[emmaleemochizuki]

So I started with my current T when I was 18, I am now 21. At that time I thought she was a pretty typical psychoanalytic therapist. She never really shared much about herself. And she seldom laughed, and her choices of words were usually more formal. It could be because I used to be a lot more formal in how I talk to her, but in the last year also I started being a lot more open and a lot more relaxed, and I don't talk in such a robotic way anymore.

I have noticed maybe as I start changing, my T also kind of changed the way she responds to me. There were more times she was more expressive in her tone, and make me felt more like I was talking to a real person, and it actually worked really well for me.

I guess over time I start to get a bit more comfortable of just being myself in front of her instead of always having a mask on. I start to show a bit more of my true personality, and as result she's probably doing the same to me as well.

my first therapist was too lively for her own good.

granted, it's better than being misserable, but she had one of those voice that screamed children's entertainer, not therapist- and at the end of each of our sessions, she'd play passenger by iggy pop (I don't know why she played that, but she insisted on it) and sometimes even bounce around the room. she was lovely, I liked her, but she did get carried away sometimes

my next few therapists were pretty mean, my next one came from romania and she always used the term, " I'm going to break you", when I was finding hard to say something to her. I had another insisted I washed my hands before session even if they were all ready clean, (if I didn't, no session), and another woman who demanded I pay her extra because she just wanted the money, not actually to treat the clients.

I had 1 therapist tell me to

Possible trigger:

kill myself if that's what I really want

I'm now on therapist number 9, who insists I'm a hopeless case and is on the verge of stopping seeing me

[MissUdy]

I think, like any relationship....as you get to know each other more and more then the connection becomes deeper/more authentic.

I have always had issues connecting with people, so in the beginning I projected everything on to my T. He wasn’t any of the things I had previously assumed. Now I really like seeing him (and other people) as they truly are. (As much as possible anyway )

[MissUdy]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I'm now on therapist number 9, who insists I'm a hopeless case and is on the verge of stopping seeing me

That’s horrible, you are not hopeless (even when you feel like it) there are no truly hopeless clients....only rubbish therapists that can’t handle their issues!

I volunteered for a helpline once, someone called and said they wanted to end their lives...the woman next to me told him to end his life then, if that’s what he wanted! I was so angry and still wonder what happened to the caller now. Some people have no compassion.

[Waterbear]

I have been working with my T for over 5 years now, and honestly, she hasn't changed a bit, except she has started to grow her hair because of the pandemic. That and the fact that she gets me much more now. I'm glad she hasn't changed much. I don't like change when jmit comes to this kind of thing. I need her to be a constant, and am so very grateful she has been that for me.

[Omers]

T and I have been together almost 2 years. The biggest change I have seen is his discovering that we are engaged in the process of therapy together (with different roles). He has had to let go of any kind of control over the process and let go of any hints of a power dynamic. Now we are together on an adventure with our own individual strengths, challenges and roles... it’s pretty awesome.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't think L has changed per say. I think she's just meeting me where I am.

I read part of Linehan's book. I remember reading something like this: There's a horizontal pole balancing on another pole over a huge canyon. Therapist is on one side, client on the other. If the client moves forward, so must the therapist otherwise the pole will tip and everyone will fall. Same goes if the client moves backwards, the therapist must move backwards.

I think that's what L is doing with me: meeting me where I'm at. If something is triggering me or too difficult for me, we back off and go more slowly. If I'm ready to talk about something, she encourages me and reassures me. If I start sharing, she mirrors and sometimes shares something that relates. If I come in excited, her energy increases. If I come in sad, she decreases her energy. If I need independence, she supports me and backs off a little on support. But if I need more support, she is there for me.

That's how I've experienced it. But her core-self hasn't changed. She has the same boundaries, same quirks, same disposition, etc.

[comrademoomoo]

I notice many changes in her. She is old and some of the changes are sad for me.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Mine were pretty consistent throughout. I think it was more me doing the changing than them - becoming more open, gaining some insight, etc.

Originally Posted by MissUdy

That’s horrible, you are not hopeless (even when you feel like it) there are no truly hopeless clients....only rubbish therapists that can’t handle their issues!

I volunteered for a helpline once, someone called and said they wanted to end their lives...the woman next to me told him to end his life then, if that’s what he wanted! I was so angry and still wonder what happened to the caller now. Some people have no compassion.

somehow that does not shock me

I have not had the greatest experiences with helplines

these include a woman focussed more on eating her sandwich than helping, and another woman tell me watch tv then and stop wasting my time.

I'm not sure sometimes how qualified these people are (like if they are just volunteers or if they actually have training).

personally, I would like to think that they don't just hire anyone (like you don't just walk in and say, I want to do this), you need a certain level of compassion.

and thanks for saying I am not useless. sure feels like it sometimes the way I have been treated by.. well, almost everyone

[stopdog]

The ones I hired did not seem to change.