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Val12
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 12:52 PM
  #1
I have multiple conditions and I've been in therapy for over 15 years with different types of Ts, but it's been no help and each condition only gets worse. General DBT and CBT Ts have said I need to see someone who specializes in PTSD or OCD or ADHD since they are so bad. I go to a T that specializes in one and they eventually say something about how my other conditions are preventing me from getting better, but aren't able to help with those others. My conditions are so intertwined its feels impossible to get help. I need some advice about where to start so I can start making some kind of progress. Can someone please suggest where I could start, like what kind of T do I see to start feeling some improvement? What condition do I start treating first? Here are my conditions:

PTSD: had two near-death health traumas over 20 years ago. Since then, I jump and my heart pounds at every noise (can't even have a phone ringtone). I can't sleep in the dark, only lights on. I can't be at home alone. I have nightmares at least once a week about bad, graphic, violent things happening to me to the point I stress about sleep. My whole life I have been told to just ignore these things. I started seeing a PTSD T last year, but they had me re-tell my traumas and symptoms and said now that I've told them, I should “live differently.” They have no answer to HOW to live differently given the fear symptoms. They said maybe my OCD is too strong for me to improve on the PTSD so for months, all they will do with me is meditations every session to make the OCD “go away.” It's done nothing.

OCD: I have really severe OCD, in almost every single way you can. I have to count things, go through rituals, say prayers, avoid certain words, fear I might unintentionally harm myself or others, etc. I amdo an extreme hoarder and my living space is challenging to live in. One OCD T flat-out said they couldn't work with someone this bad. Another OCD said they had never seen such severe OCD in their over 20-year career and then spent 2 months with me trying to figure out where to begin because they said I had “so much.” They eventually said my PTSD was really bad and it was impossible to treat my OCD without treating my PTSD first so said I need to go to a PTSD T.

Anxiety: I have GAD and social anxiety. It's all that you'd expect with these. I feel non-stop anxiety from the moment that I wake up. Having to do anything ups my anxiety and I feel like vomiting. My vision goes black around the edges anytime I need to talk to others, etc.

ADHD : I haven't been formally diagnosed with this, but several Pdocs and Ts have said they think I have this. I can't concentrate on a single thing for more than a few minutes and it takes me forever to get a simple task done it takes others minutes. I just lost another job because in an 8-hour workday, I couldn't get a single spreadsheet done. I would get distracted constantly over having to send an email or google the latest thing that came into my head or I'd find myself staring into space for an hour without noticing. I'd constantly mess up because I couldn't keep track of information and I would lose files so every task would require me to start over multiple times.

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So I'm here with all of my conditions continuing to get worse despite over 15 years of continuous therapy and the feeling like no one can help.

Edit: Medication: I forgot to add about medications. That's another problem. I've been on 30+ at this point and not a single one has worked and I got pretty bad side effects from each one I took. I've gone from Pdoc to Pdoc and they seem to be stumped why not a single one can bring relief.

Last edited by Val12; Jul 06, 2020 at 01:25 PM..
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 01:13 PM
  #2
I'm sorry you are struggling, it sounds very frustrating. You don't mention this but are you on any medications? Perhaps that could at least help you tone down some of the anxiety and ADHD symptoms. I'm not sure if meds would help the OCD at all. As for the PTSD, I would recommend a T that does EMDR. According to my T who is a trauma specialist, EMDR is the quickest way to improve the trauma issues. EMDR may also be able to help with the anxiety as well.

Good luck to you. I hope you can find someone who is willing to work with you where you are.
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 01:21 PM
  #3
I'm not minimalizing anything you're going through as it all sounds awful but I just wanted to throw a thought out there: have you looked into meditation or mindfulness approaches? They can sometimes work wonders when trauma and other mental health issues won't improve through traditional psychological methods. Many therapists incorporate them as part of their work these days and they're not associated with any belief system although many people come to a spiritual faith through their use.

Disclaimer: I strongly suggest working with a therapist rather than attempting meditation or mindfulness approaches alone due to your PTSD.

I really hope you find a way forward that gives you some peace and healing.
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by zoiecat View Post
I'm sorry you are struggling, it sounds very frustrating. You don't mention this but are you on any medications? Perhaps that could at least help you tone down some of the anxiety and ADHD symptoms. I'm not sure if meds would help the OCD at all. As for the PTSD, I would recommend a T that does EMDR. According to my T who is a trauma specialist, EMDR is the quickest way to improve the trauma issues. EMDR may also be able to help with the anxiety as well.

I realized I forgot to add about medications. I've run the gamut of them, but no help. EMDR sounds interesting. Right now everything is pretty locked down. I wonder if it could work virtually.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart View Post
I'm not minimalizing anything you're going through as it all sounds awful but I just wanted to throw a thought out there: have you looked into meditation or mindfulness approaches? They can sometimes work wonders when trauma and other mental health issues won't improve through traditional psychological methods. Many therapists incorporate them as part of their work these days and they're not associated with any belief system although many people come to a spiritual faith through their use.

I've done quite a bit of mindfulness. My current T (PTSD) has been spending all of our sessions doing only mindfulness for several months claiming it will eliminate my OCD, but it isn't helping. I've done a lot mindfulness with several CBT and DBT Ts in the past. It helps a little in the moment with the anxiety, but only for 10-15 min max.
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 02:32 PM
  #5
Over the years, I have been diagnosed with many mental illnesses and none of these diagnoses have helped me with my recovery. Imagine if you were seeking a therapist and you didn't have these diagnoses, what would you want them to be like? Is relational working important or is it more useful for you to have a cognitive emphasis? It seems to me that you don't need a therapist who is a specialist in your selection of diagnoses, but rather a therapist who can work with YOU.
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Default Jul 06, 2020 at 02:32 PM
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EMDR can be done remotely. It is not ideal but I have continued to do EMDR with my T since the lock down. Although my T also specialized in DBT and CBT, he required me to to do a separate DBT class to assist with emotional stability. I took classes for a little over 2 years and am now continuing with the graduate class. I do not have BPD but I have gained a lot of skills from the class. My T also adds DBT techniques to sessions and required me to do the diary card each week. I know you have tried meds, but it may be helpful to give it another try. It took awhile for me to find the right combo but I am currently on 3 different meds. Even if you use meds to help with just one of your conditions, it might make it easier to focus on the other issues for awhile.
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Default Jul 07, 2020 at 02:37 AM
  #7
have you ever considered trying neurofeedback therapy? all those conditions you listed are ones that neurofeedback can help address.

i did neurofeedback with a practitioner while i continued working with my talk T to address my CPTSD/developmental trauma. for me, neurofeedback helped when talk therapy alone failed to address my trauma symptoms. before the neurofeedback, i was usually leaving my talk therapy sessions quite triggered and severely dissociated. i was making very little positive progress over the many years addressing my trauma and the accompanying symptoms, and actually my symptoms were becoming more exasperated, to the point where i was staring to contemplate SU as my only way of ever experiencing any relief from my despair. the neurofeedback helped to calm my anxiety and overall fears and also settled my emotional dysregulation so i could start actually doing the talk therapy with out becoming overly triggered (hyper-aroused with fear). i made significant progress in my healing once i started doing the neurofeedback. thankfully, i experienced significant improvements within the first few weeks of starting...it quite literally saved my life at that desperate time.

Bessel van der Kolk talks about neurofeedback for addressing trauma in his book, 'The Body Keeps the Score'. that is where i first learned about it. some practitioners even offer neurofeedback remotely and that may be an option for you during these covid times.
these sites may be of some help:
ISNR | International Society for Neurofeedback & Research | Neurofeedback Training and Educational Support
FAQ | Sebern Fisher
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Default Jul 07, 2020 at 09:40 AM
  #8
I have found specialists in therapy especially unhelpful. Honestly, I wish I could send you my T. IMO you need someone that works with you as a person as opposed to working on your labels/diagnoses. But... finding competent T’s that can truly work with a person competently without getting caught up in labels is like finding a unicorn. Just know that their inability to work with you is on them and is truly not about you.

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Default Jul 09, 2020 at 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by zoiecat View Post
EMDR can be done remotely. It is not ideal but I have continued to do EMDR with my T since the lock down. Although my T also specialized in DBT and CBT, he required me to to do a separate DBT class to assist with emotional stability. I took classes for a little over 2 years and am now continuing with the graduate class. I do not have BPD but I have gained a lot of skills from the class. My T also adds DBT techniques to sessions and required me to do the diary card each week. I know you have tried meds, but it may be helpful to give it another try. It took awhile for me to find the right combo but I am currently on 3 different meds. Even if you use meds to help with just one of your conditions, it might make it easier to focus on the other issues for awhile.

It's good to hear it can be done remotely. I'll have to look into whether I can find someone in my area. The meds thing is such a problem because it's been going on for close to two decades. When pdocs see what I've tried, they are stumped as to what to try with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by koru_kiwi View Post
have you ever considered trying neurofeedback therapy? all those conditions you listed are ones that neurofeedback can help address.

i did neurofeedback with a practitioner while i continued working with my talk T to address my CPTSD/developmental trauma. for me, neurofeedback helped when talk therapy alone failed to address my trauma symptoms. before the neurofeedback, i was usually leaving my talk therapy sessions quite triggered and severely dissociated. i was making very little positive progress over the many years addressing my trauma and the accompanying symptoms, and actually my symptoms were becoming more exasperated, to the point where i was staring to contemplate SU as my only way of ever experiencing any relief from my despair. the neurofeedback helped to calm my anxiety and overall fears and also settled my emotional dysregulation so i could start actually doing the talk therapy with out becoming overly triggered (hyper-aroused with fear). i made significant progress in my healing once i started doing the neurofeedback. thankfully, i experienced significant improvements within the first few weeks of starting...it quite literally saved my life at that desperate time.

Bessel van der Kolk talks about neurofeedback for addressing trauma in his book, 'The Body Keeps the Score'. that is where i first learned about it. some practitioners even offer neurofeedback remotely and that may be an option for you during these covid times.
these sites may be of some help:
ISNR | International Society for Neurofeedback & Research | Neurofeedback Training and Educational Support
FAQ | Sebern Fisher

Thanks for these resources! I'll check out neurofeedback as well. I don't know much about it. What made you choose it versus EMDR?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omers View Post
I have found specialists in therapy especially unhelpful. Honestly, I wish I could send you my T. IMO you need someone that works with you as a person as opposed to working on your labels/diagnoses. But... finding competent T’s that can truly work with a person competently without getting caught up in labels is like finding a unicorn. Just know that their inability to work with you is on them and is truly not about you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo View Post
Over the years, I have been diagnosed with many mental illnesses and none of these diagnoses have helped me with my recovery. Imagine if you were seeking a therapist and you didn't have these diagnoses, what would you want them to be like? Is relational working important or is it more useful for you to have a cognitive emphasis? It seems to me that you don't need a therapist who is a specialist in your selection of diagnoses, but rather a therapist who can work with YOU.

I've always been directed to specialists because my issues are considered "severe" and they have a lot of experience treating people with those specific issues. Except they can't with me. It just seems like non-specialized Ts don't have a deep enough understanding of PTSD or OCD to figure out how to treat. They flounder when they encounter me.
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Default Jul 11, 2020 at 05:45 AM
  #10
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Originally Posted by Val12 View Post
Thanks for these resources! I'll check out neurofeedback as well. I don't know much about it. What made you choose it versus EMDR?
there were a couple of reasons why i didn't choose EMDR. when i had first heard about EMDR, about six years ago, the info i was reading was saying that it was a good trauma modality for single trauma events (i.e.accidents) and not specifically ideal for complex trauma. if there were Ts who were providing it for complex issues, then they needed extensive training for it. where i live, when i started seeking an alternative to talk therapy (five years ago), the only EMDR Ts who were somewhat close, but still a significant distance away, did not have the level of training to do EMDR work with complex trauma.

the main thing that convinced me to seek the neurofeedback was upon reading Seburn Fishers book, Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma

Neurofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma | Sebern Fisher

she is a neurofeedback therapist who is mentioned in Bessel van der kolks book, The Body Keeps the Score, in the chapter about neurofeedback. her book resonated for me like no other trauma/therapy book ever has and i found it to be incredibly validating. she absolutely has a deep understanding of developmental trauma and what it's like as a client having to overcome it, including understanding how the strong transference and counter transference can become ignited in the therapeutic relationship and how harmful and damaging the reenactments can become for the client if the T misunderstands (mainly due to incompetence) what is really going on. her book explained exactly what was playing out in my therapy in the relationship with my ex-T and she could explain why this was happening, due to my early trauma, in plain simple english that was understandable for me. but it was reading her stories about some of her clients (clients with CSA, BPD and DID) and how she helped them heal with her neurofeedback protocols, along with doing talk therapy, which provided me hope by seeing how those clients with similar struggles to mine could successfully heal and move forward in life. i was convinced that i needed to at least give it a try because by that point in my life i was close to believing that i really didn't have many other options left to ever healing.
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