Couch 215: The Overcoming Couch

If you don't - they can get uppity and try to take liberties.

I regularly complain to each of them about the other. It's abundantly clear to all three of us who my favorite is, though.

The conversation has led me to wonder if T likes me, and I’m thinking of asking him on Tuesday. I know this would only lead to disappointment.

Well my weekend is at an end, my workweek starts tomorrow bright and early so I'm off to bed. Night, couchies.

Can’t sleep, taking Buzzfeed quizzes. Apparently I’m “The Warrior”:

There Are Six Types Of People — What Type Are You?

Sorry you can’t sleep, @@—that’s the worst.

Does it ring true?

Probably the third sentence. The rest, maybe when I was younger.

Apparently, I'm The Thinker.

You're definitely a quiet person, but not necessarily shy. You're just more prone to getting lost in your thoughts than the other personality types. When people engage with you about your interests, however, you could talk for days. When making big decisions, you rely more on your trusty gut (does it "feel right?") than on past experience. You're not one to spend a lot of time writing out a list of pros and cons — when you know, you know.

I got “The Builder:”

Personal fulfillment, for you, comes from being creative. If you're doing work that doesn't flex that creative muscle, you're bored to death and practically useless. And satisfaction doesn't come easily as you hold yourself to an incredibly high standard. When you're supposed to be basking in the glow of a completed project, you're constantly wondering how you could've made it better. It's both a gift and a curse; it's how you're able to constantly raise the bar and improve over time. But it can also be paralyzing and cause you to miss deadlines. Sometimes, you just need to set the bird free.

The part about liking to have a creative project is true but the rest is sort of whatever.

Im a thimker.

Heck on a stick, I’m bored. These night shifts just go on and on.

I finally managed to cry. After a long time of wanting to cry but being too numb. I guess I needed it. It really hurts to see my Mum emotionally parentify my younger brother, and to know my Dad simply discarded me. Not a single word from him. Even hatred and "you'll come crawling back" would mean SOMETHING, a reaction... But nothing. Pure indifference.

I emailed T. Long email while crying my heart out. I hope I don't regret it. She's pretty hit and miss about email.... She types short form, doesn't reply to everything and has told me before that most things I email need to be discussed in session, not email. I mean we could schedule a call but I email because I can write it up while I'm feeling things, you know?

Wow, QM. That seems like an oversight on your T's part.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

QuietMind, i remember those days well. It is very hard, to see that to them, you matter less than their tradition. That in a different culture, this would not even be an issue! Do American parents love their children any less? My parents insisted the answer was yes, or they would never allow independence to happen.

I'm a Protector
"People trust you — they always have — and you've always taken that trust seriously. This is due, in part, to your kind, thoughtful, and respectful nature. Friends, family, and sometimes even unexpected acquaintances seek you out for your signature brand of level-headed thinking and hallmark discretion, and you always try your best to oblige them. The flip side of this is that sometimes you disregard your own needs in lieu of others'. Take better care of yourself!"

I think in reality, I'm a mix of that and The Thinker.

Recently I tried to tell a parent friend that my parents would never want me to become fully independent.

That they were happy to demand a lot of money from me while I worked my crappy IT job without caring about the hardship on me, but would never approve of me moving out, that they refuse to acknowledge my fiance and slander him to me and say that he's cheating on me.

(they are well off, earning more than me still, they have way more in savings etc, they didn't need the money they demanded and my abusive sibling never had to give them anything more than a token sum)

How my dad's own father didn't want my parents to move out (9 of us in ONE flat!) so dad got the unit just below.

I asked "don't parents want their children to become independent adults, even if the empty nest is sad?"

She said of course. But mine rather I be crippled. Independent enough to keep drawing a paycheck they can demand a chunk of, but always cognizant of being useless, unable to survive without them. Unable to leave, always the scapegoat of my father, always the parent to my mother.

My younger brother says Mum cries and begs my brothers not to abandon her like I did. She claims she has no recollection of the decades physical and emotional abuse she did to me precisely to keep me from leaving.

Not a word from my Dad since I'm simply disposable.

I'm a Protector, too. The part about giving more to others than myself is very true.

Saw this and it reminded me of SD:

YouTube

Oh lemon thats hilarious!

I just tried to paint a peony from a Youtube instruction video, and I think it ended up looking a bit like a raw steak or something. May post later after it dries. Ah well, it got me out of my head for a bit. Maybe I need a general flower tutorial and can practice on some of the tiny canvases I got.