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Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Hungary
Posts: 142
4 65 hugs
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Sep 12, 2020 at 09:16 PM
#81
That sounds sensible on his part. Yeah, slow sucks
 but it's also good, I think. As much as I'd like to rush my own stuff, lol.
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
10 365 hugs
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Sep 21, 2020 at 03:37 PM
#82
So I had a rupture with Betterhelp T because he go so busy I felt I was just a number in his book. This is how a therapist fixes a rupture.
So it is not so much the message frequency that is an issue but the content and quality of the messages. The messages have left you feeling like I am only considering you as a number in my book and not as a valuable person. If that is the case, it actually hurts me a bit that you feel that way. I want to be helpful to you but I am also just a person. I have my own limitations. Absolutely, I would agree that with the crazy amount of activity in my life lately, I have been out of touch with my feelings. I have not really given myself time to be in them. I have just continued to move and it seems like you have felt the effects of this and I am sorry. And it makes sense now that you say it that you have internalized this change and perceived it as a slight against you. You have told me in the past that this is a tendency of yours though I did not take it into account and address it like I should have. That was a mistake that I made. We are both card carrying members of the human race, and what comes with that title is imperfection. Relationships have their ups and downs and that goes for long term therapeutic ones as well. However, from my experience, relationships can grow when they make it through the downs. I am scared to promise something that I can't deliver. But I am willing to do what I need to do to make this arrangement work alongside all of this other craziness going on __________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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 here today
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 here today, Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,515
11 1,429 hugs
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Sep 21, 2020 at 07:48 PM
#83
What would have helped? What about something like "That sounds like an awful feeling, for you to feel like you are just a number in my book."?
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Quietmind 2
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
10 365 hugs
given
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Sep 21, 2020 at 07:51 PM
#84
Quote:
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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| Amyjay
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Elio, here today, Quietmind 2
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
10 365 hugs
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Jan 29, 2021 at 08:23 PM
#85
I updated in my other post but I am updating that I ghosted my betterhelp T because he became useless and I was tired of the same protocol response of paraphrasing, validating and some stupid follow up question. It had not heart in it.
I am still crazy attached to Mr. T but I am surviving better between sessions I think because I have been finding a reason to email between sessions. Dear God I am so bad. Well we were getting the first vaccine the same week and he has some issues and I did not. Now I have no reason to email him this week.....lets see if my manipulative part can figure out a way to get some kind of connection with him until session on Thursday. __________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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| SalingerEsme, Taylor27
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here today, SalingerEsme
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,150
16 747 hugs
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Jan 30, 2021 at 08:39 PM
#86
Quote:
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MoxieDoxie
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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