What sorts of things count as insight from a therapist?

stopdog · 03:52 PM

What sorts of things count as insight from a therapist that would make it different from interaction with a real person in your life? Has the therapist actually ever said anything unique or revelatory?

This is a real question - people use the term insight in connection with therapy all the time and I have no idea what people are talking about. I really do not. So the question is, if you think therapy has given you insight or the therapist has said something insightful - what sort of thing was it. Not necessarily the specifics but in general how is therapy insightful? And if something was insightful - how did it help?

Omers · Aug 07, 2020 at 02:25 PM

I saw a picture of my T holding his grandchild and just about freaked. T talked to me a lot about how holding, cuddling and touch were important for infants growth and development and how in families everyone interacts with babies and young children. I was SHOCKED. I had not been touched, held, or cuddled much at all and no one other than my mother was allowed to touch me.
I had been diagnosed as on the autism spectrum and now T and I suspect it is more likely profound emotional neglect in infancy...

SlumberKitty · Aug 07, 2020 at 03:04 PM

Well one thing my T does is help me with emotions. My emotional vocabulary is very small. I don't understand emotions well and I don't express them well. So I might say, "I feel bad." or "I feel sad." And my T will say something like, "I hear you saying you feel sad, but what I suspect you are feeling is really anger and hurt." And then go on to say why she suspects that. Then she will say something like, "Does this ring true to you?" And then we discuss that. Then she will say something like, "How can you address the anger and hurt that is in you in a way that is not damaging to yourself?" And I usually talk about ways to stop feeling it immediately because I don't like how it feels. And she'll say, "I know you want to distance yourself from these feelings, that you'd rather die than feel them, but we need to feel our feelings to get past them so they can't keep hurting you. Do you think you could journal about this?"

I consider this insight. It's helpful to me although I still don't want to feel those feelings and want them to stop immediately. Great question stopdog.

nottrustin · 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Well one thing my T does is help me with emotions. My emotional vocabulary is very small. I don't understand emotions well and I don't express them well. So I might say, "I feel bad." or "I feel sad." And my T will say something like, "I hear you saying you feel sad, but what I suspect you are feeling is really anger and hurt." And then go on to say why she suspects that. Then she will say something like, "Does this ring true to you?" And then we discuss that. Then she will say something like, "How can you address the anger and hurt that is in you in a way that is not damaging to yourself?" And I usually talk about ways to stop feeling it immediately because I don't like how it feels. And she'll say, "I know you want to distance yourself from these feelings, that you'd rather die than feel them, but we need to feel our feelings to get past them so they can't keep hurting you. Do you think you could journal about this?"

I consider this insight. It's helpful to me although I still don't want to feel those feelings and want them to stop immediately. Great question stopdog.

My T and I frequently have similar conversations except she pokes more to get me to come up with feelings besides sad.

MoxieDoxie · Aug 07, 2020 at 04:55 PM

Patterns. You are blind to yourself most the time and they can see the patterns you play out over and over. Their insight would be why you do that.

atisketatasket · Aug 07, 2020 at 05:00 PM

I don’t feel they’ve had any insights about me that I have not had myself. Sometimes they remind me of them.

Info often says things she thinks are insights and I do not. Like, “The secret to happiness is to focus on the joirney, not the destination.”

SlumberKitty · Aug 07, 2020 at 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Info often says things she thinks are insights and I do not. Like, “The secret to happiness is to focus on the joirney, not the destination.”

Personally I would have a hard time taking that seriously! But just my opinion.

Lostislost · Aug 07, 2020 at 05:50 PM

I really hate all the lame cliché stuff they say. 'only the impossible is worth doing' etc...every time he says anything like that I feel a bit further away.

I was thinking recently that the therapist can only see us as deep as they see themselves, and I'm beginning to think my case is too complex for him. How could he possibly understand being brought up with no one real close by, when he had love and comfort from his parents.

I'm not sure about insights, it's helpful with dreams I think and the way the mind and body works, because he's studied it and I haven't.

nottrustin · Aug 07, 2020 at 06:58 PM

For me insight is when they say something thT finally makes something connect that I have struggled with. There has been many times over the years but the one that has stick with me and I always go back to is when long term T told me once that it is not about her (or any body else) judging me it is about me judging myself. When I judge myself I assume others think the same way.

Amyjay · Aug 08, 2020 at 06:28 AM

I think *I* have insights in my therapy, not my therapist. Therapy for me is a space where I go to examine myself. (Or selves, haha, I do have DID). Just recently I am beginning to trust T not to do anything awful if my selfs are there in the therapy room so, cliched as it my be, therapy is a becoming a "safe space" for me. It's a dedicated time where I commit to joining her in that room and focusing on the self things that need to be focused on.
But she is just "there", a presence in the room who bears witness to me making my own connections and insights with my selfs. She isn't the key to me. She has the training and understanding of dissociation to not be a **** to me whilst I process. She does guide me at times, perhaps to make connections I am avoiding or what not.
But the insights are definitely mine.
Even if sometimes she might have had an inkling of them first.

Elio · Aug 08, 2020 at 12:29 PM

I'm not sure if it was T or me that had one of what I consider bigger insights around how I was treating myself and how my father treated me - in general and how it was playing out in my behavior for a few months.

Like Amyjay, I think it is I that have more of the insights, now is that because I'm being skillfully lead or is it because the space is being held open for me; it's probable both at different amounts and at different times.

LostOnTheTrail · Aug 08, 2020 at 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Well one thing my T does is help me with emotions.

Thanks for putting it into words, Kit. In addition to this, R reassures me that it is OK to have emotions. Somebody who's been through what I have is bound to have feelings stemming from it. Often, it's like pin the tail on the donkey...I don't know what it is I'm feeling. The past few months, it's been easier to tell, because I've been crying more...but I don't always know why.

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What sorts of things count as insight from a therapist?

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atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,147 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Aug 07, 2020 at 05:00 PM #6 I don’t feel they’ve had any insights about me that I have not had myself. Sometimes they remind me of them. Info often says things she thinks are insights and I do not. Like, “The secret to happiness is to focus on the joirney, not the destination.”
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