What kind of therapist causes most transference?

I've seen therapists who share nothing or very little about themselves and I've seen therapists who share a bit about interests, family, work and so on.

I never stayed long with those being blank slates but various times with those sharing about themselves.

I like those sharing but it makes me wonder if it's those who cause more transference than the blank slate ones or if it's the other way around?

I know I often feel way more attached if my counsellor has shared something with me, like something happening during her day or something little she has gone through. I also feel a bit of pain in the idealisation and warm feelings that come with that even if I know the feelings can drop rather fast if she says or does something that hurts me.

What kind of therapist do you think causes most transference and "difficult" although warm feelings?

Think its more of the type you "attach" with, vs the kind of therapist that shares or doesn't.
The feelings you have once you attach and feel "warm" feelings towards and know it will drop is a key indicator, i think.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with if they share or don’t.

Some clients (from what you can read on here over the years) develop romantic transference with every male therapist they see. It doesn’t matter if he is any good or shares anything. Simply being male causes the attachment. Some develop maternal or romantic or whatever other feelings for all older female therapists, again nothing to do with how much they share or if they are even good therapists etc etc etc

I think what’s causing transference is whatever is that you struggle with in life, what’s missing in your life, what seems to fill up that empty spot at thar moment etc

I also don't think it matters much about if and what the therapist shares.

Also, I think it is extremely narrow view to limit transference to attachment or warm feelings. There are all sorts of transferences that can play out. For instance - if a person makes quite rigid assumptions about every therapist before even really working with them - this can be already be an indication of a very strong transference.

Thanks. I think the attachment though has to do with the therapist sharing or not. I wouldn´t attach to a T that share very little or nothing as I would end such a relationship rather quickly. By that I see the sharing connected to possible transference. Another client preferring the therapist to be a blank slate gets attached to that type of therapist as well as I (and others) get attached to those sharing more.

It seems like the transference is really a matter of the client's displacement of emotions/meaning onto a therapist. I'm not sure a therapist "causes" that to happen, and from what I've read here, there doesn't seem to be a "type" of therapist that "causes" the transference -- people write about all sorts of situations that result in transference. Some clients never really experience transference as an issue, particularly not an unsettling or disruptive one in their therapy. Other clients appear to be more prone to this pattern of reaction/response to their therapist or therapy relationships.

Thanks. That´s interesting, that some develop transference towards therapists they don´t even feel is that good. I´ve always seen a strong link betweeen (positive) transference and a good therapeutic relationship and by good it can of course mean the therapist sharing about him-/herself or being a blank slate depending on what the client prefers.

I think the sharing goes both ways, if a therapist shares "too much" with a client who wants more of a blank slate T, then this client would less likely develop transference in a positive sense. Transference is as all know both positive and negative and the sharing or not sharing can induce both.

If something is lacking in the client´s life I would say it´s the positives in a therapeutic relationship that brings transference and warm feelings. And then we´re back to the relationship itself.

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I do not agree with the last paragraph. People usually seek familiar subconsciously. Missing something doesn’t mean that person will develop positive and warm transference.

Examples are women who have absentee or unloving father end up attached to men who are just as absent or unloving. They might develop erotic transference towards very cold and manipulative or inappropriate and harsh therapists and usually ends very ugly.

By your logic people having rough childhood would automatically gravitate towards finding wonderful people and developing warm and fuzzy feeling towards them.

But it doesn’t work this way, people gravitate towards familiar unless they are working on breaking the pattern. How much therapist shares doesn’t matter to most.

I don’t know how much you read on these boards but I see zero evidence of any kind of relation between transference and how much or how little therapists share or warm fuzzy transference when you looking for something missing in your life.

People don’t usually go to therapy consciously looking for a therapist to fill in the void. It happens on a more subconscious level imho

Then consider that you require an emotional bond inoder to work with a T.??

By its very definition, transference originates solely within the client. It is the client's feelings from previous patterns of relationships transferred on to the therapist. Everyone has a pattern of relating to other people, that developed from their unique life experiences and relationships. They reenact these patterns of relating within the therapeutic relationship. They react to whatever the therapist does or doesn't do or says or doesn't say according to their personal expectations, beliefs of intention, and patterns of relating. This isn't limited to relationships between clients or therapists, but occurs within every interaction we have with other people. We don't interact with anyone from a blank slate, but with a lifetime's worth of experience forming our expectations and beliefs. The fact that our transferences are played out so intensely within the therapeutic relationship is just a by product of it being such an intense and personal one.

And - everyone experiences transference, it's just that not all transference is problematic or causes distress.

Based upon previous posts, it seems like you have negative transference towards most, if not all, Ts. You judge them by their socioeconomics, by how much they share, etc. I know you keep searching for the perfect T...have you ever found one that meets all of your qualifications? Better yet, is there any other way to get your needs met outside of therapy?

Are you talking about transference or emotional attachment?

Attachment is emotional bond with other people. I could see that it’s harder or even impossible to form emotional bond with someone who shares nothing about themselves. Sharing encourages emotional bond (that's how friendships and relationships form and deepen), talking about real world here mostly, not therapy room

Transference on the other hand is a projection of old feelings from your past (often childhood but not always) onto new relationships, in this case with therapists.

For example you often share having negative feelings about their socio economic levels and believe they can’t possibly understand you because they are better off than you. Even if they share absolutely nothing about themselves, you still logically know they are better off hence you assume they can’t understand you and it causes negative transference.

When people assume that male or female therapists will not understand them is a transference based on their previous experience with that gender. Sharing or not sharing will not make them to be of different gender

Could you talk to your current counselor about concept of emotional bond/attachment?

Have you ever felt that with people outside of therapy ? Family? Friend? Romantic partner?

I’d think it would be.a great and beneficial topic for you. It might help (just my thought) more than analyzing how much therapist shares because it focuses on your life outside of therapy. You might find out what makes you form or not form bonds whth people in reality of your life.

Depends on the what you go in for those that do a lot of affirming in my personal experiences. Not saying this isn't good just saying if you hate transference try to align it away from what you need. I think this sounds like you wondering on the occupational socialization side or just for a few worries in your life. At certain times you need trying to nailed down what you might need to elevate yourself , then find the point in history to where somebody harmed it or help you seem better at it

Transference is there in every relationship, therapeutic or not, but is present with more weight in therapeutic ones. In particular, I believe one purpose of "blank slate"-ness is to ensure that the non-transference part of the relationship is minimal. But I guess it also might trigger different sorts of transferences than sharing. For me a "blank slate" is the opposite of helpful, makes me feel like prey and makes me even more afraid to share anything that I consider shameful or a weakness. Sharing (or otherwise acting like an actual human being) lets me feel less vulnerable, but that might be a trap because then I develop an attachment which then causes problems. Actually, I think I might have developed some sort of an attachment to a blank slate I was seeing for nearly a year, though it was mostly very unpleasant. More of an obsession with wanting to figure her out.