Do you ever want your therapist to be worried about you?

Mountaindewed · Mar 27, 2020 at 10:58 AM

Do you ever secretly like it when your therapist says she or he is concerned or worried about you? I do. When my therapist asks me about my eating habits or says she was really worried about me the week before or asks me to tell her about some side effect I was having, I’m glad she’s asking.

Is anyone else like this?

CharlieStarDust · Mar 27, 2020 at 11:05 AM

Absolutely. A few years ago, I was probably at my lowest, and she said she’s concerned about me and that it’s hard for her to see me like that, and she cares. At the time I rebuffed all her intentions. But when I calmed down, it felt very real and genuine, and I miss that feeling.

stopdog · Mar 27, 2020 at 11:39 AM

Absolutely not - the therapist gets to have no stake in my life. The idea of it completely creeps me out. They are hired because they are not real or part of my life - I expect them to stay back and away from me

SlumberKitty · Mar 27, 2020 at 11:57 AM

No, not worried about me, but I want them to care about me. And not just in the therapist-y way where they care about everyone but I want them to care about *me* as a human, as a person, and not just as a client.

Lonelyinmyheart · Mar 27, 2020 at 12:24 PM

Yes, all the time.

comrademoomoo · Mar 27, 2020 at 12:59 PM

Oh my god, yes! I want her to be wracked with worry about me!! The more she worries, the more she cares! I want to be her priority, I want to occupy her heart, to be her most loved one. Unfortunately, I think her biggest worry is that she will never see the back of me.

Omers · Mar 27, 2020 at 01:39 PM

I know my T worries about me. I just wish he would talk to me more about it. Some of his worries are justified like knowing how hard it is for me not to have my safe space (his office). Others are not so accurate like some of his concerns about H and I.

Amandae8787 · Mar 27, 2020 at 02:26 PM

Yes!! I don’t think she ever worries about me though. She thinks that I soon will cope without her with the support I have from my family and with the skills I’ve learned. I guess I will?

I don’t know why I want HER to worry. I don’t tell others how I feel because I don’t want to worry them. I want to protect them.

SoAn · Mar 27, 2020 at 07:46 PM

My former T: yes, definitely. But also to see me as strong and attractive as a potential partner.
My current T: no (there is more distance in this relationship, or perhaps because she's a woman? I have no desire to be 'small/helpless' in her eyes, which I like!)

Amyjay · Mar 27, 2020 at 08:09 PM

No, I really don't. And the few times I have detected concern have made me feel intensely uncomfortable.

sophiebunny · 11:55 PM

Absolutely not. "Worried" means they have either lost perspective or don't feel competent to treat whatever I bring in. I need my psychiatrist and therapist to be good crisis mangers, not "worriers". Fortunately, they are both excellent crisis managers and I feel safe that they will never "worry" but rather deal with the issue at hand appropriately. "Worry" isn't about you, it's about them. I'll take empathy and insight from them, gladly, however. It's far healthier.

daisydid · Mar 27, 2020 at 11:50 PM

I think I do. I’ve had therapists say it to me before and it made me feel like I was seen and heard. I spend the majority of my life gritting my teeth to get through the day and for another human being to see my struggle and acknowledge it means a lot.

Christmas cookie · Mar 28, 2020 at 09:13 AM

Depends on how it comes across. Empathy is important. I have a feeling my current T cares ( his words, actions) . However my spidey senses are telling me he's slightly creepy or has intentions. I'm considering leaving.

ArtleyWilkins · Mar 28, 2020 at 03:46 PM

There were definitely times when I was quite aware that my therapist and/or my pdoc were highly concerned about my well-being. I suppose I knew they were "worried" although I didn't really think of it in that term; I really thought of it as very concerned which is more of a professional assessment I guess.

I don't know that I wanted that or even liked that. Generally if I was that unwell, my mind was really not in a good place, and I wouldn't "want" to be in that place. So, no, I never wanted to be so unwell that it rose to that level of concern. It happened though, and it wasn't a pleasant place to be -- not because of their concern, but because of my unwellness.

SummerTime12 · Mar 29, 2020 at 12:40 AM

My therapist has shared that he’s been worried about me on multiple occasions, and I have to admit that it felt good to hear that. It sort of confirmed that he cared.

GeminiNZ · Mar 29, 2020 at 01:44 AM

usually, no (tho' i know he has been). but these are not ordinary times so when he told me in our (FaceTime) tx sesh on thurs that he's worried about me, it made me feel extra cared for and didn't bother me at all. for one, i have pretty severe asthma which puts me at higher risk for complications from COVID-19 so lots of people have been saying they're worried about me; secondly, i'm alone for the entire lockdown (my young person is with their other parent) and while i'm practised at isolating for two or three days when my PTSD is especially bad, this is going to be at least four weeks of being stuck at home by myself. and also, i'm worried about T too. so i'm fine with him being worried about me right now and we've said we'll continue to talk/email about how we're feeling and how to cope with it all.

Mountaindewed · Apr 01, 2020 at 05:48 AM

I like that she’s caring as well.

I told her I had to go in to get a cavity fixed one time and she said “just one right?”

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Do you ever want your therapist to be worried about you?

My Support Forums

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,133 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,749 hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 10:58 AM #1 Do you ever secretly like it when your therapist says she or he is concerned or worried about you? I do. When my therapist asks me about my eating habits or says she was really worried about me the week before or asks me to tell her about some side effect I was having, I’m glad she’s asking. Is anyone else like this? __________________ Ridin' with Biden
	Reply With Quote

CharlieStarDust Member Member Since Oct 2016 Location: Canada Posts: 264 7 16 hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 11:05 AM #2 Absolutely. A few years ago, I was probably at my lowest, and she said she’s concerned about me and that it’s hard for her to see me like that, and she cares. At the time I rebuffed all her intentions. But when I calmed down, it felt very real and genuine, and I miss that feeling.
	Reply With Quote

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 11:57 AM #4 No, not worried about me, but I want them to care about me. And not just in the therapist-y way where they care about everyone but I want them to care about me as a human, as a person, and not just as a client. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
	Reply With Quote

Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 12:24 PM #5 Yes, all the time.
	Reply With Quote

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Mar 27, 2020 at 12:59 PM #6 Oh my god, yes! I want her to be wracked with worry about me!! The more she worries, the more she cares! I want to be her priority, I want to occupy her heart, to be her most loved one. Unfortunately, I think her biggest worry is that she will never see the back of me.
	Reply With Quote

Amandae8787 Member Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Earth Posts: 76 4 45 hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 02:26 PM #8 Yes!! I don’t think she ever worries about me though. She thinks that I soon will cope without her with the support I have from my family and with the skills I’ve learned. I guess I will? I don’t know why I want HER to worry. I don’t tell others how I feel because I don’t want to worry them. I want to protect them.
	Reply With Quote

SoAn Member Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Europe Posts: 120 4 84 hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 07:46 PM #9 My former T: yes, definitely. But also to see me as strong and attractive as a potential partner. My current T: no (there is more distance in this relationship, or perhaps because she's a woman? I have no desire to be 'small/helpless' in her eyes, which I like!)
	Reply With Quote

Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 08:09 PM #10 No, I really don't. And the few times I have detected concern have made me feel intensely uncomfortable.
	Reply With Quote

daisydid Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: the astral plane Posts: 493 5 375 hugs given	Mar 27, 2020 at 11:50 PM #12 I think I do. I’ve had therapists say it to me before and it made me feel like I was seen and heard. I spend the majority of my life gritting my teeth to get through the day and for another human being to see my struggle and acknowledge it means a lot.
	Reply With Quote

Christmas cookie Member Member Since Nov 2019 Location: Mars Posts: 122 4 58 hugs given	Mar 28, 2020 at 09:13 AM #13 Depends on how it comes across. Empathy is important. I have a feeling my current T cares ( his words, actions) . However my spidey senses are telling me he's slightly creepy or has intentions. I'm considering leaving.
	Reply With Quote

SummerTime12 Grand Member Member Since Mar 2013 Location: USA Posts: 876 11 601 hugs given	Mar 29, 2020 at 12:40 AM #15 My therapist has shared that he’s been worried about me on multiple occasions, and I have to admit that it felt good to hear that. It sort of confirmed that he cared.
	Reply With Quote

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,133 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,749 hugs given	Apr 01, 2020 at 05:48 AM #17 I like that she’s caring as well. I told her I had to go in to get a cavity fixed one time and she said “just one right?” __________________ Ridin' with Biden
	Reply With Quote