Is your therapist ever mean to you?

Does she or he ever like make rude jokes or come across as being kind of mean? Mine does sometimes. Often it’s when she’s not feeling good. Last week I mentioned going for a covid test and then awhile later into the session she said “maybe I should go for a covid test.” And I said “you think you have covid?” And she said “no, sorry it was a bad joke.” Another time she had to apologize because she thought something she said sounded mean even though I didn’t take it that way.

Is your therapist ever mean? Do you ever say anything? I just ignore mine unless she’s being real obvious. And even then I just say something like “you seem distracted is something wrong?” Instead of asking why she’s being an asshole to me.

I feel like it's a test when they are mean, to see how we react. Although the meanest thing he ever did he claims not to have realised it was breaking my heart, even though it was glaringly obvious to me.
I don't know what it all means.

My therapist is never mean. I'm not sure how I would react if she ever was.

I had a few mean therapist myself. I finally left.

Never. I dont know what I would do if she was.

Yes - the woman I hired mocked me and humiliated me. She was horrible.

On a couple of occasions - usually end of year she gets wonky. It’s almost like she’s checked out and has little to no patience. I’ve called her out on it. She never remembers but always asks for details and will usually apologize - if warranted. Normally, she’s great; I adore her. But she’s never crossed lines or been terrible.

Mine has never been mean to me, ever. The worst she has been is distracted and that only one or two times in the years I've seen her.

No, she is unfailingly kind and compassionate towards me.

I’ve had some insist I know “something”, I.e. the first one, when I was very young (old enough to say what was going on but too young to understand how other people thought!) insisted I knew why my brother bullied me. Like, no, I have no idea. She was really aggressive about it and I found it scary! I only remember seeing her once.
Last one I saw seemed adamant I knew why I disliked my ex, while I honestly couldn’t come up with anything. Fair enough, I do know why now, but I was still in a bit of a fog then and it was only 18 months after I’d split up with him.

No never and I don't think a therapist is in a right profession if he needs to be mean intentionally to his clients! Of course there can be misunderstandings and disagreements, but just being mean and/or insulting is just wrong.

Never in a million years.

Mine would never do it intentionally. He did call me a “sharp edge” once when referring to how mouthy I can be especially when I was younger. I was super hurt by it and still get upset over it on occasion. It wasn’t intended to be mean but it felt like name calling and it hurt coming from him.

I wouldn't call what she did as being mean. More like a joke in poor taste.

I had a T who was mean. I left.

He is, when he's reminding me of where I've been in life and what I need to address to get better. I wouldn't change it

Only once, at our first appointment, when she thought I was more depressed than I was letting on. She made it known she would not hesitate to have me hospitalized if the need be; I love her for this and understand where her anger/concern came from. I look forward to our appointments every week. She is an amazing, caring person who is helping me a lot.

I also don't think her comment sounds like a mean thing for her to say, or at least I wouldn't have heard it as such.

It depends how we are defining "mean". My therapist is not deliberately unkind in a calculated way. However, she definitely has an unpleasant side to her nature and she has allows this into the room on occasion. She has raised her voice, sworn, told me that she finds it difficult to work with me, etc. This happens when she instinctively moves to care about herself and moves away from caring about me. She owns it and mostly apologises for it. It is hurtful and confusing for me.

Whilst this aspect of her is hard for me to be in relationship with, I also appreciate the real life nature of the interactions. It's a very powerful part of our relationship for me to have experienced the worst of her (and her of me) and for us to still have loving feelings. From the comments in this thread, it seems it is a therapy which wouldn't suit everyone, but it feels human to me. There's something deeply real about how we relate to each other. I know it is a common approach for therapists to take, but hearing about therapists who are only ever kind and caring seems unrealistic to me. How do the gritty parts of the relationship get addressed if they are never shown? I guess they can be shown in un-mean ways. I don't know. Sometimes I think I tolerate too much £hit from her because cruelty and harshness are familiar to me.

She was, once. But it was completely unintentional and she sent me an apology email, explaining what was going on in her life, and saying that I had done nothing wrong. I accepted her apology for 2 reasons. 1) She apologized. 2) I have had something similar to her family issue.

My T is occasionally thoughtless or says something I don't like, but that's not the same as being intentionally hurtful or "mean." I wouldn't work with someone who hurt me intentionally.

Unless there is more to what you say in your post, what you therapist said doesn't particularly sound mean. But I've known some truly mean people in my life, so my definition of mean may be a bit different.

But no, I've never had a therapist be mean to me in any way.