bad therapy experiences?

Jul 02, 2020 at 09:41 AM

what are yours.

I have 2 to share

I was once mistaken for someone who died in 2007 (I have no idea how this happened), but the woman working with me was convinced I was this person who died in 2007, and because she thought I was this person, I had her records. it was very confusing, indeed

my other bad experience was being told by a therapist

Possible trigger:

to go ahead and die if that's what I want to do, tragic thing was, at the time me and a friend were discussing doing it together and then she went ahead and did it.

SlumberKitty · Jul 02, 2020 at 11:10 AM

I'm so sorry this happened to you @raging vortex

kit

*Beth* · Jul 02, 2020 at 04:27 PM

I was seeing my therapist for 6 years. 6 years solid, every single week unless he was on a 2 week vacation once per year. We had a wonderful therapeutic relationship.

One day I went in for my usual Tuesday appointment and my therapist told me that he was being forced to resign. The reason was that he was using "Buddhist" techniques in therapy...meditation, mindfulness, philosophy.

This was at the Veteran's Administration, in 1997. There was still plenty of prejudice toward Asians because of Vietnam; almost all of the guys receiving counseling back then were Viet vets. Many of them were evangelical Christians.

Now - pfffft! Buddhist techniques are used so commonly in therapy! But my T was a psychologist before his time.

He resigned that day (or would have been fired). No notice, nothing - suddenly I was cut off from therapy and he and I never had therapy again.

Given the circumstances, my T, my husband, and I did meet for lunch a few weeks later.

My T then moved to New Zealand with his wife.

An extremely traumatic experience. I still miss him, but I also still use what I learned in therapy with him.

Jul 02, 2020 at 04:45 PM

My therapist, who had spent seven years promising to never abandon me because so many people have, abandoned me out of nowhere. I have NO idea what i did. She just said she was done with me, and that was it.it completely devastated me for many years and ruined my trust in people.

*Beth* · Jul 02, 2020 at 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

My therapist, who had spent seven years promising to never abandon me because so many people have, abandoned me out of nowhere. I have NO idea what i did. She just said she was done with me, and that was it.it completely devastated me for many years and ruined my trust in people.

I am so, so sorry.

Jul 02, 2020 at 08:32 PM

I once confided in a friend/mentor who was not as trust worthy as I had thought she was. I think maybe what I had shared with her was too much of a burden for her to handle and she herself, needed emotional support. I was in such turmoil, worrying about my family, friends, I would find whatever ways to distract myself because I did not want to think about myself and my situation. around the same time in 2007, my very first college friend committed suicide shortly after I missed a call from her. I did not want to see her because she had not been very good to me lately. I couldn't have known that would be the last time I'd hear from her. we would often mess around together and we shared music, laughs, friends and so much more. sometimes I feel I led her down a dead end path but had she stuck with me, had she been as patient with me as she was asking for me to be with her, we could have found our way, eventually. one more day has made a difference for me many times. I keep telling myself tomorrow will be better.

Jul 03, 2020 at 04:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

My therapist, who had spent seven years promising to never abandon me because so many people have, abandoned me out of nowhere. I have NO idea what i did. She just said she was done with me, and that was it.it completely devastated me for many years and ruined my trust in people.

so sorry this happened.

what a horrid thing to do

do you have a therapist these days?, or have you not been able to trust anyone

Jul 03, 2020 at 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I was seeing my therapist for 6 years. 6 years solid, every single week unless he was on a 2 week vacation once per year. We had a wonderful therapeutic relationship.

One day I went in for my usual Tuesday appointment and my therapist told me that he was being forced to resign. The reason was that he was using "Buddhist" techniques in therapy...meditation, mindfulness, philosophy.

This was at the Veteran's Administration, in 1997. There was still plenty of prejudice toward Asians because of Vietnam; almost all of the guys receiving counseling back then were Viet vets. Many of them were evangelical Christians.

Now - pfffft! Buddhist techniques are used so commonly in therapy! But my T was a psychologist before his time.

He resigned that day (or would have been fired). No notice, nothing - suddenly I was cut off from therapy and he and I never had therapy again.

Given the circumstances, my T, my husband, and I did meet for lunch a few weeks later.

My T then moved to New Zealand with his wife.

An extremely traumatic experience. I still miss him, but I also still use what I learned in therapy with him.

sorry this happened to you

ugg

Mountaindewed · Jul 03, 2020 at 05:06 AM

I had a therapist from 2011 until 2015 who was just very critical of everything I did. She commented on the way I dressed, and the way I talked and the things I ate. She said I talked funny when I have speech issues. She said I wasn’t bullied because I wasn’t physically bullied. She’d actually say “I don’t believe you.” When I told her things. She also said I was just confused when I told her about my gender issues. Finally she had enough and just abandoned me without switching me to another therapist.

MissUdy · Jul 03, 2020 at 07:09 AM

Ive had a few, from the T just being obviously unhelpful or unqualified and saying stupid things...but also ones that think a sexual relationship is available and ok to them. Sounds mad as I’m sitting here typing it now, I didn’t know how harmful it would be and I was not in a good place at the time. But they made me feel special and played games with my mind I guess. I think I’m still tangled up in it.

Im so sorry to you guys that got abandoned by your therapists, that is my worst fear about therapy too. I seem to find ways to feel abandoned even when I’m not, I don’t know what would happen to me if he really left me.

comrademoomoo · Jul 03, 2020 at 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I was seeing my therapist for 6 years. 6 years solid, every single week unless he was on a 2 week vacation once per year. We had a wonderful therapeutic relationship.

One day I went in for my usual Tuesday appointment and my therapist told me that he was being forced to resign. The reason was that he was using "Buddhist" techniques in therapy...meditation, mindfulness, philosophy.

This was at the Veteran's Administration, in 1997. There was still plenty of prejudice toward Asians because of Vietnam; almost all of the guys receiving counseling back then were Viet vets. Many of them were evangelical Christians.

Now - pfffft! Buddhist techniques are used so commonly in therapy! But my T was a psychologist before his time.

He resigned that day (or would have been fired). No notice, nothing - suddenly I was cut off from therapy and he and I never had therapy again.

Given the circumstances, my T, my husband, and I did meet for lunch a few weeks later.

My T then moved to New Zealand with his wife.

An extremely traumatic experience. I still miss him, but I also still use what I learned in therapy with him.

I feel melancholic reading about your experience. There is something very sad about external forces dictating your path in such a rude way. And then him moving away, it's so final ... and yet still alive for you because you carry on working with what you learned alongside him. I find it very emotional to read your story, thank you for describing it. Maybe I am premenstrual, I should source chocolate asap.

The_little_didgee · Jul 03, 2020 at 09:00 AM

The worst experience I had took place in an adolescent mental health unit in a children's hospital back in the mid 1990s. Digging for memories was big back then. They told me that I was sexually abused, because I struggled socially and was angry due to bullying at school. It confused me. I left that place broken with all kinds of stigmatizing diagnoses that didn't explain what was going on with me.

The psychiatrist at that hospital tried to do psychoanalysis on teenagers. She was a nut who loved her position of power. I hope she goes to hell and burns in the blackest of black flames where there is no light, nor sound. It will give her the opportunity to think about the pain she inflicted on others and feel the burn for eternity.

TishaBuv · Jul 03, 2020 at 09:16 AM

Therapists’ comments slay me.

. I’m seeing yet another one, and I like him. He made an off the cuff comment yesterday that has me crying today. It cut to the core. This has happened several times with other therapists, too.

here today · Jul 03, 2020 at 04:20 PM

My last therapist terminated me after 6 years because she “didn’t have the emotional resources” to continue.

I had been in and out of therapy for more than 50 years, 18 almost continuously with different therapists after my husband was diagnosed with a terminal disease and eventually died.

But the depression and stasis continued as I tried to find and wrestle with things. I started and stopped therapy with different therapists, tried some intensive outpatient programs. Eventually a support group friend recommended that I consult a well-known local author, consultant, and trainer in trauma and dissociation, and I did.

The consultant couldn’t take me on herself but referred me to a therapist also with training and experience in trauma and dissociation. But after 6 years it was too much for her. I was too much.

It was devastating. What a waste, of my time, of my trust, of my life, everything. I’m still in pretty good health but so many decades under the bridge. Not sure how to go forward in any positive way.

here today · Jul 03, 2020 at 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Therapists’ comments slay me.

. I’m seeing yet another one, and I like him. He made an off the cuff comment yesterday that has me crying today. It cut to the core. This has happened several times with other therapists, too.

As long as he doesn't blow you off, or you don't put too much hope and trust in him (my bad on that score with those people no doubt ), can you feel the hurt and talk about it anyway? Hurt to the core sounds like triggered original trauma to me -- but what do I know, just our common not-so-great experiences with mothers AND not-so-lucky with therapists.

I'm guessing that's what that last therapist did too me -- but I'm not trusting any more of them to be able to "help" with that. I can't. I'm too rageful and the distrust doesn't turn off, which inevitably, now, turns THEM off.

here today · Jul 03, 2020 at 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

The worst experience I had took place in an adolescent mental health unit in a children's hospital back in the mid 1990s. Digging for memories was big back then. They told me that I was sexually abused, because I struggled socially and was angry due to bullying at school. It confused me. I left that place broken with all kinds of stigmatizing diagnoses that didn't explain what was going on with me.

The psychiatrist at that hospital tried to do psychoanalysis on teenagers. She was a nut who loved her position of power. I hope she goes to hell and burns in the blackest of black flames where there is no light, nor sound. It will give her the opportunity to think about the pain she inflicted on others and feel the burn for eternity.

I understand how you feel about that psychiatrist. I never felt felt so vengeful and hateful toward anyone, as I did and still do toward my last therapist. Wish I could "get over it". But, no, what she and others did to me was horrendous. And they still don't acknowledge the damage they can do to people. It's truly awful.

The_little_didgee · Jul 05, 2020 at 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by here today

I understand how you feel about that psychiatrist. I never felt felt so vengeful and hateful toward anyone, as I did and still do toward my last therapist. Wish I could "get over it". But, no, what she and others did to me was horrendous. And they still don't acknowledge the damage they can do to people. It's truly awful.

I ask myself the same thing (in bold).

Most won't apologize. I don't understand why it is so hard for them to admit they were wrong. They are human and prone to error like the rest of us. What makes them special?

Strange, but that psychiatrist is the only one who deserves to suffer out of all the terrible mental health professionals I have met, because she was terrible at her job and lazy. My ethnicity was used against me and she implied my mother and father were bad parents which wasn't accurate at all. It was all done to justify a misdiagnosis. - Now I cannot stand doctors and therapists who refuse to think and be challenged.

Taylor27 · Jul 06, 2020 at 09:35 AM

Back in 2017 with my last ex t I went to my session and was feel very depressed. He told me he could not see me unless I was in a women's AA group and got a sponsor. I went to AA and he still saw me reducing our weekly session to every 5 weeks and hardly ever paid much attention to what was going on. Then Jan 2019 he told me he was retiring and there was no need for me to continue therapy. He told me AA and getting a sponsor in the program would fix every problem I have.

I am very happy to say 14 months ago I got a new therapist in the same building and have made more progress then I ever have. I see her every 3 weeks however she allows phone contact in between sessions. Therapy is going well for me. I never thought i would ever find a good therapist after my last t. I still have night mares and panic attacks.

Fuzzybear · Jul 06, 2020 at 03:00 PM

Mean comments, incredibly nasty......dodgy boundaries and abandonment

Fuzzybear · Jul 06, 2020 at 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by here today

As long as he doesn't blow you off, or you don't put too much hope and trust in him (my bad on that score with those people no doubt ), can you feel the hurt and talk about it anyway? Hurt to the core sounds like triggered original trauma to me -- but what do I know, just our common not-so-great experiences with mothers AND not-so-lucky with therapists.

I'm guessing that's what that last therapist did too me -- but I'm not trusting any more of them to be able to "help" with that. I can't. I'm too rageful and the distrust doesn't turn off, which inevitably, now, turns THEM off.

Hurt to the core, exactly. They triggered original trauma in me

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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Jul 02, 2020 at 11:10 AM #2 I'm so sorry this happened to you @raging vortex kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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Anonymous47147 Guest Posts: n/a	Jul 02, 2020 at 04:45 PM #4 My therapist, who had spent seven years promising to never abandon me because so many people have, abandoned me out of nowhere. I have NO idea what i did. She just said she was done with me, and that was it.it completely devastated me for many years and ruined my trust in people.
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TishaBuv Legendary Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 10,189 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,872 hugs given	Jul 03, 2020 at 09:16 AM #13 Therapists’ comments slay me. . I’m seeing yet another one, and I like him. He made an off the cuff comment yesterday that has me crying today. It cut to the core. This has happened several times with other therapists, too. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,329 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jul 06, 2020 at 03:00 PM #19 Mean comments, incredibly nasty......dodgy boundaries and abandonment __________________
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