advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Lostislost
Veteran Member
Lostislost has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 557
3 yr Member
890 hugs
given
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 02:51 AM
  #1
I was wondering if anyones journey or or purpose has become clear in therapy? I'm really struggling with who I am and what I'm meant to do. I can see how people around me arrived at their life choices for example...my friend has never been with a person physically and always craved touch, so he became a masseuse and now people pay him to touch them.

Another person I know really hurt someone when they were younger, and now they take care of people with the same condition.

I don't know what my purpose is. Does anyone have any idea what their journey is? How did you figure it out?
Lostislost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MissUdy

advertisement
Lonelyinmyheart
Poohbah
Lonelyinmyheart has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,093
3 yr Member
1,732 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 03:54 AM
  #2
Nothing specific but much of my therapy journey is about realising and understanding how my past patterns (emotions, behaviours) have influenced by past choices and that now I can make new choices in the light of awareness. It's ongoing and I still get massively triggered, but overall therapy is showing me that I can do things differently now and I can create the life I want to live (within limits of my situation) rather than feeling powerless.

I still struggle with knowing where I fit in this world. Due to my circumstances I don't even feel part of a family unit. Therapy is showing me that someone out there understands me, appreciates me and believes in me, and that goes some way towards knowing there must be a place or purpose for me, even if it's just showing other people that they're not alone either.
Lonelyinmyheart is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Lostislost
 
Thanks for this!
Elio, Lostislost
nottrustin
Grand Magnate
 
nottrustin's Avatar
nottrustin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 yr Member
375 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 06:33 AM
  #3
I have been struggling with this for a while. As my kids are all now adults I have wondered my purpose career wise. However, T and many other people remind me our purpose doesn't need to be a career. Both my biological parents come from abusive homes. My siblings sadly have raised their children in abusive homes. My Ts remind me that my purpose and greatest accomplishment in life will likely always be that my husband and I have broken the cycle.
We have raised three amazing compassionate children in a loving, stable and safe home. Part of doing that for me meant facing my demons and dealing with my own past in very painful ways. My therapist helped me navigate parenting when I thought I was not good enough. I always told T she helped me be the parent I wanted to be but wasn't sure how.

I also have been part of religious retreat for a few years. During them I have shared with the women about my painful childhood and teen years and how it effected who I am to and my journey to be where I am today.. While it was quite healing for me, it gave multiple women the courage to speak up for the first time about the horrible abuse they dealt with. For many there was so much shame that they never told anybody before, most were much older than myself. They felt such freedom in knowing they were not alone and at least telling one person. Hearing their stories and knowing that I could ne even a small part of their healing was amazing. Before therapy I had never told another person about my abuse never never mind a room of 45 other people.

So I guess, my for me therapy showed me that perhaps my real purpose is to to be kind, loving and an example to others that we are never too damaged or hurt or be a food person.

Thank you OP for the question I needed it today.

__________________


Last edited by nottrustin; Aug 08, 2020 at 08:00 AM..
nottrustin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Lostislost
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Lonelyinmyheart, Lostislost, Quietmind 2
stopdog
underdog is here
stopdog has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,701 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
1 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 07:42 AM
  #4
No - therapy had absolutely no bearing on that for me. But I did not hire a therapist for that reason and don't really struggle with it in general.

__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
stopdog is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Lostislost
ArtleyWilkins
Magnate
ArtleyWilkins has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,786
5 yr Member
7 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 09:47 AM
  #5
I really didn't go into therapy for that reason. I knew what I wanted for my life and largely had it in terms of career, family, etc. I think for some, however, perhaps therapy might help clear up some of the muddle of issues that might be preventing them from personally being able to make decisions, move forward, meet their goals, etc.

I will say that one of the offshoots of my own therapy was a gained stability and confidence that allowed me to pursue some personal interests that I would never have explored to the level I have done so now. However, those interests, etc. weren't at all really explored in therapy; I simply started in that direction as my therapy was coming to its natural end.
ArtleyWilkins is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Lostislost, Quietmind 2
Omers
Grand Magnate
 
Omers's Avatar
Omers has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
10 yr Member
3,133 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 10:08 AM
  #6
Last session T was kind of doing a review. He talked about how much trauma we processed and we were getting well into how it is impacting my life. We were, according to T, right on the edge of beginning to discover who I am (I am assuming calling would be a part of that) when the pandemic hit. He is sad that the pandemic has interfered wth and slowed down our work. He said what bothers him the most right now though is that I have always had to adapt and now is my becoming going to be put on hold because of the pandemic or am I going to have to adapt my being to life in a pandemic. He didn’t like either option. He is however very excited to see where I go as all of the trauma starts to lift.

__________________
There’s been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
Omers is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Lostislost
Lostislost
Veteran Member
Lostislost has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 557
3 yr Member
890 hugs
given
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 04:18 PM
  #7
Thanks for your replies. I don't seem to be able to have children, but I do fantasise about breaking the cycle in that way. I just wish all this pain was for something, I don't want to just get by managing my symptoms forever, but it seems like it may just have to be that way.
Lostislost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MissUdy
MoxieDoxie
Magnate
 
MoxieDoxie's Avatar
MoxieDoxie trust is a myth and caring is a painful lie
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
10 yr Member
365 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 06:01 PM
  #8
53 over here and still no purpose.

__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
MoxieDoxie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Lostislost
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2020 at 06:58 PM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin View Post
I have been struggling with this for a while. As my kids are all now adults I have wondered my purpose career wise. However, T and many other people remind me our purpose doesn't need to be a career. Both my biological parents come from abusive homes. My siblings sadly have raised their children in abusive homes. My Ts remind me that my purpose and greatest accomplishment in life will likely always be that my husband and I have broken the cycle.
We have raised three amazing compassionate children in a loving, stable and safe home. Part of doing that for me meant facing my demons and dealing with my own past in very painful ways. My therapist helped me navigate parenting when I thought I was not good enough. I always told T she helped me be the parent I wanted to be but wasn't sure how.

I also have been part of religious retreat for a few years. During them I have shared with the women about my painful childhood and teen years and how it effected who I am to and my journey to be where I am today.. While it was quite healing for me, it gave multiple women the courage to speak up for the first time about the horrible abuse they dealt with. For many there was so much shame that they never told anybody before, most were much older than myself. They felt such freedom in knowing they were not alone and at least telling one person. Hearing their stories and knowing that I could ne even a small part of their healing was amazing. Before therapy I had never told another person about my abuse never never mind a room of 45 other people.

So I guess, my for me therapy showed me that perhaps my real purpose is to to be kind, loving and an example to others that we are never too damaged or hurt or be a food person.

Thank you OP for the question I needed it today.

I love your post! I also strongly identify with it.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
nottrustin
Quietmind 2
Poohbah
Quietmind 2 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
Posts: 1,243
3 yr Member
8 hugs
given
Default Aug 09, 2020 at 05:53 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin View Post
I have been struggling with this for a while. As my kids are all now adults I have wondered my purpose career wise. However, T and many other people remind me our purpose doesn't need to be a career. Both my biological parents come from abusive homes. My siblings sadly have raised their children in abusive homes. My Ts remind me that my purpose and greatest accomplishment in life will likely always be that my husband and I have broken the cycle.

We have raised three amazing compassionate children in a loving, stable and safe home. Part of doing that for me meant facing my demons and dealing with my own past in very painful ways. My therapist helped me navigate parenting when I thought I was not good enough. I always told T she helped me be the parent I wanted to be but wasn't sure how.


I also have been part of religious retreat for a few years. During them I have shared with the women about my painful childhood and teen years and how it effected who I am to and my journey to be where I am today.. While it was quite healing for me, it gave multiple women the courage to speak up for the first time about the horrible abuse they dealt with. For many there was so much shame that they never told anybody before, most were much older than myself. They felt such freedom in knowing they were not alone and at least telling one person. Hearing their stories and knowing that I could ne even a small part of their healing was amazing. Before therapy I had never told another person about my abuse never never mind a room of 45 other people.


So I guess, my for me therapy showed me that perhaps my real purpose is to to be kind, loving and an example to others that we are never too damaged or hurt or be a food person.


Thank you OP for the question I needed it today.
I feel self conscious writing this (social anxiety) but your post kinda shows me what my journey is becoming....

I entered therapy for anxiety believing I was broken and needed fixing with judgement, condemnation and advice

(due to my life experiences of abuse and parents' forcing me into exorcism and a certain kind of religious counselling, stigma and ignorance about mental health as I'm Asian)

but was met with my first experiences of non judgmental acceptance, empathy and compassion.

I now believe my life's work for now is to break the generational cycle of abuse, trauma, neglect etc in both my family lines.
Quietmind 2 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, nottrustin
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Lostislost, nottrustin
Lostislost
Veteran Member
Lostislost has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 557
3 yr Member
890 hugs
given
Default Aug 09, 2020 at 07:08 AM
  #11
From your answers, I guess my challenge or journey is to find a way to break the cycle, without being able to have kids. Somehow. Thanks for replies.
Lostislost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, MissUdy
MissUdy
Member
MissUdy has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: Wales
Posts: 197
3 yr Member
269 hugs
given
Default Aug 09, 2020 at 07:31 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostislost View Post
From your answers, I guess my challenge or journey is to find a way to break the cycle, without being able to have kids. Somehow. Thanks for replies.
Im so sorry you are in that situation Lost, I can’t have kids either. It really is an awful feeling, no hiding from it as you can’t exactly avoid people with children and babies. Painful reminders everywhere. Hugs.
MissUdy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Lostislost
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:12 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.