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Member
Member Since Apr 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 179
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#1
The first time I saw my T on counselling directory, I just felt she looked like someone who can help.
I had my first appointment with her two years ago, and she was different to all the Ts I have had in the past. She was straight with me, and she didn't flinch when I mentioned things like suicide and self harm. She felt like someone who can handle that pressure. I was right, she has been brilliant. She challenges me, and eventually I started trusting her and thats the first with any T I have had in the past. She is the first I talked anything about past abuse, and the last two years with her I have grown more than I ever did years before. |
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*Beth*, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, precaryous, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
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#2
My first impressions of T’s have mostly been valid.
When I saw current T’s profile and web page I knew I needed to work with him. When he emailed me back I got an “eh” feeling. When he called to schedule I got the feeling that he was cold, distant and rigid so I almost didn’t go. The waiting area was the most comfortable of any T’s I’ve ever been to. When he came out of his office he did a lot of non-verbal things to be non-threatening as he knew I was very scared to be re-entering therapy, especially with a man. As soon as he introduced himself though I knew I was where I needed to be. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Fuzzybear
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Member
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: the astral plane
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#3
I had that feeling with my current T. I wasn’t sure about him when I reached out to him but I felt good about him pretty much immediately in the first session.
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Fuzzybear
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,731
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#4
No. I interviewed over 30 of them and continued to hire the two that seemed the least despicable. The first one ended up being horrible and pointless while the second one was completely pointless but not particularly horrible.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; May 30, 2020 at 12:40 PM.. |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,787
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#5
Definitely. I left those first appointments with the therapists I stayed with feeling like they "got" me right away. I was not incorrect in that impression.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Wales
Posts: 197
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#6
No I didn’t feel that way about any of them. I asked my current T a question in one of our first sessions, and he answered with ‘its personal’ and that almost made me not go back. This doesn’t reflect on him by the way, he is great and I have come to trust him. I know I look for signs that people are trying to hurt me or use me etc in pretty much every relationship so I really have to stick with it and learn to trust. I think this is what I find most difficult with other people in general.
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
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#7
ex-t (who was my 3rd try) - we clicked from that first phone call, and I trusted her pretty quickly with some things I had never spoken of before. That's kind of funny saying that because there were other things that it took me longer before i trusted her enough to talk about. Even though i thought she was a little kooky at my first session, apparently it was just the right brand of kooky! haha. We had our ups & downs and i took breaks here and there, but we always worked things out and came back stronger than before. I'd have to say after seeing her for almost 8 years that i would not go back and choose someone else. I still care a great deal about her and we have been keeping in touch somewhat since we ended therapy 7-8 months ago. On my end anyway, it's been a slow, gradual letting go... & I'm pretty sure she understands that. She made mistakes, she's not perfect, but she was what i needed for a long time. Honestly, I would probably go back at some point just for the dreamwork/self-exploration if I were independently wealthy (she doesn't take insurance and I paid out of pocket).
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
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#8
I had a gut feeling with both T and L. T I knew when I saw her profile on psychology today. However, because I was still hoping to go back to ex-T and because ex-T put T as a middleman, my relationship with T in the beginning was rocky. I actually told her I hated her. But she never gave up on me and we worked through everything. I didn't find L, I was referred to her. After talking to her on the phone, looking her up on psychology today, and after our intake session, I knew I wanted to work with her.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
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#9
In a sense, but not in the way that most people would probably mean. I wanted to argue with her and kept coming back for that in the beginning. To be clear, I am not conflict-averse and I enjoy a good debate or even an argument, so this was not really a negative.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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comrademoomoo
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,714
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#10
I don't click with anyone in this immediate way. I am very slow. I have been working with her for three years and I am still not sure we even like each other.
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
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#11
I saw current T for one session and never wanted to leave. She just got me.
I felt similarly (but in a less intense way) with one former T as well. |
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#12
I had a feeling from seeing my current T's profile and from the way he responded to my email. We had a brief phone conversation to schedule a session, and it felt like something "clicked" then. Though we did have an email exchange early on where I started seriously doubting whether I could work with him, as he came across as a rather arrogant jerk. (That email is what led me to the nickname on here of "Dr. T" because he said I needed to call him Dr. [last name] instead of his first name, among other things.)
We've had a few major conflicts/ruptures, including one that led to me terminating, then going back a few weeks later. But he's helped me more in the 2.5 years I've seen him than ex-T did over 6 years (granted, I do see Dr. T more frequently). So I still stand by my intiial impression, where I just had this feeling that he could help me. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
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#13
I would have to say no. I knew they were both nice people but I was couldn't trust them so it took me a while to feel like they were the right ones.
The T I saw once I knew she was all wrong but worried that I was judging her wrongly because of comparing her to T. T told me she totally agreed with my intial thoughts. She encouraged me to cancel the 2nd appointment I had scheduled. I wanted to cancel with current T because she was too nice and in many other ways totally unlike T. Long term T convinced me that based on all the communication I had with the new T and a phone call between the two of them, she thought we would be a perfect fit. So I decided to give her a chance. __________________ Last edited by nottrustin; May 30, 2020 at 03:04 PM.. |
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#14
Yes, I did. My first appointment i just felt like it was a good match. And, we talked for three hours the first appointment because she was busy getting to know me. Of course years later I realize thats how she is, we dont have 55 minute appointments, they usually last 2 or 3 hours. Lately we have been spending entire days together. She and I just click.
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 264
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#15
Yup, I knew from the moment I saw her profile online that she was right for me. Our first session confirmed it. I have been with her for many years.
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
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#16
I would say yes because I know that now my therapist is the right one to help me with my unique set of problems. She is experienced, caring, understanding, patient, and kind, and knows how to help me with my set of problems. This has proven to be the most useful set of criteria to evaluate a therapist for me, personally. But for others the criteria may be different.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
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#17
I get that way at first. But then things start happening that make me go “wait a second.” These last two therapists have seemed different from the rest I’ve had. Especially the current one. I think I’ve clicked with her. I still have quite a hard time telling her certain things though. She’s just so business like. If you know what I mean.
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*Beth*
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#18
The first time I saw EMDR T (current T) she seemed sicky sweet. When I talked about happy things like my amazing husband and children, etc, she kept saying saying isn't that lovely. Wasn't sure I could handle it but long term was impressed with all the contact we had leading up to the appointment. She said it showed she cared about clients. Then they had a phone conversation about me. Again long term to encouraged me to give EMDR a chance. Never imagined just how important EMDR T would become.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#19
Yes with former T. Regular T is maybe getting there but we aren't there yet. None with my other T's.
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#20
Quote:
If you feel like explaining a bit, I'm curious. What about your therapists was horrible/pointless and horrible? __________________ |
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Fuzzybear
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