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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
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#1
I was wondering if anyones journey or or purpose has become clear in therapy? I'm really struggling with who I am and what I'm meant to do. I can see how people around me arrived at their life choices for example...my friend has never been with a person physically and always craved touch, so he became a masseuse and now people pay him to touch them.
Another person I know really hurt someone when they were younger, and now they take care of people with the same condition. I don't know what my purpose is. Does anyone have any idea what their journey is? How did you figure it out? |
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MissUdy
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Earth
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#2
Nothing specific but much of my therapy journey is about realising and understanding how my past patterns (emotions, behaviours) have influenced by past choices and that now I can make new choices in the light of awareness. It's ongoing and I still get massively triggered, but overall therapy is showing me that I can do things differently now and I can create the life I want to live (within limits of my situation) rather than feeling powerless.
I still struggle with knowing where I fit in this world. Due to my circumstances I don't even feel part of a family unit. Therapy is showing me that someone out there understands me, appreciates me and believes in me, and that goes some way towards knowing there must be a place or purpose for me, even if it's just showing other people that they're not alone either. |
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Lostislost
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Elio, Lostislost
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#3
I have been struggling with this for a while. As my kids are all now adults I have wondered my purpose career wise. However, T and many other people remind me our purpose doesn't need to be a career. Both my biological parents come from abusive homes. My siblings sadly have raised their children in abusive homes. My Ts remind me that my purpose and greatest accomplishment in life will likely always be that my husband and I have broken the cycle.
We have raised three amazing compassionate children in a loving, stable and safe home. Part of doing that for me meant facing my demons and dealing with my own past in very painful ways. My therapist helped me navigate parenting when I thought I was not good enough. I always told T she helped me be the parent I wanted to be but wasn't sure how. I also have been part of religious retreat for a few years. During them I have shared with the women about my painful childhood and teen years and how it effected who I am to and my journey to be where I am today.. While it was quite healing for me, it gave multiple women the courage to speak up for the first time about the horrible abuse they dealt with. For many there was so much shame that they never told anybody before, most were much older than myself. They felt such freedom in knowing they were not alone and at least telling one person. Hearing their stories and knowing that I could ne even a small part of their healing was amazing. Before therapy I had never told another person about my abuse never never mind a room of 45 other people. So I guess, my for me therapy showed me that perhaps my real purpose is to to be kind, loving and an example to others that we are never too damaged or hurt or be a food person. Thank you OP for the question I needed it today. __________________ Last edited by nottrustin; Aug 08, 2020 at 08:00 AM.. |
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*Beth*, Lostislost
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*Beth*, Lonelyinmyheart, Lostislost, Quietmind 2
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underdog is here
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#4
No - therapy had absolutely no bearing on that for me. But I did not hire a therapist for that reason and don't really struggle with it in general.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Lostislost
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Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#5
I really didn't go into therapy for that reason. I knew what I wanted for my life and largely had it in terms of career, family, etc. I think for some, however, perhaps therapy might help clear up some of the muddle of issues that might be preventing them from personally being able to make decisions, move forward, meet their goals, etc.
I will say that one of the offshoots of my own therapy was a gained stability and confidence that allowed me to pursue some personal interests that I would never have explored to the level I have done so now. However, those interests, etc. weren't at all really explored in therapy; I simply started in that direction as my therapy was coming to its natural end. |
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Lostislost, Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
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#6
Last session T was kind of doing a review. He talked about how much trauma we processed and we were getting well into how it is impacting my life. We were, according to T, right on the edge of beginning to discover who I am (I am assuming calling would be a part of that) when the pandemic hit. He is sad that the pandemic has interfered wth and slowed down our work. He said what bothers him the most right now though is that I have always had to adapt and now is my becoming going to be put on hold because of the pandemic or am I going to have to adapt my being to life in a pandemic. He didn’t like either option. He is however very excited to see where I go as all of the trauma starts to lift.
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Lostislost
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#7
Thanks for your replies. I don't seem to be able to have children, but I do fantasise about breaking the cycle in that way. I just wish all this pain was for something, I don't want to just get by managing my symptoms forever, but it seems like it may just have to be that way.
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MissUdy
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Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
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#8
53 over here and still no purpose.
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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Lostislost
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catches the flowers
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#9
Quote:
I love your post! I also strongly identify with it. __________________ |
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nottrustin
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
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#10
Quote:
I entered therapy for anxiety believing I was broken and needed fixing with judgement, condemnation and advice (due to my life experiences of abuse and parents' forcing me into exorcism and a certain kind of religious counselling, stigma and ignorance about mental health as I'm Asian) but was met with my first experiences of non judgmental acceptance, empathy and compassion. I now believe my life's work for now is to break the generational cycle of abuse, trauma, neglect etc in both my family lines. |
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*Beth*, nottrustin
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*Beth*, Lostislost, nottrustin
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#11
From your answers, I guess my challenge or journey is to find a way to break the cycle, without being able to have kids. Somehow. Thanks for replies.
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*Beth*, MissUdy
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#12
Im so sorry you are in that situation Lost, I can’t have kids either. It really is an awful feeling, no hiding from it as you can’t exactly avoid people with children and babies. Painful reminders everywhere. Hugs.
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*Beth*, Lostislost
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