TeaVicar?;6778992]But how many lawyers are going to receive an emotional, self reflective email from their client, following a previous appointment? It takes time to respond to that kind of email, in an appropriately thoughtful way. I imagine lawyers mainly deal with more factual content, not so much a debrief on the lawyer client relationship. Also, don't lawyers tend to charge for emails?
Exactly, how many other professions answer e mn ails where the client "just"needs reassurance and will offer it frequently and in depth free of charge. __________________ |
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underdog is here
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#26
[QUOTE=nottrustin;6779064]
Quote:
I never found a therapist's response to anything whether in person or in email or on the phone to be useful. But this rush to defend those people (who are in no peril and don't really care whether a client is upset or not) on this basis is simply mind boggling to me. It is like those people who defend their kidnappers or torturers. Or the Jailor's Pet monty python scene: "Now, take my case. They hung me up here five years ago. Every night, they take me down for twenty minutes, then they hang me up again, which I regard as very fair, in view of what I done, and, if nothing else, it's taught me to respect the Romans, and it's taught me... that you'll never get anywhere in this life, unless you're prepared to do a fair day's work for a fair day's pay!" Life of Brian Script - Scene 12: Brian Earns Jailor's Pet Title __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: In The Dojo
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#27
Some therapists believe that good therapists do not let their clients have 24 hour access to them. Clients are "taught skills" and need to be working on them out of session. Then when they meet with their therapist, a discussion of whether or not the techniques helped and if and how to work on them takes place. I've experienced this when working for a group practice.
Last edited by Shotokan; Feb 24, 2020 at 03:27 PM.. |
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Member
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#28
My psychiatrist just perused this thread the other day. He stated, "there should be no reason for emails. Therapy takes place in the office; it should NOT be ongoing. Now during an actual crisis, a patient can try to reach me through the office manager or contact the crisis hotline. The crisis hotline will even send someone (outreach worker) out to meet the client, if necessary. The outreach workers not only do counseling, but they also transport people to the emergency room if necessary. Anyway, the majority of practices don't allow contact after hours. They just let their patients know that the crisis line is available.
I can understand this. They need to recharge their batteries to be productive in their sessions. |
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Member
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#29
[QUOTE=nottrustin;6779064]
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underdog is here
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#30
Stockholm Syndrome is the phrase I was looking for
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#31
My former T encouraged me to send her emails and texts between sessions. Some were short. Some were long. I usually sent her an email to debrief later that day or the next day. She usually responded. We did a lot of growth that way. Regular T and Pastor T don't really email. I *can* email Pastor T because he is my pastor too, so if I have a question on something spiritual, I'll send it to him, but I've not felt the desire to debrief about our therapy with him, mostly because it is cut and dry for the most part. I don't know how he would respond to that sort of email either. BTW, he emailed me last night to see if I could change from today til tomorrow being that he is sick. I said sure--and don't infect your wife!
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Threadtastic Postaholic
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#32
I dont think this issue needs to be emotionally charged or looked at as a "bad therapist" or "bad client". If the therapist is ok with it they need to be consistent about responding and if they plan on billing for it that needs to be said up front. Its cruel to allow a client access to you for emails and emotional crisis's and then decide that its too much and stop contact. At the same time its completely ok to establish guidelines that you wont do email or respond to it as a matter of boundaries. My son is about to go to law school. He is 24. He is currently clerking for a law team at a big company. I asked him what his perspective was on emails after hours and he said its typically billed like any other time billed- even if its an emergency. They also have a system where the lawyers can be emailed but it goes through like a.. filter that hides their personal email. They will still get the emails whenever they are sent but its through the portal so that clients know that the lawyers are not on standby for them. I do not look at therapists as "special" people with special jobs that would prevent them from outside the office contact but I think they should either set the standard or not and uphold it.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
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#33
I’ve posted about emails in the past. For the first year of our relationship my T responded to my emails and then abruptly stopped, saying he didn’t think they were helping. I think maybe he was right. At the time, I wasn’t doing a great job of being present during sessions, but now I am. Now, I will typically get a generic one sentence response to an email. I’m not sure what my deal is with wanting a short, but thoughtful response from him, but I really want that. I’m otherwise not needy and not ever in crisis. I’m independent in my real life. But I very much want an occasional thoughtful response from him. I’m not sure if there’s a deep hidden meaning there or if I just want connection. It hurts not to get this and I’m not sure how to think of it. Anyway, this is an interesting topic for me.
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
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#34
I really think it's ultimately up to T's to set their own policies on email based on what they're comfortable with. I agree on how there shouldn't be "bad therapist" or "bad client." I imagine many people might think I'm a "bad client" in this scenario...
My T also allows email when he's out of town (assuming he has WiFi access) and checks/replies once a day, generally in the morning. He's away this week, and I sent him something brief last night. I opened by saying I'd intended not to email him, but it had been a really stressful week.... He replied this morning with some supportive words and added "Please do not concern yourself with having reached out. It’s not a problem, and you’re not my only client to do so." One of T's things he focuses on with me is taking him at his word, that he'll be honest with me if something bothers him (and he has been in the past). So I'm taking him at his word here. I'm sure many would say I shouldn't have bothered him while he's away, but he says it's OK, and I believe that. I trust him to be able to set his own boundaries--he could have just said he wouldn't be able to check email (or that he'd only check a couple times, or would read but not reply). If he's really *not* OK with it, then that's on him. |
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SlumberKitty
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Lrad123, Polibeth, SlumberKitty
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