Did your relationship with your T change over the years?

emmaleemochizuki · Aug 11, 2020 at 12:01 PM

I have been in therapy with the same T since 2018. We had nine months break in between while I moved and lived in another country as I was going through some losses in my personal life.

When I first started her, it was slow, there were so many sessions I just didn't talk much or not at all. But I knew she was different to all other therapists that I saw and something clicked, and slowly I started to open up.

There were much more progress in the second year when I started with her again after the break, and I was much more open and honest about things. I talked about things that I would never imagine doing two or three years ago.

Recently even my T started mentioning how much closer or more mutual our relationship was. And how there's mark difference in the way I'm thinking and speaking, and how it is the best she's seen me in a long time.

ArtieTheSequal · Aug 11, 2020 at 01:15 PM

Yes, my relationship with long-term t has definitely changed/evolved over the years. I've been seeing her (with breaks taken here and there, some longer than others, including an attempt at terminating but that turned into a long break haha) since late 2011.

comrademoomoo · Aug 11, 2020 at 01:26 PM

Yes. We used to get along quite well and be civil to each other.

stopdog · Aug 11, 2020 at 01:42 PM

No - I would not say so. I never even considered the association a relationship.

Lostislost · Aug 11, 2020 at 01:59 PM

I think relationships with anyone are meant to change over the years, if they stayed the same forever there would be something very weird going on.

coolibrarian · Aug 11, 2020 at 02:31 PM

I've been in therapy, with the same wonderful T, since 1989 or so. We did have a 15 month break when I thought I was "done," but I went back when I felt I had to and have been with her ever since. I think our relationship has changed, but there are many possible reasons for that. We have both experienced major life losses, and have also had some similar joys. We're both older, lol. I think sometimes she's relaxed her boundaries and then other times, I think not. I dread the day she announces her retirement.

SlumberKitty · Aug 11, 2020 at 02:38 PM

With current T I've been with her about 2 years. I don't think our relationship has changed. I came to her pretty open and ready to work. I don't always understand her. Lately she says I have these layers of anger and hurt in me and I just don't feel that way. I don't feel anything. Maybe that's the problem. I think maybe she gets me a little better than she once did. But our relationship has remained good, open, positive.

CharlieStarDust · Aug 11, 2020 at 02:41 PM

I’ve been with the same T for almost a decade. I’d characterize our relationship as positive and helpful. Having said that, I wouldn’t say our relationship has changed. I’ve changed in how I engage in session, my level of openness and comfort (feeling more able to confront her, bringing up uncomfortable topics, etc.). But she’s always been the same. She’s made adjustments when needed to accommodate me, but I wouldn’t say she’s “changed” the nature and core of our relationship. I’m not sure how to properly articulate what I mean. Also, I think I like that she’s the same - it conveys a sense of routine and safety to an extent. I know what to expect and can trust that she’ll react the same way (as opposed to being unpredictable due to the supposed changing of the relationship). If that makes sense...

ArtleyWilkins · Aug 11, 2020 at 05:11 PM

Hmm. Not drastically really. I'm sure it changed in some ways, but it was a gradual thing like in most relationships - nothing huge. I was pretty trusting from the start and that didn't change. I was able to be open with them from the start and that didn't change. I guess the biggest change was with my last therapist when I realized in that last year that I was needing him less and less. I was handling things well on my own and really just checking in with him. That's when I knew I was ready to end therapy.

feralkittymom · Aug 12, 2020 at 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

No - I would not say so. I never even considered the association a relationship.

My perspective and felt emotions about the relationship are so different from any connotation I have to "association" that this statement has really made me think. Thanks for that.

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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,236 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,766 hugs given	Aug 11, 2020 at 01:15 PM #2 Yes, my relationship with long-term t has definitely changed/evolved over the years. I've been seeing her (with breaks taken here and there, some longer than others, including an attempt at terminating but that turned into a long break haha) since late 2011.
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Aug 11, 2020 at 01:26 PM #3 Yes. We used to get along quite well and be civil to each other.
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stopdog underdog is here Member Since Sep 2011 Location: blank Posts: 34,730 (SuperPoster!) 12 1 hugs given	Aug 11, 2020 at 01:42 PM #4 No - I would not say so. I never even considered the association a relationship. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Aug 11, 2020 at 01:59 PM #5 I think relationships with anyone are meant to change over the years, if they stayed the same forever there would be something very weird going on.
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