Is there something malicious about my T?

Mountaindewed · Jun 16, 2020 at 05:32 PM

I know this sounds silly, but I read this book a few years ago called The Sociopath Next Door and a lot of the stuff I read kinda fits my T. I mentioned some things she’s done in another thread of mine but today she did something else that was bizarre.

She said to me today “Your insurance called, and they want to talk to me, so I’m going to call them tomorrow, but I don’t want you to worry about it.”

Ok, then Why not wait until AFTER you call the insurance company to tell me you had talked to them? She knows how bad my anxiety is and how badly I stress over things like this. She literally needed zero information from me. All she did was spark anxiety. Plus she told me right at the start of my session so I shut down for the whole thing.

Does anyone else find this odd? I didn’t even think much about it until my mom said “I don’t know why she’s telling you that.”

Omers · Jun 16, 2020 at 05:38 PM

Personally I like to give most people the benefit of the doubt and just assume they are stupid. At the very least she, IMO, she is working hard to prove she has no business being a T.

NP_Complete · Jun 16, 2020 at 06:27 PM

As far as I know, my therapist always tells me when he's gotten notification that he needs to talk my insurance company into continuing our sessions. Sounds like she's keeping everything out in the open about what's going on. Would you feel better if they had already talked and there was a problem and you knew nothing about it?

*Beth* · Jun 16, 2020 at 07:55 PM

It's my humble opinion that every human being on the face of the planet is completely unglued at this time. I'm serious.

I suppose it is considered "proper business" to let you know about your insurance contacting her. But then...isn't therapy supposed to reduce stress?

Frankly, I'm beginning to wonder.

Md I definitely encourage you to discuss these subjects of late with your therapist. Truthfully, she may not be aware of her behaviors.

Omers · Jun 16, 2020 at 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

It's my humble opinion that every human being on the face of the planet is completely unglued at this time. I'm serious.

This ^^^^^ 100% this!

susannahsays · Jun 16, 2020 at 09:20 PM

Because some people might be pissed off if they found out after the fact that their therapist had some sort of consultation with their insurance company and didn't tell them about it. I would find it patronizing if a therapist didn't tell me if there might be an issue and she had to talk to my insurance company simply because she's aware telling me might cause me anxiety.

Sounds like she's just being upfront about it.

*Beth* · Jun 16, 2020 at 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

Because some people might be pissed off if they found out after the fact that their therapist had some sort of consultation with their insurance company and didn't tell them about it. I would find it patronizing if a therapist didn't tell me if there might be an issue and she had to talk to my insurance company simply because she's aware telling me might cause me anxiety.

Sounds like she's just being upfront about it.

I agree.

ArtleyWilkins · Jun 16, 2020 at 11:13 PM

Sounds pretty normal to me. About once a year my therapist let me know that he was contacted by insurance just to confirm need for continuation of services. It is a normal business process with insurance, and I think your T is just letting you know in advance that it will be happening but that it is very routine.

Amyjay · Jun 17, 2020 at 04:54 AM

My T always tells me when she has needed to have contact with the insurance people. Maybe some T's think its good practise to be upfront about that.

Rive. · Jun 17, 2020 at 06:42 AM

I don't see anything malicious in that. She wanted to keep you informed rather than go behind your back to talk to your insurance. She did the ethical and professional thing here.

I would also be wary of diagnosing other people from reading books or whatnot. It's a bit of a far reach to diagnose your T as a sociopath as a result.

nottrustin · Jun 17, 2020 at 07:04 AM

My T always tells me about anytime she talks to anybody else about me. If it is something that is planned, she tells me ahead of time. She believes in being completely transparent and disclosing this type of thing.

comrademoomoo · Jun 17, 2020 at 12:51 PM

It is strange to me that you are tempted to describe your therapist's behaviour in such extreme ways. Sociopath and malicious are very dark words to use when what I read are descriptions of normal and mundane behaviours - in this case, even professional and transparent. Have you given any thought as to what is driving you to want to suspect your therapist of carrying out nefarious acts? I am often keen to see my therapist as being unboundaried and out of control. Sometimes she is, but sometimes my understanding of her behaviour is one of my projections about myself - my fear of being out of control. Maybe something like this is happening (I am not suggesting you are projecting your sociopathic desires onto her!).

Shotokan · Jun 17, 2020 at 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I know this sounds silly, but I read this book a few years ago called The Sociopath Next Door and a lot of the stuff I read kinda fits my T. I mentioned some things she’s done in another thread of mine but today she did something else that was bizarre.

She said to me today “Your insurance called, and they want to talk to me, so I’m going to call them tomorrow, but I don’t want you to worry about it.”

Ok, then Why not wait until AFTER you call the insurance company to tell me you had talked to them? She knows how bad my anxiety is and how badly I stress over things like this. She literally needed zero information from me. All she did was spark anxiety. Plus she told me right at the start of my session so I shut down for the whole thing.

Does anyone else find this odd? I didn’t even think much about it until my mom said “I don’t know why she’s telling you that.”

I think there is nothing to worry about. I'd be greatful that she informs you when anyone contacts her about you.

Jun 17, 2020 at 09:26 PM

That doesnt sound odd at all to me, but i dont know your therapist.

Salmon77 · Jun 18, 2020 at 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

It is strange to me that you are tempted to describe your therapist's behaviour in such extreme ways. Sociopath and malicious are very dark words to use when what I read are descriptions of normal and mundane behaviours - in this case, even professional and transparent. Have you given any thought as to what is driving you to want to suspect your therapist of carrying out nefarious acts? I am often keen to see my therapist as being unboundaried and out of control. Sometimes she is, but sometimes my understanding of her behaviour is one of my projections about myself - my fear of being out of control. Maybe something like this is happening (I am not suggesting you are projecting your sociopathic desires onto her!).

I have to agree, I've seen several posts from you (Mountaindewed) questioning whether your T has evil intentions towards you, based on behavior that seems pretty normal to me (if not always ideal). Might be good to spend some time thinking/talking about why you distrust her so much, whether that distrust might be something that's coming from you, rather than what she's doing.

Bill3 · Jun 19, 2020 at 12:07 PM

I think that a good T, when deciding on the timing of sharing information with a client, will consider (among other things) the effect of that timing on the client.

Here, for example, OP says that the session was ruined for her because she was told something anxiety-provoking at the beginning of the session.

I think it is reasonable to ask whether T might have handled things differently, and better.

comrademoomoo · Jun 19, 2020 at 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

I think it is reasonable to ask whether T might have handled things differently, and better.

Asking that reasonable question is a world apart from wondering whether the therapist is a sociopath.

nottrustin · Jun 19, 2020 at 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

I think that a good T, when deciding on the timing of sharing information with a client, will consider (among other things) the effect of that timing on the client.

Here, for example, OP says that the session was ruined for her because she was told something anxiety-provoking at the beginning of the session.

I think it is reasonable to ask whether T might have handled things differently, and better.

I think it is very reasonable to ask the T not to share such things in a session.

Gettingitsoon · Jun 21, 2020 at 11:24 AM

I'd prefer my T share something like this at the beginning of my session so there would be time to discuss it if i wanted to. I would not like to learn something possibly upsetting when Im leaving. Thats just how my mind works.

Mountaindewed · Jun 23, 2020 at 04:00 PM

T and I were talking today about something random and she said “I can sometimes get really angry and I can get sometimes get really mean, but I don’t take it out on clients.”

At least today was good.

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Is there something malicious about my T?

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Omers Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2010 Location: Crimson cattery Posts: 3,512 13 3,133 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 05:38 PM #2 Personally I like to give most people the benefit of the doubt and just assume they are stupid. At the very least she, IMO, she is working hard to prove she has no business being a T. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night
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NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,808 7 6,355 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 06:27 PM #3 As far as I know, my therapist always tells me when he's gotten notification that he needs to talk my insurance company into continuing our sessions. Sounds like she's keeping everything out in the open about what's going on. Would you feel better if they had already talked and there was a problem and you knew nothing about it?
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 11:13 PM #8 Sounds pretty normal to me. About once a year my therapist let me know that he was contacted by insurance just to confirm need for continuation of services. It is a normal business process with insurance, and I think your T is just letting you know in advance that it will be happening but that it is very routine.
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Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 04:54 AM #9 My T always tells me when she has needed to have contact with the insurance people. Maybe some T's think its good practise to be upfront about that.
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,014 10	Jun 17, 2020 at 06:42 AM #10 I don't see anything malicious in that. She wanted to keep you informed rather than go behind your back to talk to your insurance. She did the ethical and professional thing here. I would also be wary of diagnosing other people from reading books or whatnot. It's a bit of a far reach to diagnose your T as a sociopath as a result.
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nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Jun 17, 2020 at 07:04 AM #11 My T always tells me about anytime she talks to anybody else about me. If it is something that is planned, she tells me ahead of time. She believes in being completely transparent and disclosing this type of thing. __________________
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Anonymous47147 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 17, 2020 at 09:26 PM #14 That doesnt sound odd at all to me, but i dont know your therapist.
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Gettingitsoon Member Member Since Feb 2016 Location: Usa Posts: 160 8 22 hugs given	Jun 21, 2020 at 11:24 AM #19 I'd prefer my T share something like this at the beginning of my session so there would be time to discuss it if i wanted to. I would not like to learn something possibly upsetting when Im leaving. Thats just how my mind works.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,225 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,779 hugs given	Jun 23, 2020 at 04:00 PM #20 T and I were talking today about something random and she said “I can sometimes get really angry and I can get sometimes get really mean, but I don’t take it out on clients.” At least today was good. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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