Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Mountaindewed · Aug 12, 2020 at 08:22 PM

I’ve heard some bad stuff about the vacation destination your going to this week and that’s one of the reasons my family member who live there told my mom and I to pull out ourself for our Labor Day trip there. I didn’t want to scare you though. I’m honestly very scared about your health though.

kaleidoscopeheart · Aug 12, 2020 at 09:10 PM

Dear T,

Thank you for replying to my email, but I would feel better if I could see you to know you were ok. *sigh* I hate that my appointment today was cancelled and the next week is going to really suck.

Lemoncake · Aug 13, 2020 at 03:30 AM

I'm surprised he lasted 13 days . Deep down I already knew my father being nice to me wouldn't last. Crying in my sister's room because I am hurt.

Four days left to my flight back....

Zero messages to you. I don't feel safe.

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 13, 2020 at 08:27 AM

I honestly didn't expect to cry so much today.
The aftermath of this one's going to be Quite Something.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 13, 2020 at 10:00 PM

i'd been looking forward to talking tomorrow morning but now.... not so much... wondering what the point even is to reading you this stuff I wrote... it's so all-fired embarrassing although what's funny about that is you likely figured this out a long *** time ago so if you already know it, why's it embarrassing now?!

puzzclar · Aug 13, 2020 at 10:26 PM

What a boring day!!!! I'm so over it. Spent my work shift watching TV. Yes I know I got paid but I couldn't do my job. It makes me want to quit. I'm there for a reason, so please let me do my job person!!!

I'm drained. I had an appointment with med provider and I didn't say what I wanted too. I hate virtual visits when family is here. I hav so much to talk about and I feel like I can't! I'm just so over today. And I'm mad that I couldn't say what I wanted/needed to. I need to vent!! I have a lot to do and I'm very distracted tonight. I need a reset.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 13, 2020 at 10:27 PM

...it also doesn't help one bit that Little Artie was watching the storm earlier and wishing she could sit with you and watch it. Sigh. Silly Little Artie.

It's her that wants to see a flower in your hair, you know. Yep, silly Little Artie.

WastingAsparagus · Aug 13, 2020 at 10:40 PM

I hope you're not mad at me for dropping out of grad school. That is all.

Victoria'smom · Aug 13, 2020 at 10:59 PM

**** YOU.... I downplay.... I don't exaggerate!

atisketatasket · Aug 14, 2020 at 12:21 AM

Dear Info,

It’s like everyone focuses on the cat and not me. But she’s fine now. I am not okay.

ATAT

iheartjacques · Aug 14, 2020 at 09:02 AM

It’s been 3.5 years since I last saw you. Most of the time I’m okay. But I saw a new photo of you at work on social media. Your hair is so silver now. You only had a few flecks back then. And we’re the same age. I miss you a lot. I’ve still made some dumb decisions but trying to get most things right.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 14, 2020 at 09:37 AM

23 minutes and counting. Major tummy butterflies. Be gentle, warm T today. Leave Authoritarian T in bed today, please. And Little Artie still wishes you'd wear a flower in your hair and she won't let that go.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 14, 2020 at 01:02 PM

Dear T,
I imagine it was incredibly telling that I apologized to you for "whining" about the physical pain I'm in right now. If that doesn't encapsulate some stuff about lessons I was taught during childhood... Thanks for being empathetic. I will look into the Aleve and whether I might not have an issue with that despite being allergic to ibuprofen.
Love,
LT

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 14, 2020 at 01:42 PM

how can i ever even begin to thank you for being so patient with me?!

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 14, 2020 at 02:18 PM

Frustrating news today - turns out my support worker wasn't exactly wrong, just a week ahead of schedule.
Masks and visors from Monday.

Lemoncake · Aug 14, 2020 at 02:23 PM

Had a nightmare last night and I was talking in my sleep. Woke up to my little sister comforting me in bed. I feel like she's grown up so much without me here.

I just feel low and sad.

Flight in 3 days.
First day of school in 9 days.

puzzclar · Aug 14, 2020 at 04:06 PM

I'm beyond frustrated, and angry. A lot has come up and I wish this was an office visit today!!! Instead we have to deal with virtual I'm on edge right now. I'm trying to deal with family in town and an unsafe environment, not physically just emotionally. I want to scream then run!!! I had a lot of road rage today. I'm mad at the world! Work is tipping me more in the edge. I need a relief!!!! Yet when we talk at 6, I may not have privacy. And this I feel could be a difficult session.

chihirochild · Aug 14, 2020 at 04:32 PM

Dear T,

Okay. You help me realize that I don't want to go camping with my BF who may or may not give a crap about me and all his buddies who I don't know. Because you feel protective of me and think I deserve better. I decide not to go, at the very last possible minute. I email you about it. And... silence.

See, this is the thing. Being with a guy who may not see a future with me sucks, but it's better than silence.

-c

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 14, 2020 at 05:19 PM

Yeesh that was so embarrassing this morning reading that stuff to you. I think I was right though about how I needed to tie all that stuff together in order to heal that bit, precisely because it was so complicated. It had to be complete, before it could heal. Partway wasn't enough. I can hold Little Artie tight now as we heal that part together.

Jessica Hazlitt · Aug 14, 2020 at 06:42 PM

Going through another phase of missing you to the point of it being intrusive. Not just the company but the work too. I've lost so much this year and it's been so stressful. I'd like so much to come talk with you, my head on your back & holding the bottom of your jumper. I'm in desperate need of some comforting quiet safe space.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,088 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,728 hugs given	Aug 12, 2020 at 08:22 PM #581 I’ve heard some bad stuff about the vacation destination your going to this week and that’s one of the reasons my family member who live there told my mom and I to pull out ourself for our Labor Day trip there. I didn’t want to scare you though. I’m honestly very scared about your health though. __________________ Ridin' with Biden

kaleidoscopeheart Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: Parts Unknown Posts: 333 7 77 hugs given	Aug 12, 2020 at 09:10 PM #582 Dear T, Thank you for replying to my email, but I would feel better if I could see you to know you were ok. sigh I hate that my appointment today was cancelled and the next week is going to really suck.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,685 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 13, 2020 at 03:30 AM #583 I'm surprised he lasted 13 days . Deep down I already knew my father being nice to me wouldn't last. Crying in my sister's room because I am hurt. Four days left to my flight back.... Zero messages to you. I don't feel safe. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,211 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,750 hugs given	Aug 13, 2020 at 10:00 PM #585 i'd been looking forward to talking tomorrow morning but now.... not so much... wondering what the point even is to reading you this stuff I wrote... it's so all-fired embarrassing although what's funny about that is you likely figured this out a long *** time ago so if you already know it, why's it embarrassing now?!

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,211 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,750 hugs given	Aug 13, 2020 at 10:27 PM #587 ...it also doesn't help one bit that Little Artie was watching the storm earlier and wishing she could sit with you and watch it. Sigh. Silly Little Artie. It's her that wants to see a flower in your hair, you know. Yep, silly Little Artie.

WastingAsparagus Student of Life Member Since Mar 2014 Location: South America Posts: 4,657 10 2,911 hugs given	Aug 13, 2020 at 10:40 PM #588 I hope you're not mad at me for dropping out of grad school. That is all. __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 14,897 (SuperPoster!) 11 5,425 hugs given	Aug 13, 2020 at 10:59 PM #589 ** YOU.... I downplay.... I don't exaggerate! __________________ Dx: Me- SzA** Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,143 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 12:21 AM #590 Dear Info, It’s like everyone focuses on the cat and not me. But she’s fine now. I am not okay. ATAT

iheartjacques Magnate Member Since Apr 2014 Location: world Posts: 2,162 9 350 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 09:02 AM #591 It’s been 3.5 years since I last saw you. Most of the time I’m okay. But I saw a new photo of you at work on social media. Your hair is so silver now. You only had a few flecks back then. And we’re the same age. I miss you a lot. I’ve still made some dumb decisions but trying to get most things right.

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,211 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,750 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 09:37 AM #592 23 minutes and counting. Major tummy butterflies. Be gentle, warm T today. Leave Authoritarian T in bed today, please. And Little Artie still wishes you'd wear a flower in your hair and she won't let that go.

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,727 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 01:02 PM #593 Dear T, I imagine it was incredibly telling that I apologized to you for "whining" about the physical pain I'm in right now. If that doesn't encapsulate some stuff about lessons I was taught during childhood... Thanks for being empathetic. I will look into the Aleve and whether I might not have an issue with that despite being allergic to ibuprofen. Love, LT

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,211 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,750 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 01:42 PM #594 how can i ever even begin to thank you for being so patient with me?!

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,685 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 02:23 PM #596 Had a nightmare last night and I was talking in my sleep. Woke up to my little sister comforting me in bed. I feel like she's grown up so much without me here. I just feel low and sad. Flight in 3 days. First day of school in 9 days. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,211 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,750 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 05:19 PM #599 Yeesh that was so embarrassing this morning reading that stuff to you. I think I was right though about how I needed to tie all that stuff together in order to heal that bit, precisely because it was so complicated. It had to be complete, before it could heal. Partway wasn't enough. I can hold Little Artie tight now as we heal that part together.

Jessica Hazlitt Member Member Since Sep 2014 Location: UK Posts: 394 9 25 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 06:42 PM #600 Going through another phase of missing you to the point of it being intrusive. Not just the company but the work too. I've lost so much this year and it's been so stressful. I'd like so much to come talk with you, my head on your back & holding the bottom of your jumper. I'm in desperate need of some comforting quiet safe space.