Struggling with negative changes

Hi everyone,
Haven't been here for some time.
Therapist I've been working with 2017 is taking a career break until January
My mother with leukemia is feeling worse
I'm depressed about never having a relationship in my life (age 32) but also terribly scared of it

Huge depression and feeling paralysed

I promise to reply to your threads guys.

Wow, Seeker.

That's a lot. Did your T give you any suggestions/options for contact while they're on break?
It sounds like you could do with some extra support at this time, not less.

It sounds like your stress level is very high right now. I'm so sorry about your therapist; that's very rough. I'm also wondering if you have a back-up plan for therapy/support?

Yes, she gave me a tip for another therapist but I'm not sure what to talk about with a stranger. I don't really want to explain everything from the beginning.
It just seems like everything is falling apart and I'm struggling a lot.

If you do decide to see a new therapist, ask your current therapist to call the provider and talk to them about your care. Let them communicate so the provider knows more about you and what you've been working on. It can be really hard to change providers or see a provider as a bridge. But getting care is still important.

HUGS @seeker33

Maybe instead of getting into everything, it would be worth looking into more focused therapy to talk about your mother. Or maybe a support group, if that's available in some form. Having a close family member get seriously ill is a whole thing on its own and I don't know anybody who couldn't use some help coping with it.

Your current therapist would most likely share notes with the other therapist, especially if you request her to do so.

Thank you guys. I'll see what I can do. I've eaten 3 over the counter pills for anxiety since yesterday and I'm feeling pretty indifferent now 🤣

Hi Seeker,
I don’t really have anything to add to the excellent advice above, all of which I agree with, especially the point about your mother’s illness being a very difficult thing in itself.

I don’t know if you are close to your mother or not or have any siblings to share this burden with you, but I can certainly attest to the draining nature of the whole experience, having gone through it all with my own mother a few years ago.

What with one thing and another, it wouldn’t be too surprising if all you could do at this point was sit staring numbly at the walls. You’ve always seemed to me like such a sweet sensitive person who is very hard on yourself and I can only hope that things get better for you soon

One more thing if you feel like responding to it. I see you’re a fan of minimalism. I’m curious if you’ve achieved this for yourself and if so, how.

Anyway, best wishes and many hugs.

Thank you for your extremely kind words, Mopey.
I have really nothing to add to my situation. No updates, really...
But will answer about minimalism. It will distract me which is a good thing. Small talk always helps.
I don't think minimalism is something that can be achieved. It's just an attitude or a set of values or a philosophy. To me, it means that I'm trying to reduce what I buy and I try to be happy with what I have instead of craving new stuff.
I know there are people who claim: "minimalist wardrobe is only having 3 T-shirts" or whatever I don't believe in rules like that. It's all made up and there's no reason why it should be exactly 3 and not 2 or 4... you know what I mean...
I'm also not a fan of instagram aesthetics of minimalism. You know, throw out your furniture and buy a completely new black and white lving room just because it will look good on social media. That s BS.

To me, it's not being sad that I live in a small flat. Not missing a car, not buying new clothes unless I really need them. Being happy about little things. I don't wear makeup because it annoys me and I refuse to waste time and money on it. I go to men's barber and have my hair cut for 5€ because I can't stand the gossip and the fake ladies in a women's hair salon. However, I've just returned from the dentist and I chose the more expensive treatment because health is important and I am willing to invest into it. Same goes for paying for a long term therapy. Things like this. That's what minimalism means to me Deciding what is important and what isn't.

What about you?

Intriguing thoughts on minimalism, Seeker. Got me thinking too. I guess I have always thought of it as something 2 B achieved rather than a mindset, but there are certainly a lot of decisions 2 B made before it can B arrived at. I guess when I think about minimalism I get a picture in my mind of an extremely bare room with perhaps a table and chair in it and that’s all. And of course everything is super clean. This idea has always attracted me tho sadly my own tendencies are of the messy packrat I’ll. I keep trying, but....

And interestingly I don’t consider this stuff Small talk at all, but a fascinating glimpse into a person’s functioning. The designer Tom Ford I think considers himself a minimalist and he hates red roses. His favorite roses he describes as “beige”.

Good talking with you. Hang in there.

Oh, normally I would consider it interesting and important. I only called it small talk now because the topic seemed small compared to the other issues.
Right now I find it difficult to focus on anything really... I just don't feel well so talking about minimalism seemed like a pleasant distraction from the pain.

Yes, I like looking at nice and clean rooms, too. The photos are nice. It's simply that I'm not sure if living like that is practically possible for an average person.

But I did get rid of many items I had at home. I either donated, sold or threw away many things. And I try not to bring I home more than necessary. Once or twice a year I'll go through everything and select what stays and what goes away.

But I don't have any rules or any charts about this. Only common sense 😉