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emmaleemochizuki
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Default Sep 13, 2020 at 05:36 AM
  #1
So it's getting quite obvious that my T is pregnant but she still hasn't said anything about she is, or what her plans are regarding this. And it's making me anxious, cos I need to plan ahead and be prepared for things.

I don't have the guts to ask her directly about this, and I'm scared it's rude to just point that she is pregnant, incase I could be wrong I don't know. I just want to know in advance when she will be taking time off and how long.

anyway she's off for a week at the moment, and she said she won't be off again until Christmas but she normally takes two weeks off during Christmas and I'm not bothered about that. but I want to know whats happening if she is pregnant.

ugh its just frustrating.
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Salmon77
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Default Sep 13, 2020 at 08:45 AM
  #2
We spend so much time trying to guess other people's minds and situations, and it's really a waste of energy. Just ask her. It's the only way to know.
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Merope
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Default Sep 13, 2020 at 09:27 AM
  #3
I agree, I think it would be best to ask her directly. I think you’re perfectly in your right to do so, as it affects your therapy. I would need lots of notice if my T went on long term leave.
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Amyjay
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Default Sep 14, 2020 at 05:39 AM
  #4
I once become more and more certain that my current T was pregnant, over the course of several weeks. Eventually I became so worked up about it (my previous T had terminated with me when she was expecting) that I broke down and "accused" her of being pregnant.
She wasn't pregnant. She'd just been putting on weight.
Don't count your chickens (babies?) before they hatch (are conceived??)! Best thing you can do is ask and then deal with the reality rather than the fear.
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Thanks for this!
ElectricManatee
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Default Sep 14, 2020 at 09:53 AM
  #5
I once "accused" (nice word choice, Amyjay!) my T of being pregnant because I could not figure out why she was getting married to her partner so suddenly. She tried to deflect and explore the meaning of my question (one of those "that's quite a personal question, and I'm wondering why you are asking..." things), but eventually she caved and told me that she wasn't pregnant. It is probably relevant to the story that I was in the middle of trying to have a baby at the time.

She's a little beyond childbearing years now, but I have noticed that she has put on a bit of weight during the pandemic. Stress eating and not being able to do one's usual activities can do that kind of thing. Could it be that? Or are you pretty sure she's pregnant?

I admit I would probably feel uncomfortable just asking if it were because of things I noticed about her body. If that is the case, maybe you could ask if she has any long-term leaves planned in the next year or so? That is very relevant to your therapy, and if she says no, it seems quite likely that she isn't pregnant.
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Adyna
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Default Sep 14, 2020 at 12:12 PM
  #6
I'm sure she will be waiting for you to ask.

The fact you haven't asked about the bump shows her you don't ask people in your life important questions, and try to guess why they are the way they are...an ‘unhealthy’ way of relating. If she just came out and told you then your problem with being unable to ask questions would not get fixed.
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