How do I know my herapist is not scamming me?

roachbourne · Aug 05, 2020 at 10:38 AM

I am seeing my therapist remotely after a break from seeing her when I lost my insurance. But lately the thought has occurred to me that what if she has a financial incentive to keep me coming back even if she can't or doesn't intend on helping me? I noticed she seemed to ask a couple questions about my insurance, seemingly trying to assess if I wad going to be able to continue seeing her. Also when I asked her about certain medications, she seemed to be in favor of not switching to the new one(SSRI) which I hadn't tried before. She also said that medications might help my mood but they won't fix my underlying beliefs about myself. This has led me to wonder if maybe she has a financial incentive to keep me coming back and that when she is validating me and being supportive of my feelings she doesn't genuinely feel that way but thinks that it will keep me coming back. How do I know this isn't what's going on?

Salmon77 · Aug 05, 2020 at 10:57 AM

Well, she does have a financial incentive to keep you coming back, but I don't think that means she is necessarily scamming you. Do you feel like you benefit from therapy with her? Have things improved for you, do you feel better about yourself and your life?

nottrustin · Aug 05, 2020 at 11:05 AM

While it is possible she is scamming you different therapists have different takes on medications. I don't think it is about keeping the client longer than necessary but rather what might be in the clients best interest.

My long term T kept very updated on the medications that are out there so she could discuss with clients if appropriate. We often discussed medications because I am not great and so dis consistent with them. She wanted me to be the best possible me and felt medi actions could assist in that.

Current T and occasionally visit the topic. She believes medications have a place but it is a fine valance balance. If I are taking them to function then they are absolutely but if I want to increase in order to stop feeling (my long cycle) Then it will not help me theraputiclly to deal with the issues I am trying to work through.

roachbourne · Aug 05, 2020 at 11:14 AM

No, I do not feel it has had much of an impact on my life. So far all I've been getting out of it is a place to talk about things I can't talk about with regular people. However, that could just be because it takes more work or because I haven't done my part.

But seeing as she does have a financial incentive to keep me coming back, wouldn't actually helping me in a way that would have a major impact be counterproductive to that since I would then be likely to stop seeing her? Furthermore, what if she just tells me false things that I like to hear rather than the truth because she feels that I would be likely to stop coming back? Also, what if because of things I told her she actually has made a moral judgement on me and doesn't think I deserve to be helped and thinks it's ok for her to just keep getting money out of me and wasting my time?

Travelinglady · Aug 05, 2020 at 11:27 AM

Hi, roach, If you're getting to the point where you don't trust her motives, then it might be time to try a new therapist.

Salmon77 · Aug 05, 2020 at 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roachbourne

No, I do not feel it has had much of an impact on my life. So far all I've been getting out of it is a place to talk about things I can't talk about with regular people. However, that could just be because it takes more work or because I haven't done my part.

But seeing as she does have a financial incentive to keep me coming back, wouldn't actually helping me in a way that would have a major impact be counterproductive to that since I would then be likely to stop seeing her?

Not really—if she is helpful to her clients then they may recommend her to friends and family, leading to her getting more clients, and she's better off in the long run.

It might be useful to talk to the therapist about your questioning her motives. But if you don't find her helpful anyway it might be better to seek a different therapist or a different methodology or something.

Rive. · Aug 05, 2020 at 01:02 PM

If therapy is not helping you or you simply don't need it, then you can decide otherwise. However, therapy is not a quick fix where you go X times and you feel 'happy'.

As for prescribing meds, it is true that they are like a band-aid. If you are not functional, they may help (after much trial and error at times) but again, they won't 'fix' you.

Ts aren't like lawyers who see people as cash cows. They generally don't go into the profession to judge and/or decide clients don't deserve to get better. Unless these Ts are profoundly disturbed or psychopaths. Human nature being what it is, if you don't like someone it is really hard to work with them so I think it would be obvious from the way your T would treat you. It doesn't seem to be the case here.

It seems you have a lot of mistrust towards your T. Do you generally mistrust other people in your life? Is that a pattern you experience in other areas of your life? Have you discussed this with your T? Maybe therapy is not for you.

nottrustin · Aug 05, 2020 at 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roachbourne

No, I do not feel it has had much of an impact on my life. So far all I've been getting out of it is a place to talk about things I can't talk about with regular people. However, that could just be because it takes more work or because I haven't done my part.

But seeing as she does have a financial incentive to keep me coming back, wouldn't actually helping me in a way that would have a major impact be counterproductive to that since I would then be likely to stop seeing her? Furthermore, what if she just tells me false things that I like to hear rather than the truth because she feels that I would be likely to stop coming back? Also, what if because of things I told her she actually has made a moral judgement on me and doesn't think I deserve to be helped and thinks it's ok for her to just keep getting money out of me and wasting my time?

Do you typically judge the motives of the people on your life?

All the therapists I have seen (including the one who I saw once because it was a horrible fit) said that it is their job to work themselves out of a job. They want us to heal and bo longer need them.

stopdog · Aug 05, 2020 at 01:31 PM

I don't think you can know. I found all of therapy to be a scam. Therapists become therapists to fix themselves and to get their egos stroked by clients. Anyone who says they became a therapist to help others is lying to themselves and clients. If you are not getting anything out of it, I would stop going. I found therapy worse than what I hired the woman for.

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Salmon77 Poohbah Member Since Mar 2014 Location: PNW Posts: 1,394 10 106 hugs given	Aug 05, 2020 at 10:57 AM #2 Well, she does have a financial incentive to keep you coming back, but I don't think that means she is necessarily scamming you. Do you feel like you benefit from therapy with her? Have things improved for you, do you feel better about yourself and your life?
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 47,983 (SuperPoster!) 13 22.9k hugs given	Aug 05, 2020 at 11:27 AM #5 Hi, roach, If you're getting to the point where you don't trust her motives, then it might be time to try a new therapist.
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