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Old 09-16-2020, 08:37 AM   #871
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Thank you for replying to one email, T. I appreciate it.
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Old 09-16-2020, 09:49 AM   #872
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

I am so Łucking tired of hearing that I am difficult. I know that, I live it. I don't need to hear it on repeat from you. I feel shame. I don't want you near me. Why were you so persistent about meeting up? I told you I didn't care that much about it. And why did we spend 25 minutes talking about using the camera when I have explained repeatedly and politely that I don't want to do that? It's not my fault that you are too stupid to understand. You were so loving before you went away. You must have left your heart on holiday.
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Old 09-16-2020, 01:10 PM   #873
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV



I didn't take the appointment you offered which I asked for- during my anxiety attack on monday, because I can't do it. The idea of seeing you makes me too nervous .

I don't think I will me emailing the other T back either. I can't open up to somebody new right now.

If I get back to having suicidal feelings then I will.
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Old 09-16-2020, 02:19 PM   #874
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Now I want to email back.

Just going to leave it.

What is wrong with me?

P.s none of my old best friends said happy birthday without facebook there to remind them. Just my sisters and my brother= think that says it all.

p.p.s it also wasn't okay to call me melodramatic.
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Last edited by Lemoncake; 09-16-2020 at 02:41 PM..
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Old 09-16-2020, 02:42 PM   #875
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Possible trigger:
it's not that long, for goodness sake. but i've never done anything like this before either, even when i've had the flu or something. how odd. i'm just SO stressed over this audit, and h and cat both being sick. i know i'm going to have to or i won't be able to continue focusing on work and school. and how can i take care of h and cat if i don't take care of myself? I was doing SO well before this latest thing. Damn damn damn.

Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; 09-16-2020 at 02:55 PM..
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Old 09-16-2020, 02:43 PM   #876
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
Now I want to email back.

Just going to leave it.

What is wrong with me?

P.s none of my old best friends said happy birthday without facebook there to remind them. Just my sisters and my brother= think that says it all.

p.p.s it also wasn't okay to call me melodramatic.

happy birthday dear lemon.


and oh i hated it when L said I love my drama. sorry he called you melodramatic. we're hurting. we're not drama queens. there's a difference.
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Old 09-16-2020, 02:57 PM   #877
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

are you double-triple-quadruple sure it's ok for me to come in there today? i feel like calling you to verify. you would call me or text if you'd changed your mind, wouldn't you?? surely you would. i can just drive there and ask from my car if it's still ok and if it's not i will just sit in my car and call you from there and we can do a phone session. from my car would be private enough and it won't be zoom but at least i'd get to see you when you open the door.
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Old 09-16-2020, 03:15 PM   #878
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
happy birthday dear lemon.


and oh i hated it when L said I love my drama. sorry he called you melodramatic. we're hurting. we're not drama queens. there's a difference.
:

Thank you Artie bean.

I honestly do love you.
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Feel the thrill of the flow
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Old 09-16-2020, 03:50 PM   #879
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal View Post
Possible trigger:
it's not that long, for goodness sake. but i've never done anything like this before either, even when i've had the flu or something. how odd. i'm just SO stressed over this audit, and h and cat both being sick. i know i'm going to have to or i won't be able to continue focusing on work and school. and how can i take care of h and cat if i don't take care of myself? I was doing SO well before this latest thing. Damn damn damn.


Maybe you could get some meal replacement/ protein shakes for yourself to make sure you're still getting something into you even if you don't feel like eating.
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Feel the thrill of the flow
And say nothing."

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Old 09-16-2020, 03:59 PM   #880
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

I really miss you, and how much you cared for me...
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