Couch 213: The Tulip couch

Youtube and too much free time

This baseball game I chose pretty much randomly on YouTube, not knowing the outcome or the length, is going into extra innings. It's just like real baseball!

I've been watching reruns of my team winning the World Series and even though I know the outcome - I'm still having heart palpitations.

Oh - and a world with no Joe Buck commentary - priceless

I'm struggling so much. Dealing with H trying to buy a car. Dad wanting to know our bills. H and dad trying to do math together. Sister wanting attention. Worrying about L. T telling me not to contact L between sessions. Needing L more. Just everything is **** right now

Hugs, Scarlet... Can you just tell H he can't buy a car right now? And with L, I think it's up to her to decide how much between-session contact is OK, not T.

hugs scarlet. i'm so sorry you're struggling, i'm struggling too, coincidentally my h started talking yesterday about buying another car and selling mine i'm like whaaa.... dude.... why? i literally go nowhere. my puddle-jumper-beater-car is perfectly fine for a trip to the store or in case I have to go a dr appointment or something and most importantly is 100% paid for. I'm worrying about L still as I haven't heard from her in 2 weeks so I don't know if she's still sick or worse, feel like i can't email her to find out cuz of how 2 weeks ago she said she'd stay in touch; and i have that CT scan next week i'm worrying myself over, and work is a mess right now too with them changing so many things at the worst possible time to make changes. i'm coming undone over here all the way around and it ain't pretty.

My dad and I are trying to convince him not to. But he convinced me to go test drive the car he wants and we wound up at the dealership for 4.5 hours... I can't take this kind of stress.

I guess I'll contact L. She'd probably want me to contact her instead of acting on my thoughts. I just really don't want to upset her.

I'm surprised car dealerships are open. Buying a new car doesn't seem essential at this moment in time.

good point. i'm hoping they are not open here.

Car repairs at dealerships are. I saw a tv ad today. I guess if your car broke down, and you wanted a new one, a sales dealership would be essential. You wouldnt want to be forced into a repair. And you want to retain access to transportation. Losing that would really make people feel impotent.

I had to take my car in for a safety-related recall recently. We planned to leave it there for a few days, but that turned into a week because we both forgot it was there. So to me, it seems like a weird time to be thinking about cars when many of us are barely using ours.

I'm also amused at how many of my neighbors still have their trash cans at the curb several days after trash day because they don't leave their house so they don't ever remember to take them in.

Yeah, as I was posting my comment, I realized there are exceptions and that people's cars do break down and we still need access to transportation. I can see having the repair shops open and being able to buy a car if yours is caput, but it doesn't sound like that's what H is doing. H wants a new car because he's kind of entitled sounding. I really hope SP has her own accounts because he's going to bankrupt them with his financial malfeasance.

My H was an entitled little *****. When we moved cross country we went down to one car. I didn't want him to be trapped at home all day so he would take me to work and pick me up. He lost the right to have the car during the day after one too many times when he either showed up drunk to pick me up or was passed out drunk at home and never showed up to get me. Then he decided he needed his own car because I refused to let him take me anymore. I said we could look for something used, but that was not good enough for him. He needed a new car. Mind you, my car is 15 years old and he doesn't work. I remember arguing about this one morning before work and he told me what a f-ing c*nt I was and to get the f out of his face in a way that scared me. I could feel his hatred of me emanating from him.

I apologize if me calling SP's H entitled is out of line. It reminds me somewhat of my situation.

I went to Costco today, first time out to do real grocery and sundries shopping since...is it still April? Time is a mystery to me. It's been over a month anyway.


Shopping at Costco with social distancing minus masks is my dream. They should do this forever. I did not want to run over anyone with my cart, not once the entire trip.

Did you get the Danish pastries?

I bought survival supplies like jelly beans and chocolate bars and bacon and wine.

Entitled sounding is one of the least offensive things he's been called...even on here I think. L and I have talked about why I choose to stay with him even after all that I've been through. She wishes he would do more for me: cuddle without strings attached, provide me emotional and financial security, etc. I'm not trying to defend him, nor throw him under the bus. However, he is putting us at more financial risk. We only have enough money to last the rest of the year. That's it. Selling his Tesla would allow us 6 more months of money. But he wants to get a loan or lease a new $30k car with no income and okay credit. The best interest rate they could get us today was 12%. The deals they advertise are lies unless you have high income and an 800+ credit score. Its bs. But H is jumping the gun. Carmax, which is where we could sell the Tesla, is closed until further notice. So buying a car now doesn't help us at all.

It just stresses me out real bad talking about finances. I know how bad it is. Homelessness is just around the corner. That is really scary. I won't do it again.

I left L a voice-mail as per our agreement. But I have session with her tomorrow at 1pm, so she probably won't call.

The best quote I've heard about love is "we accept the love we think we deserve". You don't know how much respect and love you deserve until you walk away.

I wouldn't want to buy a new car when that money could be used for rent or food.Just because he wants it doesn't mean you have to agree at all. Given the way things are it would be a great idea to have that extra money as a buffer.

My school started offering counselling last month. We're a smaller campus. It was always available at another location, but with travelling time it didn't seem worth it. They're doing it online now with a clinical psychologist. Last month was fully booked. but there's spaces I booked for Wednesday, but might cancel later on. The advantage is that I don't have to pay.

I feel like R is pushing me to talk about things I don't want to, with his wasting your time comments and when I asked for clarification what boundary I had broken, he said he wasn't going to get drawn into this. But said getting him to selling him a sketch when I'd asked jokingly if he buy one of my sister's drawings. That last session was last session and I had this time now but I wasn't.

Also just hanging up on the dot even if I might still be crying heavily seems cruel.

Oooo sounds like my kind of shop.

What bars did you get? I'm getting a kitkat vibe from you.