Have you at any point felt like your T couldn't handle you?

emmaleemochizuki · Aug 14, 2020 at 02:44 PM

I had a very bad relapse last year of anorexia. My T knew from the very first day I met her that I struggled with an eating disorder. She said she could help me.

I was fresh out of hospital at that point and shortly after I started to relapse, and the weight kept dropping. As my weight were dropping very low, I can feel that my T was getting more and more concerned, and it felt like she didn't have this experience how to deal with an anorexic as severe as I was.

It was a definite sign to me where she offered her private number and said I could contact at any time, which to be fair I thought she did it more to her comfort than actually helping me.

Anyway I terminated with her temporarily for about nine months whilst I was monitored by the specialist eating disorder service and was admitted to an eating disorder unit, I began seeing her again at the beginning of this year, and things have progressed a lot since.

She's a good therapist but maybe just not equipped enough to deal with where I was last year.

SlumberKitty · Aug 14, 2020 at 03:09 PM

Glad to hear things have progressed a lot since the beginning of the year! Growth is good--often painful, but good!

Yes, there's been a few times where I felt my T wasn't equipped to deal with me. With former T it was about hallucinations. She really didn't seem to know what to do with them. Other times where I've been very self destructive I think it was a struggle for my former T to know what to do next. She would ask, what can I do to help you? And I'd say, if I knew what helped I would be doing it already!

With both former T and with current T when I had sui attempts I think that was very difficult for them, moreso than it was for me, and their reactions showed their distress and it made me feel like they couldn't handle it.

And one session with former T where I couldn't talk. At all. I'd write to her but I wouldn't speak. That really freaked her out. I could hear it in her voice. But we got through it. (At the time I was paranoid that a particular someone could hear me and hurt me even though he was far away from me.)

Omers · Aug 14, 2020 at 03:24 PM

Most of the T’s I have worked with were in no way equipt to work with me.
T1 is awesome and totally has it... although sometimes even he worries.
T2 is not but she has T1 for back up and she has some helpful (although not necessary) skills T 1 does not have.

stopdog · Aug 14, 2020 at 03:33 PM

No I never felt that way. I felt the woman was a horrible therapist but not because of me. I hired a therapist for garden variety reasons and she was completely useless but the reason I hired one was not complicated in any way nor am I really.

Lostislost · Aug 14, 2020 at 03:47 PM

Yes I have felt that. I always feel like I'm too much. I wish I could act the way I feel, but I know he would stop seeing me pretty quickly if I did.

ArtleyWilkins · Aug 14, 2020 at 07:16 PM

I think it is very possible that certain therapists are not equipped to handle certain issues.

I chose my therapist (particularly my last one) with my issues in mind, knowing I might need someone with experience and broad training. Because of his wider experience, he was quite able to deal with my particular needs. I've left a few therapists along the way that were probably just fine for other people with different needs, but they just weren't suited for what I needed.

It's not so much about you being "too much to handle" as much as your needs require a therapist with a particular knowledge and skills base.

nottrustin · Aug 14, 2020 at 07:26 PM

I felt we were not a good fit because of some missteps when it came to the prolonged grief over the loss of my mom and parenting issues. I chalked it up to the fact that both of her parents are alive and very active and her child was 4 compared to mine being adults. I also felt Inwas too much of a mess when long term T passed.

Aug 14, 2020 at 08:35 PM

With my first therapist, yes all of the time.
With this therapist, never.

Rive. · Aug 15, 2020 at 07:51 AM

Oh, yes.

Lonelyinmyheart · Aug 15, 2020 at 09:10 AM

I've felt like this with every T I've seen. It doesn't mean it was true though. It's quite a common feeling in therapy especially for people who had less than adequate parenting. Sometimes it IS true but as others have said it only means the therapist isn't equipped with the right skills and training and doesn't mean the client is too much for anyone to cope with.

here today · Aug 15, 2020 at 11:37 AM

Yes, and unfortunately they couldn't, with not-so-very-good results for me.

Glad it is working out for you and I hope things continue to go well for you.

Amyjay · Aug 15, 2020 at 09:25 PM

I don't so much think that "my T can't handle me" as I don't have any expectations being "handled' or "coped with" in therapy, but I do quite often think that she doesn't have the skills I require her to have in order to get the help I need.

MoxieDoxie · Aug 17, 2020 at 07:40 PM

I believe mine realized he was in over his head and found a way to make sessions so awkward or unbearable I would not want to come back and I didn’t.

seeker33 · Aug 18, 2020 at 11:08 AM

Yes, sometimes it seems so. I am quite a complicated personality with many contradictions and it's difficult to guess what I want and need at a particular time.
I alos have issues which aren't very common and require a specialist. But I think she is "good enough".

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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 03:47 PM #5 Yes I have felt that. I always feel like I'm too much. I wish I could act the way I feel, but I know he would stop seeing me pretty quickly if I did.
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nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 07:26 PM #7 I felt we were not a good fit because of some missteps when it came to the prolonged grief over the loss of my mom and parenting issues. I chalked it up to the fact that both of her parents are alive and very active and her child was 4 compared to mine being adults. I also felt Inwas too much of a mess when long term T passed. __________________
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Anonymous47147 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 14, 2020 at 08:35 PM #8 With my first therapist, yes all of the time. With this therapist, never.
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,014 10	Aug 15, 2020 at 07:51 AM #9 Oh, yes.
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Lonelyinmyheart Poohbah Member Since Jun 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 1,093 4 1,732 hugs given	Aug 15, 2020 at 09:10 AM #10 I've felt like this with every T I've seen. It doesn't mean it was true though. It's quite a common feeling in therapy especially for people who had less than adequate parenting. Sometimes it IS true but as others have said it only means the therapist isn't equipped with the right skills and training and doesn't mean the client is too much for anyone to cope with.
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here today Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2012 Location: USA Posts: 3,515 11 1,429 hugs given	Aug 15, 2020 at 11:37 AM #11 Yes, and unfortunately they couldn't, with not-so-very-good results for me. Glad it is working out for you and I hope things continue to go well for you.
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Amyjay Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Underground Posts: 2,439 7 692 hugs given	Aug 15, 2020 at 09:25 PM #12 I don't so much think that "my T can't handle me" as I don't have any expectations being "handled' or "coped with" in therapy, but I do quite often think that she doesn't have the skills I require her to have in order to get the help I need.
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seeker33 Poohbah Member Since Nov 2017 Location: Europe Posts: 1,417 6 1,603 hugs given	Aug 18, 2020 at 11:08 AM #14 Yes, sometimes it seems so. I am quite a complicated personality with many contradictions and it's difficult to guess what I want and need at a particular time. I alos have issues which aren't very common and require a specialist. But I think she is "good enough". __________________ Complex trauma Highly sensitive person I love nature, simplicity and minimalism
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