Problem with short-term therapy

So, having waited for nearly two years I finally go to the top of the waiting list and stared a course of CBT 8 weeks ago. The therapist is the best therapist O have had (I have previously had a couple of other 8/12 week courses of therapy) and I do feel like she could help me, but I am really struggling because everything feels so overwhelming and I don't even know where to start, yet I only get 20 sessions with her.

I knew at the start that we only get 20 sessions, but it is so hard. It's partly anxiety that there is this huge pressure on me to make progress quickly because otherwise I'll just be left at the end feeling worse and with no other support (as has happened before) but at the moment I fell like I am not making any progress,, and every session things come up that she says we will go back to/work on later and that it's ok to make very slow progress, but the whole time I just feel like there is this big clock ticking away.

I guess the other problem is that she is pretty much the only person who is kind to me, and who believes in me but I also know that that's not real and will stop once we have had our maximum sessions and I she will just move onto the next person on the list and I will be left to deal with it on my own.

I hate this, I wish I'd never started it, or that she had been useless and so I wouldn't have cared that we only have a limited number of sessions but now I just feel more alone and hopeless than ever

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Dealing with the limitations of short-term therapy is tough, and it's so difficult that the people who need help the most are the ones least served by the 10-20 sessions model. I probably had about a hundred sessions with my current T before I was able to see the start of lasting changes. When you have big problems or a difficult past, it can take a lot of time.

I do think it's highly possible that your T cares about you and wants you to feel better. My T worked at a place that was increasingly pushing a short-term model, and eventually she quit because of it. She wanted to work with people for as long as they need to because she cares about helping people get better. Lots of people become therapists because they really do care about people and want to help. But still, I'm sorry that you're dealing with these limitations. I know it's hard to open up to somebody when you know that you won't see them for very long.

Is there any way for you to access longer term therapy? Or to devise a plan so that eventually you can access it? I am not familiar with the UK system, but maybe somebody here can help.

Thank you for replying. I think that this T does care about me and she believes that things can get better. I know that I can’t expect to be better after just 20 sessions and putting so much pressure on myself to make progress isn’t helping. I might talk to her about it next week.

Unfortunately I can’t afford private therapy and I have looked into any therapists who offer low cost options but there are none that I have found. I was having group therapy for a while but it doesn’t really work for me as I feel really uncomfortable wasting their time talking about myself. Plus, when I do have to talk about myself I know that it is hard for the others to hear me talk about

At the moment I just feel so bad and like I am wasting everybody’s time. I just don’t feel safe and there is nobody I can turn to about it.