Therapy in the Time of Pandemic

I'm posting this to discuss how we're feeling about therapy during this time. Disadvantages? Advantages?

For those doing teletherapy how does it feel to see your T only from the shoulders up, and how do you feel being seen that way? Miss handshakes or hugs...are there details you miss about your T's office?

If there's anyone doing therapy in person are you and your therapist wearing masks...how is it?

Do you feel like a pioneer doing therapy now, or do you feel cheated?

I'd really like to know how therapy is going for you during this pandemic.

I have been having therapy in person. We don’t wear masks or anything, he never touched me anyway so I suppose I can’t miss that. I suppose I feel cheated on a personal level...I don’t think I can progress...because my (small) social life has disappeared forever and I think this was one of the key things I needed to heal. But I have still had to work through the pandemic. It seems like there will be even less opportunities in the future, even if I knew what to do.

I’m thankful that my therapist has seen me for lower fees, as money is really difficult and doesn't look to be getting better anytime soon. I wanted a child but I think by the time this is over I would be out of time. My dog had a seizure last week and I don’t know what I would do without him or how to pay the vet. I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow and I really hope he is gentle because things aren’t looking great for me. Sorry if this is over sharing or not what you meant.

I live in a country that is managing to get the spread of the virus under control so has safely opened up a lot of services already. My therapist returned to face-to-face meeting when it was allowed, but still does online work for people that want it. I do a mixture of both as I actually preferred online sessions, but she wants me to have face-to-face sessions. So I do in office sessions sometimes to keep her happy.
My T never touches me and has always kept quite a large bubble of physical distance, which suited me fine. So I don't have that to miss. I always feel very guarded when I am physically in the presence of people, so when having sessions online I am able to allow myself be much more vulnerable. That's why I like it better. But she prefers me to do in office sessions because wants me to learn to be vulnerable in the presence of another person. (Terrifying!!!!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissUdy I have been having therapy in person. We don’t wear masks or anything, he never touched me anyway so I suppose I can’t miss that. I suppose I feel cheated on a personal level...I don’t think I can progress...because my (small) social life has disappeared forever and I think this was one of the key things I needed to heal. But I have still had to work through the pandemic. It seems like there will be even less opportunities in the future, even if I knew what to do. I’m thankful that my therapist has seen me for lower fees, as money is really difficult and doesn't look to be getting better anytime soon. I wanted a child but I think by the time this is over I would be out of time. My dog had a seizure last week and I don’t know what I would do without him or how to pay the vet. I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow and I really hope he is gentle because things aren’t looking great for me. Sorry if this is over sharing or not what you meant.

I'm so, so sorry you're having a rough time. I hope and pray that your dog turns out to be okay. I certainly know how frightening it is to have a pet you fear ill, but not have the money for a vet

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amyjay I live in a country that is managing to get the spread of the virus under control so has safely opened up a lot of services already. My therapist returned to face-to-face meeting when it was allowed, but still does online work for people that want it. I do a mixture of both as I actually preferred online sessions, but she wants me to have face-to-face sessions. So I do in office sessions sometimes to keep her happy. My T never touches me and has always kept quite a large bubble of physical distance, which suited me fine. So I don't have that to miss. I always feel very guarded when I am physically in the presence of people, so when having sessions online I am able to allow myself be much more vulnerable. That's why I like it better. But she prefers me to do in office sessions because wants me to learn to be vulnerable in the presence of another person. (Terrifying!!!!)

It must take plenty of courage to do the in-office sessions. I wish you well with that challenge

We are still doing video therapy. It is hard I miss just feeling the energy of being in the same room together, I miss the safety of feeling like she is holding the space, I hate not having the ride home to process and compose myself. I really miss her comforting hugs. I do also miss being her body language. She is quite expressive with her body language so it is harder to read her.

All that being said, I can't imagine where I would be without her right now. Within the last month I needed to make life or death decisions for a family member. I was alone in the decisions as well as it was very triggering of my childhood trauma. My therapist was there every step of the way to support me and then deal with the death of the family member. Because of her office setup, she as with most therapists around here, are apprehensive about doing in person appointments. So without video therapy I really would be on my own right now. Add that to not being able to see much of my other supports and away from the activities that bring me joy and connection, I eoudl be a complete mess.

Teletherapy sucked for me. Video was worse, far worse. We are now meeting in person but have to stay 6 ft apart and wear masks. I will gladly take this over the other options. In an odd sequence of events T ended up with masks I made (he ordered from a volunteer group I donated to). For me it was really comforting to find him in a mask I was pretty sure I made. We talked a lot about it this week as it could muddy the waters rather badly as far as boundaries. We did an experiment where he put on a disposable store bought mask and it made me less comfortable but still OK. His using masks I made opened up a whole lot for us to discuss this week and it proved to be really beneficial with lots of stuff to come back to. But, back on topic, I am face blind and focus on a few key features of a face but largely on mannerisms to recognize people. For T I focus on the outside corners of his eyes and how he holds his mouth and jaw. I cannot see the last two at all now and the corners of his eyes are a bit different so it has been different but OK. If I did more from a persons face I might struggle more. For some clients, even those that don’t lip read, one of the masks with a clear piece might help.
It is awkward for both of us to not end with a hug. T has tried to find substitutes but we discovered quickly that I trigger too easily with physical gestures that are outside of my norm. After some super bumpy roads we have discovered that until I get more comfortable with the new restrictions or until it is safe to go back to normal our work is going to have to be very different. We were pretty deep into trauma work when this hit and I can’t safely do that work with social distancing. We are moving into a psycho educational and coaching space that allows us to make a different kind of progress but continue working.

I feel the same way about trauma work. We discussed it in the beginning of all of this. She has some clients who are able to continue with EMDR through all of this. However we agreed it would not be a good idea for me. I trigger and disassociate too easily. So we are working on other things that have arisen. If it relates to my trauma, we talk about it but do not delve into it.

I had online therapy for a few weeks and found it very difficult. I was grateful for being able to 'see' T during such a difficult time but I missed her presence so much. I needed to feel her energy and I still felt pretty alone seeing her on a screen. Plus I like silence during sessions but that felt ridiculous via our screens. Thankfully me and T came to an agreement about resuming in person sessions after some weeks. We don't wear masks (I offered to) but we weighed up the risks and both felt happy with it. Neither of us have a lot of contact with others. I know this is a touchy subject for some people but this is what worked for us and continues to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nottrustin We are still doing video therapy. It is hard I miss just feeling the energy of being in the same room together, I miss the safety of feeling like she is holding the space, I hate not having the ride home to process and compose myself. I really miss her comforting hugs. I do also miss being her body language. She is quite expressive with her body language so it is harder to read her. Yes. I understand all of the experiences you have listed. I feel exactly the same way; I could make a list of the same. All that being said, I can't imagine where I would be without her right now. Within the last month I needed to make life or death decisions for a family member. I was alone in the decisions as well as it was very triggering of my childhood trauma. My therapist was there every step of the way to support me and then deal with the death of the family member. Because of her office setup, she as with most therapists around here, are apprehensive about doing in person appointments. So without video therapy I really would be on my own right now. Add that to not being able to see much of my other supports and away from the activities that bring me joy and connection, I eoudl be a complete mess. That's the reality of therapy at this time, I think. That's why I ponder the question Are we pioneers or do we feel cheated? I guess the answer seems to be both...with the pandemic, we're the first people ever to find ourselves suddenly having to do teletherapy - and oftentimes feeling uneasy about that format. Maybe looking at the bottom line is important (and I'm definitely referring to myself)...the bottom line being that we do have our therapy in place, even if it's not an ideal format for us. Good for you for handling the loss of your family member! That took a lot of courage

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's the reality of therapy at this time, I think. That's why I ponder the question Are we pioneers or do we feel cheated? I guess the answer seems to be both...with the pandemic, we're the first people ever to find ourselves suddenly having to do teletherapy - and oftentimes feeling uneasy about that format. >>>>

Fortunately for me, this is not the my therapist and I have tried online therapy. There were 3 times prior to this She and I have utilized it. My insurance has covered video therapy for a number of years. Those times were because of weather or other commitments that while they were after my appointment, The travel time was an issue. Since I do best with the consistency of my appointments. It was only one meeting each time so nothing like this

I don't mind teletherapy that much, although I think not having to go to the office twice a week has compounded the issues I'm having. There is no reason for me to get out of bed and nobody is expecting me to be anywhere.

I don't like looking at the therapist when we talk in person, but I do look at her on video.

I've been having a hard time waking up and wanting to have a session. Today, the therapist suggested/asked for the third time if I wanted to come in for a session and if that would be helpful since then I would have to get out of bed. I declined the other times but said yes this time. So I'll be going on Thursday. I hope I can get up. I am going to wear a mask, but I admit that I'm using it not just as a shield against germs but also as a childish way of hiding. She asked me if she should wear a mask. This somewhat bothered me because it implies she isn't necessarily wearing a mask with the few clients she has been seeing f2f. I just worry that she'll get sick. There has been an explosion of cases in our area lately. But I told her she can do whatever when we meet.

She also said to bring my dog and I admit that was a big motivation for why I said yes.

I still see my therapist in person. I’m mainly her only client she sees in person (she occasionally sees a couple here & there). It’s strange but I’m thankful for the in person contact. We don’t do masks, but I wouldn’t have a problem with wearing one if she asked though. I think though when she starts seeing clients in person again, my anxiety is going to spike.. the fear of so many people in & out of her office is unnerving.

I see my T over video. I saw her over video before, when I was in a different state and my mom was dying, and it was a lifeline then, so my attitude about it now is colored by that previous experience.

It doesn't bother me that much. I would prefer to meet in person, but I don't feel like I'm missing out on that much by doing video instead. We never hugged nor even shook hands so I'm not missing out in that regard. I sort of miss the energy in the room but I'm lucky enough to have the whole house to myself during our sessions so I don't have to worry about others overhearing or interfering. I never had much body language to interpret except my facial expressions, and she's the same, so I'm not missing out on that front, either. So for me video sessions are working just fine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omers Teletherapy sucked for me. Video was worse, far worse. We are now meeting in person but have to stay 6 ft apart and wear masks. I will gladly take this over the other options. In an odd sequence of events T ended up with masks I made (he ordered from a volunteer group I donated to). For me it was really comforting to find him in a mask I was pretty sure I made. We talked a lot about it this week as it could muddy the waters rather badly as far as boundaries. We did an experiment where he put on a disposable store bought mask and it made me less comfortable but still OK. His using masks I made opened up a whole lot for us to discuss this week and it proved to be really beneficial with lots of stuff to come back to. But, back on topic, I am face blind and focus on a few key features of a face but largely on mannerisms to recognize people. For T I focus on the outside corners of his eyes and how he holds his mouth and jaw. I cannot see the last two at all now and the corners of his eyes are a bit different so it has been different but OK. If I did more from a persons face I might struggle more. For some clients, even those that don’t lip read, one of the masks with a clear piece might help. It is awkward for both of us to not end with a hug. T has tried to find substitutes but we discovered quickly that I trigger too easily with physical gestures that are outside of my norm. After some super bumpy roads we have discovered that until I get more comfortable with the new restrictions or until it is safe to go back to normal our work is going to have to be very different. We were pretty deep into trauma work when this hit and I can’t safely do that work with social distancing. We are moving into a psycho educational and coaching space that allows us to make a different kind of progress but continue working.

How ironic that your therapist ended up wearing a mask you made!


I was also deeply into trauma work when covid hit. My T and I have also changed the format of therapy, to quite an extent (we are doing sessions only by teletherapy). How are you doing with the interruption in trauma work?

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays I don't mind teletherapy that much, although I think not having to go to the office twice a week has compounded the issues I'm having. There is no reason for me to get out of bed and nobody is expecting me to be anywhere. Yes. I'm having to discipline myself to schedule my days and do things like choose decent clothes to wear, even though we're doing only video. I decided when teletherapy began that I would dress as nicely as I would have in person. Otherwise I feel like all I want to do is roll out of bed, do a half-azzed session, and flop back into bed. This way, at least I feel like I've done something productive - even if I do end up back in bed. I don't like looking at the therapist when we talk in person, but I do look at her on video. That's interesting! One of the things about televideo that I do like is that I can study my therapist's face. For example, during our last session she was jotting something down on paper and I was able to really look at her. It struck me that she looks like a wise elder. That made me feel good. Not something I had particularly noticed in person. I've been having a hard time waking up and wanting to have a session. Today, the therapist suggested/asked for the third time if I wanted to come in for a session and if that would be helpful since then I would have to get out of bed. I declined the other times but said yes this time. So I'll be going on Thursday. I hope I can get up. I am going to wear a mask, but I admit that I'm using it not just as a shield against germs but also as a childish way of hiding. She asked me if she should wear a mask. This somewhat bothered me because it implies she isn't necessarily wearing a mask with the few clients she has been seeing f2f. I just worry that she'll get sick. There has been an explosion of cases in our area lately. But I told her she can do whatever when we meet. I think it's fine if, for the time being, you feel like hiding behind your mask. Actually, I've noticed a number of people saying the same. She also said to bring my dog and I admit that was a big motivation for why I said yes. That is awesome!!! Wow! What kind of dog do you have?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart I had online therapy for a few weeks and found it very difficult. I was grateful for being able to 'see' T during such a difficult time but I missed her presence so much. I needed to feel her energy and I still felt pretty alone seeing her on a screen. Plus I like silence during sessions but that felt ridiculous via our screens. Thankfully me and T came to an agreement about resuming in person sessions after some weeks. We don't wear masks (I offered to) but we weighed up the risks and both felt happy with it. Neither of us have a lot of contact with others. I know this is a touchy subject for some people but this is what worked for us and continues to.

That's great, you're so fortunate. It must feel so good to know that your teletherapy has a limited time remaining.

I had hopes of being able to do in person by autumn, but the way California cases have spiked in June, well...I'm not counting on in person until who knows when, if ever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche I see my T over video. I saw her over video before, when I was in a different state and my mom was dying, and it was a lifeline then, so my attitude about it now is colored by that previous experience. It doesn't bother me that much. I would prefer to meet in person, but I don't feel like I'm missing out on that much by doing video instead. We never hugged nor even shook hands so I'm not missing out in that regard. I sort of miss the energy in the room but I'm lucky enough to have the whole house to myself during our sessions so I don't have to worry about others overhearing or interfering. I never had much body language to interpret except my facial expressions, and she's the same, so I'm not missing out on that front, either. So for me video sessions are working just fine.

I am also alone in my apartment during sessions. I can't even imagine having other people around and trying to do therapy. It sounds like you have a good set-up and a great attitude!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah1985 I still see my therapist in person. I’m mainly her only client she sees in person (she occasionally sees a couple here & there). It’s strange but I’m thankful for the in person contact. We don’t do masks, but I wouldn’t have a problem with wearing one if she asked though. I think though when she starts seeing clients in person again, my anxiety is going to spike.. the fear of so many people in & out of her office is unnerving.

Is it client preference as to whether or not your T sees someone in person?

I know I’ve asked if we should do video sessions and she said in person was fine. But then I noticed no other clients were before or after me, so I asked and she’s said she was mainly doing video sessions. ..that was rough news at first because then I though well great I’m doing so bad I have to see her in person still. But I have no idea what the criteria was for then to do video sessions/verse in person. Maybe everyone else just wants to do video. Not sure