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ScarletPimpernel
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Location: US
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#21
No. Mine has never been mean. In fact, she's almost too nice. That's why my dad nicknamed her Mary (for Mary Poppins - practically perfect in every way). Except she call my dad's dog "scruffy"...lol. He says that's why it's practically and not completely. But really, she's always nice; flaws and all.
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corbie
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Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: Hungary
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#22
My ex-T was sometimes ... not exactly mean, but she could get nasty in her reserved, passive-aggressive way (not on purpose, I'm fairly sure). Some of it was little things that I figured were understandable because I wasn't exactly making her job easy, or we could settle the issue afterwards. But when she got defensive and it all became about who was 'right' or whether something was her 'fault' or not? It got so out of hand in the end that I couldn't take it any longer.
My new T hasn't been mean so far. We had one session when she was not her usual self and that was very unsettling, but it turned out there were medical reasons for that. Quote:
Umm, that's not meant to imply that your situation is the same as mine was - I know that for me the right thing was to terminate, because therapy was literally doing more harm than good for the last few months. But I also suspect that as stupid as I feel for not terminating sooner, I'd feel just as stupid/otherwise horrible for other reasons had I done that. Also, I think the defensiveness and avoidance that did more damage than the actual 'meanness'. |
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RoxanneToto
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sarahsweets
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#23
I do not think its right one bit if a therapist is mean to the client. I dont care if they are having a bad day, bad stuff in their lives or whatever. They have a specific human-interactive job and meanness is not supposed to be part of it. The same goes with jokes, sarcasm etc.
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Mountaindewed
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#24
Basically what happened on Tuesday was she was very sick during the session and instead of cancelling it she did the session instead and just acted like she didn’t want to be there. I would have understood if she cancelled since I wasn’t feeling that great myself. But I had my weighted blanket so I was a lot more focused and talkative then I usually am during sessions. I actually ended a few minutes early because she was just kind of zoned out on webcam looking incredibly ill. I asked in email what was going on and she said it was right about the time the head cold was hitting. But when I first started the session she just immediately started jumping on me and giving me a hard time about weird stuff and I felt like she was mad at me about something and I was confused because I didn’t remember doing anything. I had had an amazing week before. and then I found out she was just not feeling good and it had nothing to do with me. But seriously cancel the session next time instead of just confusing me.
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LonesomeTonight
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isnupi
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Member Since: Sep 2020
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#25
Yes( very rarely, although). Therapists are not semi-gods; they are human beings.
Last edited by isnupi; Sep 13, 2020 at 05:29 AM.. Reason: Correction |
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ChickenNoodleSoup
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#26
Mine has been mean maybe once, where I told him that I don't do well if he's just sitting there in silence and then he continued to do exactly that. He later admitted that he wanted to push me a bit with that. But other than that there's never been anything that I'd describe as mean.
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Yzen
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Location: North America
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#27
My first T came close to being mean. In one appointment she was distracted and not listening closely. I asked her opinion and her response was 'you will figure it out'. Towards the end of the appointment she made a comment that she had to 'get somewhere so we were going to have to end early' and rushed me out of her office. Maybe that isn't mean, but it was thoughtless and unprofessional. I never went back to her.
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susannahsays
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#28
She sometimes comes across as irritable and impatient, or anxious about me or my life in a way where her worry translates to being domineering and a debbie downer. At times her emotions lead to her saying things in a somewhat unkind or dismissive way. When she is dismissive and I have addressed her lack of comprehension of how difficult a situation is, she has usually been receptive and shown more understanding in the future. I'm not sure I would call her mean at these times, because to me that insinuates a desire on her part to wound me and I think there are more accurate words to describe how she is acting (irritated, impatient, domineering) and why she is doing it. That doesn't necessarily mean her behavior is better than if I considered it mean, however. There's only one time I can think of where I felt she was sort of cruel, whether intentionally or not.
As a few other people have mentioned, your therapist's comment doesn't strike me as mean. It does sound like she was preoccupied with her own concerns and allowed that to seep into your session. I do agree with your conclusion that she shouldn't have been working if she felt so bad it negatively affected her interactions with you. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Amyjay
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#29
I had a therapist who was insensitive and mean to me one time. I don't think there is any therapeutic value in meanness.
My current T is unfailingly kind, even when "pushing" for more. |
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SlumberKitty
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#30
I saw one therapist for four sessions when I was looking for a new T. She was pretty thoughtless, cruel, pushy, and rude. I don't know if she was mean but I could definitely see meanness in her. The nicest she ever was to me was when I told her I wasn't coming back. Maybe it was just a personality thing. All of my other T's have been kind. Sometimes they are harsh but not mean.
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