FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
11 1 hugs
given |
#1
Is it ok to email your old T to see if she can give me other referrals. I don’t want my current T to know because the one before her went crazy when I canceled an appointment and left me with no referrals. I know old T said old clients would sometimes email her with updates so I am hoping my request wasn’t inappropriate. I haven’t seen her in five months. It was just short and business like so I don’t think it was too bad.
|
Reply With Quote |
Living Entity
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: La La Land
Posts: 28,949
(SuperPoster!)
9 2,365 hugs
given |
#2
It's ok. I'm sure that's done in the biz a lot. The worst she can do is not reply but I bet she will.
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,417
6 1,603 hugs
given |
#3
Yes, it's a common practice. I think it's OK to ask.
__________________ Complex trauma Highly sensitive person I love nature, simplicity and minimalism |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Michigan
Posts: 126
4 1 hugs
given |
#4
I think it's appropriate.
|
Reply With Quote |
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,739
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#5
I think that's totally fine.
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: In The Dojo
Posts: 196
4 1 hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
I think what you did was perfectly fine. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 6,991 hugs
given |
#7
I think it’s totally fine to ask, as well. The worst she can do is decline your request or not answer.
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#8
I would feel comfortable calling any of my past T’s and asking for a referral, even the one I haven’t worked with since 1997 if I thought she would have the best idea.
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
11 1 hugs
given |
#9
She said that because I haven’t seen her in 5 months that I need to talk to my current T but I don’t want my current T to know because the last one dropped me on the spot when she knew I was looking around.
|
Reply With Quote |
ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
|
Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
6 4,704 hugs
given |
#10
The one who dropped you on the spot sounds like an unprofessional jerk. Good therapists recognize that they won't be right for every single person who sees them, but obviously some therapists are deeply insecure and easily wounded. Do you see signs that your current T would do this too? Maybe you're better off cold-calling (cold-emailing?) a few potential therapists without a referral?
|
Reply With Quote |
LonesomeTonight
|
Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,739
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#11
Quote:
I agree re: the unprofessional jerk. My T has said if I want to take a break and see someone else and/or consult with someone else (which I've done), I'm welcome back at any time. And it might be better just to reach out to some T's on your own. Many will offer free 15-minute phone consultations or will at least answer a couple questions over email. |
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
11 1 hugs
given |
#12
I think I am self sabotaging myself because even with her flaws my old T and I had a great connection. I feel like I made a rash decision to leave her. I had just gotten out of the hospital. She is the one that put me there and within two weeks I started looking for a new T. I guess I was mad at her for sending me to the hospital. I guess I am still grieving the loss of that relationship.
|
Reply With Quote |
ElectricManatee, SlumberKitty
|
Reply |
|