Therapist weird about relationship?

I started seeing a psychologist 4 months ago. At first he seemed okay but now I'm feeling uneasy-odd feeling. I brought up a male friend in our discussion. This guy lives long distance and I spoke about a small struggle I had in the relationship ( not romantic- acquaintance, friendship ). I shared my feelings, and asked how should I deal with it.
At first he seemed okay discussing it but after the first session it turned weird. I said this guy appeared to be upset over a situation I endured. My therapist became a bit annoyed and said " Why would he be upset! Im the one who is upset!" A few sessions later friend was brought up again. He said " Yeah I figured we would talk about him again" He seemed annoyed.

If your wondering, my hour session was not entirely about this friend. Maybe 15 minutes. I discussed the friend issue at my first and third session.

I decided to contact this friend to discuss the issue (, busy career., travel. Issue-he wasn't answering me for awhile and I wasn't sure if he was ghosting me as a friend) The issue was discussed with a good outcome. I shared the great news with my therapist. He didn't appear happy. "So you got an answer" in a tone that wasn't happy. Disappointed or sullen?

He asked me what was your friends response?I told him. . Are you sure your happy with his response? I thought he would respond with a little more detail. If it was me I would respond to you with more detail. I felt like he was making me question the response or attempting to cast doubt in my mind. I was quite content with my friends response before the therapist asked me. Afterwards I thought about it and was still happy.
When I was leaving he said "Remember I will always answer your emails and text"

I could see him feeling upset if this guy friend was dangerous or abusive and he was warning me. However that was not the case with this male friend.

Uneasy feeling or creepy

Anyone else experience similar with a therapist?

Hey @Christmas cookie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christmas cookie I started seeing a psychologist 4 months ago. At first he seemed okay but now I'm feeling uneasy-odd feeling. I brought up a male friend in our discussion. This guy lives long distance and I spoke about a small struggle I had in the relationship ( not romantic- acquaintance, friendship ). I shared my feelings, and asked how should I deal with it. At first he seemed okay discussing it but after the first session it turned weird. I said this guy appeared to be upset over a situation I endured. My therapist became a bit annoyed and said " Why would he be upset! Im the one who is upset!" A few sessions later friend was brought up again. He said " Yeah I figured we would talk about him again" He seemed annoyed.

Are you a man or a woman? I am just trying to work out the possible dynamic between you and your therapist.

Quote:

I decided to contact this friend to discuss the issue (, busy career., travel. Issue-he wasn't answering me for awhile and I wasn't sure if he was ghosting me as a friend) The issue was discussed with a good outcome. I shared the great news with my therapist. He didn't appear happy. "So you got an answer" in a tone that wasn't happy. Disappointed or sullen? He asked me what was your friends response?I told him. . Are you sure your happy with his response? I thought he would respond with a little more detail. If it was me I would respond to you with more detail. I felt like he was making me question the response or attempting to cast doubt in my mind. I was quite content with my friends response before the therapist asked me. Afterwards I thought about it and was still happy. When I was leaving he said "Remember I will always answer your emails and text" I could see him feeling upset if this guy friend was dangerous or abusive and he was warning me. However that was not the case with this male friend. Uneasy feeling or creepy Anyone else experience similar with a therapist?

This does seem odd. Is it something you are willing to ask him about? Sometimes we interpret things due to tone that the other person doesnt mean. Sometimes we are off the mark and sometimes we are right on the money. I think you should devote some of your session to explaining how you felt about his tone and responses and ask him to clarify them.

From what you write here, it seems your therapist is jealous of your guy friend.

That most certainly doesn't seem professional.

Confusing. Why your therapist says these things is beyond me. I’d ask for clarifications

Thank you everyone for replying.
Sarasweets I'm a woman

I should ask him to clarify and tell him how I felt about his tone. Yet my intuitive feeling is uneasy, subtle creepiness and or jealously.

Update.

I contacted T a few days ago via phone call. I brought up the male friend and mentioned you seemed quite upset when I spoke about it. I repeated the words my T used. I felt you had an issue with this person you never met? Could you please clarify? He was silent momentarily. He blurted "'You explained this friend appeared or possibly was upset ( not angry) with regards to a trauma you endured. You don't know him that well. Why would he be upset? I'm the one who feels upset. " T didn't tell yell at me but his tone was slightly upset?

After my sessions I usually book my next appointment. The last appointment he seemed disappointed, annoyed and said call me or text me to book the next one.

I forgot to add he mentioned I should write a book on my past trauma. He said your story is remarkable and I would like to read it ( he knows most of my trauma) I thought about writing a book before I met T. I'm not ready and never told T I considered writing a book.

All of this including what I wrote in my original post seems weird. I'm wondering, as another poster pointed out, he's jealous of my friendship. My intuition for a few appointments was a mix of subtle creepiness and?

I'm considering finding a new T.

I vote trust your gut. My T and I are very close and I know T gets upset by my trauma. Sometimes T shares his emotional reaction to my trauma when it benefits me. I can’t ever see T getting upset over a strangers reaction to my trauma unless it was harmful to me. It also bothers me that your T’s answer isn’t really an answer. It feels like T was feeling misunderstood and reacted to their feelings. IDK. You have done all the right things so I would be looking for a new T.

I agree his response wasn't really an answer. And my friends response wasn't harmful or dangerous so it's odd with regards to his reaction.

He contacted me yesterday and wants to set up an appointment in person on FaceTime. With covid -19 I'm certainly not seeing him in person. I told my therapist text or phone call. He seemed disappointed because I refused FaceTime ( Not comfortable with video chat for sessions). Anyways I decided not to book and plan to find a new therapist.

I think you made the right call. Your therapist does sound jealous of your relationship with your friend. That would creep me out.

I agree that it seems like the right choice to move on. Even pushing the FaceTime seems off to me. My T offered FaceTime or phone sessions. I can’t imagine him pushing something I didn’t feel comfortable with. I’m sorry you are having to look for a new T in the midst of all this virus stuff but I think it is the right choice.