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Default Jul 05, 2020 at 12:53 PM
  #281
I have so much too work for and I'm fighting the changes. I need to figure out a self care morning routine.
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Default Jul 05, 2020 at 10:10 PM
  #282
I’m not ok. I don’t wanna be here anymore, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I feel worthless though, so would I really be hurting anyone by disappearing?
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 04:37 AM
  #283
Ok I was wrong. Sorry.

Last edited by MissUdy; Jul 06, 2020 at 07:41 AM..
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 06:17 AM
  #284
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Originally Posted by SummerTime12 View Post
I’m not ok. I don’t wanna be here anymore, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I feel worthless though, so would I really be hurting anyone by disappearing?


You still have value even if you can't feel it yourself.

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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 10:05 AM
  #285
I feel resentment towards God, and all those that have hurt me, and those that have the potential to burn me. And I then I push people away, keeping them at arms length, not letting them know the real me. I don't even know the real me. I've even pushed myself away. I know it's possible to recover. But I need to work through the resentment to feel recovery. I'm not sure how to let people in, I feel like I haven't done it for 25 years, and I'm 32. I struggled growing up, because I resented my parents for making me move away from extended family and friends. I felt lost, and I lost out on opportunities to make connections. Help me!
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 01:18 PM
  #286
well, well, well. apparently i was ready to hear everything you said last week. i will be ready to discuss much on the 15th.

Last edited by ArtieTheSequal; Jul 06, 2020 at 01:43 PM..
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 04:25 PM
  #287
you gave me a **** ton to think about you know lol
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 05:27 PM
  #288
I hate your guts.

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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 05:35 PM
  #289
Guilt is here. Guilt is hard.

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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 05:56 PM
  #290
Dear T,
I'm pretty sure you were crying again today. Wiping multiple tears, it seemed. I generally look away then, like to try to give you privacy, pretending I didn't notice. But I looked at you for a moment today as you wiped what I presume was a tear. It felt we connected for a moment there, even though neither of us said anything. And then we went on to talking about other things. But I felt it, the empathy. And it wasn't like you were really trying to hide it. It was like you let me see you, for a moment.

Love,
LT
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Default Jul 07, 2020 at 01:08 AM
  #291
2 hours and 22 mins to go.

I hope you bring an umbrella.


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Default Jul 07, 2020 at 07:57 AM
  #292
i kept trying to talk to you in my head last night to tell you something and my mind kept wandering and i'd try again and next thing i knew it was morning. hmm.
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Default Jul 07, 2020 at 11:50 AM
  #293
Dear T. I need you today. I talk to you Saturday. I'm sure I'll be fine until then. My mood is low. My energy level is low. I feel particularly crappy. We are back to furloughing two days a week. Sigh. I don't want to be furloughed. I was feeling crappy even before that. Now I'm just crappy and worried. Well the Xanax is helping with the anxiety. I just want everything to stop hurting. Please. Make it stop. Hug Kit

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Default Jul 07, 2020 at 07:24 PM
  #294
I know the hospital wouldn’t be a bad place safety wise right now. But I think I can sleep and then skip my Wellbutrin and call my doctor in the morning. I swear I can make it through the night.

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Default Jul 07, 2020 at 08:33 PM
  #295
Ugh. These damn thoughts and feelings why couldnt I show them today during our appointment? Why do we stir them up a bit but I can't allow them until after our appointment ends?

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Attention Jul 07, 2020 at 09:00 PM
  #296
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
Anything you would like to say to your therapist, big or small... post it here.
I am new here and am unsure I am doing this correctly.
I would like to tell my therapist that I am unable to put into words what I doing at each meeting we have, because I feel like I am a different person everytime I see him.
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Default Jul 08, 2020 at 11:07 AM
  #297
80% likely I'll see you tomorrow.

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Default Jul 08, 2020 at 11:49 AM
  #298
I "see" you in 15 minutes. and we can talk about anything, as I'm the only one home. But I'm also at risk for addictive behaviors. I need to plan what I am doing today. But I'm holding myself back. Why?? I blame it on lack of sleep and exhaustion. But I know if I want to stay away from those behaviors I have to do something big to prevent them.

As I am the ONLY person that can stop. T (You) can't do it for me, NO one can.
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Default Jul 08, 2020 at 12:24 PM
  #299
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Originally Posted by Startingagain View Post
I am new here and am unsure I am doing this correctly.
I would like to tell my therapist that I am unable to put into words what I doing at each meeting we have, because I feel like I am a different person everytime I see him.


You're doing it right.

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Default Jul 08, 2020 at 12:43 PM
  #300
How the hell did I get to the point where I'm scared I'm going to cry every session?

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