What is the purpose of therapy?

What is therapy for? Is it supposed to support you through bad times? Help make good times better? Give you a stronger sense of self? Make you a more moral person?

I ask in part because my therapist told me during this morning's session that it seems like ever since I entered into a romantic relationship I haven't been using therapy like I used to. I told him that's probably because I am, for the moment at least, rather happy. I'm not feeling quite so miserable and unlovable, so my need for his help is not as intense. He said that perhaps he and I have differing understandings of what therapy is for--I see it as a way to help weather the storms of mental illness, he sees it as a tool to understand oneself better and build a more robust sense of self in all climates.

So what say y'all? What is therapy for?

I think it's for whatever you want it to be for. That sounds flippant, but I truly mean it. Before every session, I stop and think about what's at the front of my mind and talk about that -- happy, sad, present-day or historical. Sometimes I want to ask my therapist intellectual questions about psychology or human development. Sometimes I want to tell her how much she pisses me off. Lately I have been thinking about this phase of therapy as a form of brain remodeling using a combination of "corrective emotional experiences" and EMDR to overcome dysfunction caused childhood trauma. Therapy goes where I want it to go.

I do think it's possible to overthink it. You shouldn't have to talk about what he wants to talk about if you don't want to talk about that. If you feel like talking a break while you're happy, that's cool. If you want to talk about happy things or nothing, that's fine. You should trust yourself to know what you'll want to talk about and when. When you're in that delicious new relationship phase, you basically can't concentrate on anything else anyway, right? When that feeling fades into something more mundane yet solid, you will undoubtedly have different things you want to talk about then.

It's all good. Don't let your T make you feel otherwise.

It depends on the client and what they want

Some people might need therapy to come to terms with the past - I.e trauma or grief/loss - and find a way to move on.

Some might want to focus on overcoming roadblocks such as lack of confidence, phobias, negative thoughts etc, to build a more positive sense of self/future.

Some might need ongoing support with mental health problems or long term difficulties with life.

Some might want to use therapy as an existential exploration - of their identity, the meaning of life etc.

Some might simply feel the need for a witness and/or safe space as they go through a certain experience or life generally.

Or all of these.

Mine has been a combination of most of these at different times.

There's no 'one size fits all' but depends on what the client wants and needs and also what the therapist is trained in, their approach and what they are prepared to offer. I think it's absolutely okay for therapy to be what you want it to be about as long as the therapist is willing to offer that.

I think therapy is whatever you need it to be For me it has shifted over the years, initially it was to help me be a better parent to 2 boys with ADHD as well as finally grieve the loss of my mother a few years after losing her. Then it became about dealing with my trauma as well as learning how to cope with my depression.

Now it has been about learning to feel and express emotions as well as the trauma and discovering who I am and who I want to be.

I agree with ElectricManatee. I use therapy for different things at different times. Sometimes, it's what I need to get through the day/week, to get through a dark place, to deal with some sort of struggle happening in my life and/or mind. Other times, it's trying to figure myself out, why I am the way I am, how I can improve things that I struggle with, improving relationships with others, etc. Sometimes that involves going into stuff from my past, like childhood, other times the present. At times, I seek reassurance and/or validation. Sometimes general support (which I think is different from reassurance). Or just a different perspective on something. Sometimes I just want someone to sit there with me and not judge as I'm crying and getting feelings out. Or someone who won't be sick of listening to me go on about the same thing (well, he might be, but I pay him, so...) Etc.

I have absolutely no idea what therapy is supposed to do. It was not completely useless when used as a place to vent when my person was sick and dying. It was completely useless to damaging when used for why I hired the therapist in the first place. I have no idea how what happened at an appointment was supposed to be useful in any way. I consider therapy a hoax - a giant joke those people play on clients.

I think it varies from client to client, AND I think it is very normal for a client's use/purpose of their therapy to change as they simply encounter different issues in their life and/or work through older issues. There were multiple times along my therapy journey when we reassessed where I stood and where I wanted to go and adjusted the focus accordingly. When I reached the place where I made my own adjustment and started working through things without the need of the therapist to walk me through it, that's when I realized I was ready to discontinue therapy.

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Originally Posted by stopdog I have absolutely no idea what therapy is supposed to do. It was not completely useless when used as a place to vent when my person was sick and dying. It was completely useless to damaging when used for why I hired the therapist in the first place. I have no idea how what happened at an appointment was supposed to be useful in any way. I consider therapy a hoax - a giant joke those people play on clients.

I respect and sometimes share your perspective on therapy. That said, is it possible that you had the misfortune of connecting with untalented therapists?

It can be any of these things. Usually the T and client agree on some goals, just so they are on the same page. All the while knowing the goals can change and evolve as therapy unfolds... or simply from one week to the other.

Seemingly you and your T currently seem to have differing goals. It does not mean he is right and you are wrong. You, the client, are using therapy in a form that is beneficial to you at the moment. That is fine. He has to adjust, even if an ultimate goal of therapy is to understand oneself better and blah blah.

I think its kinda sh**ty of your therapist to say you are not doing therapy "right". Who the F are they? We do not need to remain in therapy limbo or crisis forever.

I thought therapy was to process my trauma and reduce my symptoms... lower my anxiety and help my depression.

Last week my world got turned on its head. I sent T a LONG email about it... that’s what he would like for us to talk about Monday if I feel safe enough. The strangest things make me feel unsafe in session... anyway... I will let you know what we come up with.