Couch 213: The Tulip couch

I'm sorry about your dog, WFS.

It is hard to lose a pet. sorry to hear it.

Anybody else feel fairly okay right now? When I read the news, I feel some combination of terrified, sad, and angry, but when I'm living my everyday life, I feel pretty normal and okay.

I discussed this with Amy today, and she said most of her clients feel the same way. She said she mostly works with people who have stable jobs and health insurance and who have experienced developmental trauma. She said those kind of people are having an easier time because they don't feel isolated in their fear (because this affects literally everybody on the planet), they aren't worried about getting their basic needs met, and they don't feel left out because nobody is going anywhere or doing anything anyway. We also talked about how the world has never felt particularly safe to me, so this lack of safety isn't as shocking as it might be otherwise. And I have developed coping skills to manage the distressing feelings people are experiencing because I experience them somewhat frequently.

I think it would be a different story if I were a medical professional or if my spouse were still a police officer. But I still feel a little weird for being mostly okay, especially when so many of my Facebook friends seem very much not okay.

well I emailed L this morning just to check in and see how she's feeling and she said she's still sick and is riding it out at home. I'm worried about her but she's otherwise healthy and strong so I'm hopeful.

I cannot figure why people tell me about their over-reactions to the virus situation if they don't expect me to respond like they are over-reacting. I am not talking about social distancing - I am talking about escalating dooms day scenarios, hysteria, and general goofiness (checking temperatures several times a day, commands to everyone to wash, treating competent other adults like children and so on) - Do they think I have changed my entire outlook on life and over-emoting? I try saying things like -"mmhmm" and "wow that is hard" and even "I see" (even though I don't) - but still I am pressed for more when we all know I am going to fail them.

I feel pretty much OK. I mean, not happy, but I know I can deal with whatever.

It occurs to me that what therapists have always insisted is a problem for me—not thinking enough emotionally—is a strength in a crisis like this.

Yes, I do. It probably helps that I am still going into the office (CA is on a Safer at Home order but my workplace is considered critical manufacturing so we stay open as long as it is viable for us to do so). So my days haven't changed too much. My case manager/care coordinator is worried about the lack of social interaction for me right now, which I see her point but I don't think I am nearly as bothered by it as she is. She also thinks I am sleeping too much which I probably am but I was doing that before COVID-19 anyway, just now there is even less of an incentive to get up on the weekends! I feel like I'm insulated in some ways emotionally because my day to day life hasn't changed a lot during the week even though by coming to work and such we are all probably at higher risk of getting exposed. Hard to say. The places where I'm noticing it is on the weekends when I can't attend Church in person and stuff but I don't feel particularly down about it or anything. I feel like my emotions are out of place considering all that is going on.

I usually don’t write in this thread, only read. Right now I find it interesting to read about how different it is depending on where you live. I live in Sweden. We haven’t closed our schools. We can go where we want to, even though it’s recommended that we stay at home or work from home if possible. All stores are open. We can go out for dinner. But - they don’t recommend it. My T still sees people IRL.

It’s so strange how different the world is compared to a couple of month ago. It’s scary and weird. A lot of people here want them to close the schools and be more strict.

In Sweden, everyone is entitled to medical help. You don’t need insurance. You pay your taxes and you get the help you need (if urgent). But of course, the hospitals are crowded at the moment.

I hope the world will recover from this! ❤️

I didn't buy their attempts at turning me more emotional either - I see nothing wrong with my reserved responses ever -but it does seem an actual plus in situations like this

I'm bored at work right now. I'm trying to read through some COVID 19 articles for small businesses but my concentration is shot.

It sounds like you mostly have a desk job. Are you not allowed to work from home? Everybody I know who has a desk job has been working from home for weeks, and we (allegedly) don't have as many cases as California.

Fuzzy, so sorry about your dog.

I do have a desk job--accounting and HR--and my work did set me up to work from home IF it comes to it--which so far it hasn't and I haven't asked what does that mean? I mean if it were me, I'd have as few people here on site as possible, but it's not my company.


Our sister company in NY is working from home mostly. They are rotating shifts coming into the office but only like 25% of the workforce at one time. Which is maybe like 5 people. But then again we have a small workforce. There are only 15 of us, two of which work remotely anyway, which leaves 13 on site. And today 4 of the 13 are off on some sort of PTO.


The main time we are together is in the morning for our board meeting, other than that I sit in my office or occasionally wander to the front office to go to the copier or something.

I think they are just waiting for one of us to get COVID 19. Seriously.

Our lives have been very much disrupted. My husband is on unpaid furlough. Hopefully unemployment will kick in soon. No idea how long the furlough will be or if he'll end up losing his medical benefits at the end of April. My college son is home because his college has gone fully online, but he's highly stressed because over half of his classes are essentially unworkable online because they are music performance classes. I'm trying to start teaching online. Our district is mandating contacting every single student (our district has 53,000); I'm responsible for my 2nd period, but just making those calls and documenting everything is extremely time consuming. The technology isn't quite working right (or at all actually today) so it feels a bit chaotic. Daughter-in-law was having asthma problems today and they had to be sure it wasn't COVID (very similar in symptoms). Husband and I are both high risk so we're doing our best to stay away from stores. My father is 89 and in assisted living. So far fine, but I dread any news that the status of his center has changed.

All that said, we're okay. But all combined it is a storm of stressors. We're doing a good job of talking to each other and listening to each other vent about what we are personally stressing over at any given time. Fortunately, we have really good communication skills in this family (thank you therapy).

I just cant believe how stupid govt are. We had a rush on the unemployment office because the govt said they would waive the requirements for it. They were totally unprepared for the numbers and the minister esponsible said he didnt realise that people would lose jobs if businesses closed. Wtf

Our overtime was canceled today, so I just gave some much-needed attention to cleaning (mostly decluttering) my house. It had gotten out of control with both of us working so much. I need to teach these cats how to clean, or something...

T emailed me that she has sewn some masks for me and my co-workers. She is so darn sweet.

Our family unit is still doing well in quarantine and getting along much better than usual. It has also helped open our eyes to how much work (outside work, cleaning, cooking, etc) we each do.

Anybody read any good books lately? I like mysteries and sciencey nonfiction the best, but I am open to any suggestions that will make the quarantimes go by easier.

Quarantimes.

I doubt our tastes are the same, but here are my last few 5-star ratings for fiction books on Goodreads:

Baudolino by Umberto Eco
Purgatory Bay by Bryan Gruley (mystery series)
Return of the Dancing Master by Henning Mankell
The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern
American Gods by Neil Gaiman

I’m almost finished a thick biography of David Ben-Gurion. If the libraries hadn’t closed, I would have had to return it by now.

now that it's looking even more likely that L has the virus (from her email earlier today, she didn't say it, but it sounds like it from what she said....) i'm starting to be even more concerned about h being out there every day. he's taking precautions of course and has limited the number of jobs he takes each day (he tries to do only one or two) and everywhere he delivers to is also taking precautions so there's no human contact at package handoff (like, they'll watch from inside a door through a window that he has delivered the package, then after he leaves they'll come out and get it, stuff like that) and he washes his hands a lot but with L being sick for almost 2 weeks now (she NEVER gets sick) and the number of cases in my county now over 100, I'm getting more concerned about him being out there even as little as he is.