Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

Lemoncake · Sep 15, 2020 at 10:48 AM

I'm feeling a bit better and not as bad as yesterday.

The second class with the doctor wasn't as bad as I imagined in my head. Still have another session with her tomorrow.The guy I like was also there and he helped go through the ECGs with me. He later asked if we were okay. I haven't been going down to have lunch with the others during the break. I told him that I was struggling with my depression and I needed quiet time . He was cute and said I had people who cared about me.

I actually emailed a new T- but he's only got sessions available in the mornings.

LonesomeTonight · Sep 15, 2020 at 11:14 AM

Dear T,
Nervous about today's session...please be caring and not defensive, OK?
Love,
LT

Mountaindewed · Sep 15, 2020 at 11:53 AM

My brother goes back to seeing his therapist in person today. Every session will be in person. Yet I’m still getting the run around and your saying “maybe” one or 2 in person sessions this YEAR. What the actual ****?

SlumberKitty · Sep 15, 2020 at 01:14 PM

Dear T: Thanks for being lovely. I'm not trying to be difficult by not journaling. Maybe I'm just lazy. I feel better that you said it can just be a word or two.
Love you

Kit

comrademoomoo · Sep 15, 2020 at 01:46 PM

10 hours 20 minutes until the first return-after-your-holiday session. I am not prepared! I had planned on oodles of reflection, journaling, self-care, somatic work, insightful realisations, amazing awareness, intra personal growth. I had planned on being the best client ever upon your return! Instead I spent the time getting drunk and avoiding everything like an avoidant old drunk. This must be your fault. Anyway, 10 hours 15 minutes now! I have missed you, but I won't tell you.

LonesomeTonight · Sep 15, 2020 at 02:57 PM

Dear T,
Thank you. I understand more now. And I'm glad we finally got to talk about your fluffy white dog.
Love you,
LT

Merope · Sep 15, 2020 at 03:05 PM

I think you must probably hate me by now.

Mountaindewed · Sep 15, 2020 at 06:12 PM

I was at the doctors yesterday and they had the Kelly Clarkson Show on. I rarely get turned on by people. But she was smoking yesterday and it made me feel weird because I don’t feel that way about people. And I don’t know if I should tell you because I’m worried you’ll think I like you. Honestly sometimes I do think your hot but I’m really just turned on by objects. So I don’t know....

Echos Myron redux · Sep 16, 2020 at 01:11 AM

I'm actually going to see your face today! That's if my car makes it... i prolly shouldn't be driving it so far...

Lemoncake · Sep 16, 2020 at 06:13 AM

The lesson I was dreading with the teacher I didn't like ended up being really good the same as yesterday. I was just scared of getting things wrong and looking like an idiot but it was okay there were lots of things the others didn't know either.

I was going through my labs with the guy I like who is the smartest in our year. I changed my answer to what he had said when we discussed it but I was actually right

You've offered a session on friday which haven't accepted yet. Possible new T F said that he could also do tuesday afternoons. I get a good vibe from him and also noticed that he's been able to pick up on using the nickname I send emails to and replies very quickly to emails.

Quietmind 2 · Sep 16, 2020 at 07:37 AM

Thank you for replying to one email, T. I appreciate it.

comrademoomoo · Sep 16, 2020 at 08:49 AM

I am so £ucking tired of hearing that I am difficult. I know that, I live it. I don't need to hear it on repeat from you. I feel shame. I don't want you near me. Why were you so persistent about meeting up? I told you I didn't care that much about it. And why did we spend 25 minutes talking about using the camera when I have explained repeatedly and politely that I don't want to do that? It's not my fault that you are too stupid to understand. You were so loving before you went away. You must have left your heart on holiday.

Lemoncake · Sep 16, 2020 at 12:10 PM

I didn't take the appointment you offered which I asked for- during my anxiety attack on monday, because I can't do it. The idea of seeing you makes me too nervous .

I don't think I will me emailing the other T back either. I can't open up to somebody new right now.

If I get back to having suicidal feelings then I will.

Lemoncake · 01:41 PM

Now I want to email back.

Just going to leave it.

What is wrong with me?

P.s none of my old best friends said happy birthday without facebook there to remind them. Just my sisters and my brother= think that says it all.

p.p.s it also wasn't okay to call me melodramatic.

ArtieTheSequal · 01:55 PM

Possible trigger:

i haven't eaten anything since sunday, and i honestly don't want to. i want to tell you but i also don't want to.

it's not that long, for goodness sake. but i've never done anything like this before either, even when i've had the flu or something. how odd. i'm just SO stressed over this audit, and h and cat both being sick. i know i'm going to have to or i won't be able to continue focusing on work and school. and how can i take care of h and cat if i don't take care of myself? I was doing SO well before this latest thing. Damn damn damn.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 16, 2020 at 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Now I want to email back.

Just going to leave it.

What is wrong with me?

P.s none of my old best friends said happy birthday without facebook there to remind them. Just my sisters and my brother= think that says it all.

p.p.s it also wasn't okay to call me melodramatic.

happy birthday dear lemon.

and oh i hated it when L said I love my drama. sorry he called you melodramatic. we're hurting. we're not drama queens. there's a difference.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 16, 2020 at 01:57 PM

are you double-triple-quadruple sure it's ok for me to come in there today? i feel like calling you to verify. you would call me or text if you'd changed your mind, wouldn't you?? surely you would. i can just drive there and ask from my car if it's still ok and if it's not i will just sit in my car and call you from there and we can do a phone session. from my car would be private enough and it won't be zoom but at least i'd get to see you when you open the door.

Lemoncake · Sep 16, 2020 at 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

happy birthday dear lemon.

and oh i hated it when L said I love my drama. sorry he called you melodramatic. we're hurting. we're not drama queens. there's a difference.

:

Thank you Artie bean.

I honestly do love you.

Lemoncake · Sep 16, 2020 at 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Possible trigger:

i haven't eaten anything since sunday, and i honestly don't want to. i want to tell you but i also don't want to.

it's not that long, for goodness sake. but i've never done anything like this before either, even when i've had the flu or something. how odd. i'm just SO stressed over this audit, and h and cat both being sick. i know i'm going to have to or i won't be able to continue focusing on work and school. and how can i take care of h and cat if i don't take care of myself? I was doing SO well before this latest thing. Damn damn damn.

Maybe you could get some meal replacement/ protein shakes for yourself to make sure you're still getting something into you even if you don't feel like eating.

stahrgeyzer · Sep 16, 2020 at 02:59 PM

I really miss you, and how much you cared for me...

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLIV

My Support Forums

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,727 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 11:14 AM #862 Dear T, Nervous about today's session...please be caring and not defensive, OK? Love, LT

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,085 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,725 hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 11:53 AM #863 My brother goes back to seeing his therapist in person today. Every session will be in person. Yet I’m still getting the run around and your saying “maybe” one or 2 in person sessions this YEAR. What the actual ****? __________________ Ridin' with Biden

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 01:14 PM #864 Dear T: Thanks for being lovely. I'm not trying to be difficult by not journaling. Maybe I'm just lazy. I feel better that you said it can just be a word or two. Love you Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

LonesomeTonight Always in This Twilight Member Since Feb 2015 Location: US Posts: 20,727 (SuperPoster!) 9 74.9k hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 02:57 PM #866 Dear T, Thank you. I understand more now. And I'm glad we finally got to talk about your fluffy white dog. Love you, LT

Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Sep 15, 2020 at 03:05 PM #867 I think you must probably hate me by now.

Echos Myron redux Magnate Member Since Apr 2018 Location: UK Posts: 2,157 6 1,833 hugs given	Sep 16, 2020 at 01:11 AM #869 I'm actually going to see your face today! That's if my car makes it... i prolly shouldn't be driving it so far...

Quietmind 2 Poohbah Member Since Jan 2020 Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave Posts: 1,243 4 8 hugs given	Sep 16, 2020 at 07:37 AM #871 Thank you for replying to one email, T. I appreciate it.

stahrgeyzer Magnate Member Since Feb 2018 Location: southern california Posts: 2,307 6 5,643 hugs given	Sep 16, 2020 at 02:59 PM #880 I really miss you, and how much you cared for me...