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Old 08-02-2020, 10:41 AM   #11
iGottaBme
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Default Re: What to Share About Ex-T

Since boundary crossing is an issue for you, and for many people, it seems to me that sharing too much of oneself with someone who is not ready to hear it can be intruding on their boundaries.

I understand your addiction to your former T. I had something similar with my first T and read a very old book How to Break Your Addiction to a Person that really helped me understand why I got so attached to people and idolized them despite them not really knowing me. Perhaps you could just say something about addiction and unhealthy relationships instead of giving all of the details.
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Old 08-02-2020, 02:12 PM   #12
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Default Re: What to Share About Ex-T

Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
This seems to make sense that you would tell her about it then.


Out of curiosity, do you have OCD? I ask because I was sort of addicted to my ex-marriage counselor and also am working on some issues with alcohol now. And something that came up in my session with my current T yesterday was whether the OCD might play into that (I asked about it). In describing some stuff about my drinking (and, in the past, smoking--haven't had a cigarette in >10 years), he said how some of it seemed like rituals. How maybe some of it is about the ritual for me, which can be an OCD thing (I've had OCD since childhood). Pretty sure the OCD contributed to my obsessions about ex-MC and I think it may have some effect on my drinking (and I wonder now if some of that might be a substitute for him...). So, just something to consider. There's also a form of OCD that's pure obsessive.

I was just going to ask the same thing. I don't have attachment or transference issues, but I do have severe OCD. I tend to get obsessed with people. I have learned through therapy from an OCD specialist and my psychologist that this is my OCD causing this.
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Old 08-03-2020, 12:27 AM   #13
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Default Re: What to Share About Ex-T

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Originally Posted by Shotokan View Post
I was just going to ask the same thing. I don't have attachment or transference issues, but I do have severe OCD. I tend to get obsessed with people. I have learned through therapy from an OCD specialist and my psychologist that this is my OCD causing this.
Interesting. May I ask what you feel the difference is between attachment issues and becoming obsessed with people? Does the obsession show up with people you donít know personally and thus arenít necessarily attached to them?
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Old 08-03-2020, 12:02 PM   #14
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Default Re: What to Share About Ex-T

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Originally Posted by justbreathe1994 View Post
Interesting. May I ask what you feel the difference is between attachment issues and becoming obsessed with people? Does the obsession show up with people you donít know personally and thus arenít necessarily attached to them?

I could become obsessed with someone I've only met once. In my case, they were attractions, but hey aren't sexual as I am asexual. I never had a need to constantly talk to the person or drive by the individual's house. But, I would think about the person a great deal to the point were it interfered with the rest of my life.
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