Touch therapy

Lostislost · Sep 23, 2020 at 03:32 AM

I brought all the unmet needs stuff (another thread here) up with T yesterday. He said he trained with a woman who went on to do some kind of touch therapy, where she holds people, naked sometimes...verging on sexual but not quite. Depending what they want. I did not know this was a thing.

Anyone done anything like that? Would you do anything like that if you had the chance?

Gettingitsoon · Sep 23, 2020 at 06:13 AM

I would love hugs if they were given freely. Anything more does not appeal to me.

quietlylost · Sep 23, 2020 at 06:14 AM

I've never heard of it. I don't think I'd be comfortable with it myself.

ArtleyWilkins · Sep 23, 2020 at 08:18 AM

Naked? No way in heck! That honestly does not sound ethical at all.

I do think some people benefit from touch in therapy - done with safe boundaries and solid ethics.

I would definitely not want touch therapy. Coming from a history of sexual abuse, that would not have ever felt safe or appropriate.

nottrustin · Sep 23, 2020 at 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lostislost

I brought all the unmet needs stuff (another thread here) up with T yesterday. He said he trained with a woman who went on to do some kind of touch therapy, where she holds people, naked sometimes...verging on sexual but not quite. Depending what they want. I did not know this was a thing.

Anyone done anything like that? Would you do anything like that if you had the chance?

I would have zero interest. It takes a lot for me to trust people enough to want a hug and even then I need to be in the right space emotionally. I also only want hugs that happen organically through a caring relationship not something that happens solely as a business transaction.

ArtieTheSequal · Sep 23, 2020 at 10:11 AM

Less than zero interest if that's even possible, the idea of naked is appalling to me.

normal regular hugs, yes. Before the pandemic/zoom sessions anyway, t and I hugged at the end of every session. It started one time well into therapy when one day she said she felt like she wanted to give me a hug and I said yes please and then after that, one or the other of us would ask first, and then at some point I don't remember when it just became a thing.

Lostislost · Sep 23, 2020 at 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Less than zero interest if that's even possible, the idea of naked is appalling to me.

normal regular hugs, yes. Before the pandemic/zoom sessions anyway, t and I hugged at the end of every session. It started one time well into therapy when one day she said she felt like she wanted to give me a hug and I said yes please and then after that, one or the other of us would ask first, and then at some point I don't remember when it just became a thing.

I think, if me and my T had regular physical contact like you do, that would be enough for me.
It sounds really nice.

*Beth* · Sep 23, 2020 at 12:00 PM

WTH? Touch therapy is done by a touch therapist, not by the therapist you talk to and have an established relationship with. What is "verging on sexual, but not quite"? Something is either sexual (arousing) or it's not.

No. Just no.

Lostislost · Sep 23, 2020 at 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

WTH? Touch therapy is done by a touch therapist, not by the therapist you talk to and have an established relationship with. What is "verging on sexual, but not quite"? Something is either sexual (arousing) or it's not.

No. Just no.

He did say it wasn't ok with UKCP or anything so she must have set up her own business after she trained. I had just never heard of it before he said.

nottrustin · Sep 23, 2020 at 12:11 PM

[QUOTE=Lostislost;6939532]I think, if me and my T had regular physical contact like you do, that would be enough for me.

Valid point.

nottrustin · Sep 23, 2020 at 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Less than zero interest if that's even possible, the idea of naked is appalling to me.

normal regular hugs, yes. Before the pandemic/zoom sessions anyway, t and I hugged at the end of every session. It started one time well into therapy when one day she said she felt like she wanted to give me a hug and I said yes please and then after that, one or the other of us would ask first, and then at some point I don't remember when it just became a thing.

Both my Ts asked if they could give me a hug. With long term T she asked every week for a few weeks and then she stopped asking and just approached me at then of every session. Emdr T thought we had discussed hugs the session before and agreed that it would be appropriate. We never discussed hugs. We don't hug at the end of every session but most. If either of us want it we signal it. Once she signaled and I was upset so I ignored. I could never ask for a hug It would feel like they were really only doing it because I asked. I would not want to put them on the spot. In my therapy, hugs are a way of showing acceptance that they are not judging me as a gross horrible person

Before therapy, I was not a hugger at all all with the exception of my son who constantly craved hugs.

comrademoomoo · Sep 23, 2020 at 01:02 PM

I am interested in people saying that they wouldn't feel comfortable paying for physical contact - and yet we pay for emotional contact in therapy. What is the difference for people? I have a similar response to touch combined with money, but I am not sure why. Not wanting touch at all in therapy makes sense to me because it's risky for some and alien for some. Also, craniosacral or somatic therapy can involve touch, are those therapies similarly uncomfortable?

Obviously, naked and borderline sexual touch in any kind of therapeutic setting sounds vile to me.

nottrustin · Sep 23, 2020 at 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I am interested in people saying that they wouldn't feel comfortable paying for physical contact - and yet we pay for emotional contact in therapy. What is the difference for people? I have a similar response to touch combined with money, but I am not sure why. Not wanting touch at all in therapy makes sense to me because it's risky for some and alien for some. Also, craniosacral or somatic therapy can involve touch, are those therapies similarly uncomfortable?

Obviously, naked and borderline sexual touch in any kind of therapeutic setting sounds vile to me.

for me, when I have started with a therapist I have an emotional wall up I can only give facts and often push them away emotionally. Consequently, I also lack trust in them especially to trust their motivations. It is only through time and them proving themselves that I allow any emotions at all. It took a few months with current T and I certainly did t want hug. Even shaking hands was awkward because that meant they were in my personal space.

With hug therapy I wouldn't be able to build the rapport and trust. Maybe it all has to do with the fact that my user used hugs to his advantage.

comrademoomoo · Sep 23, 2020 at 01:34 PM

I suppose I was imagining that touch focussed therapy would also involve trust building and safety. Maybe boundaries would be even more essential.

I don't know. It is curious to me that emotional connection is more readily experienced (and paid for) than somatic connection. Is it because we mix somatic with sexual, especially those of us who have experienced sexual trauma?

Rive. · Sep 23, 2020 at 01:51 PM

I do not find this appealing at all.

Far from ethical. Slippery slope notwithstanding, I would most certainly not like to be touched by any random person.

Shotokan · Sep 23, 2020 at 02:00 PM

It doesn't sound like therapy. It sounds almost like prostitution. Either way, it is probably very unethical.

ElectricManatee · Sep 23, 2020 at 02:27 PM

I don't have any problem with people paying for touch (sexual or not), but I wouldn't have any interest in this kind of thing. I don't even like massages, and all the touch involved in having to get physical therapy made me cringe.

*Beth* · Sep 23, 2020 at 03:12 PM

I am a sexual abuse survivor. I love hugs from people I trust (usually women, such as my therapist). I don't have any particular problem with being touched by, for example, a doctor or massage therapist I get a good feeling from. That said, the "touch therapy" thing sounds highly awkward and even unprofessional. I'm still saying No to this one.

comrademoomoo · Sep 23, 2020 at 03:28 PM

I am not advocating for this kind of therapy. I was just interested in why we are reacting so strongly against it. There is a curious nuance to be looked at between accepting emotional intimacy and rejecting body intimacy from paid professionals. After all, if we have experienced sexual abuse, we have experienced emotional abuse. Anyway. Nevermind. As you were.

nottrustin · Sep 23, 2020 at 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I am not advocating for this kind of therapy. I was just interested in why we are reacting so strongly against it. There is a curious nuance to be looked at between accepting emotional intimacy and rejecting body intimacy from paid professionals. After all, if we have experienced sexual abuse, we have experienced emotional abuse. Anyway. Nevermind. As you were.

I think it is a great conversation. You have brought ups some good points to ponder.

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Gettingitsoon Member Member Since Feb 2016 Location: Usa Posts: 160 8 22 hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 06:13 AM #2 I would love hugs if they were given freely. Anything more does not appeal to me.
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quietlylost Member Member Since Mar 2020 Location: Michigan Posts: 126 4 1 hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 06:14 AM #3 I've never heard of it. I don't think I'd be comfortable with it myself.
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ArtleyWilkins Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: USA Posts: 2,787 5 7 hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 08:18 AM #4 Naked? No way in heck! That honestly does not sound ethical at all. I do think some people benefit from touch in therapy - done with safe boundaries and solid ethics. I would definitely not want touch therapy. Coming from a history of sexual abuse, that would not have ever felt safe or appropriate.
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 12:00 PM #8 WTH? Touch therapy is done by a touch therapist, not by the therapist you talk to and have an established relationship with. What is "verging on sexual, but not quite"? Something is either sexual (arousing) or it's not. No. Just no. __________________
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nottrustin Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: n/a Posts: 4,819 10 375 hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 12:11 PM #10 [QUOTE=Lostislost;6939532]I think, if me and my T had regular physical contact like you do, that would be enough for me. Valid point. __________________
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,014 10	Sep 23, 2020 at 01:51 PM #15 I do not find this appealing at all. Far from ethical. Slippery slope notwithstanding, I would most certainly not like to be touched by any random person.
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Shotokan Member Member Since Jan 2020 Location: In The Dojo Posts: 196 4 1 hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 02:00 PM #16 It doesn't sound like therapy. It sounds almost like prostitution. Either way, it is probably very unethical.
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ElectricManatee Magnate Member Since May 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 2,515 6 4,704 hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 02:27 PM #17 I don't have any problem with people paying for touch (sexual or not), but I wouldn't have any interest in this kind of thing. I don't even like massages, and all the touch involved in having to get physical therapy made me cringe.
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Sep 23, 2020 at 03:12 PM #18 I am a sexual abuse survivor. I love hugs from people I trust (usually women, such as my therapist). I don't have any particular problem with being touched by, for example, a doctor or massage therapist I get a good feeling from. That said, the "touch therapy" thing sounds highly awkward and even unprofessional. I'm still saying No to this one. __________________
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comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,714 5	Sep 23, 2020 at 03:28 PM #19 I am not advocating for this kind of therapy. I was just interested in why we are reacting so strongly against it. There is a curious nuance to be looked at between accepting emotional intimacy and rejecting body intimacy from paid professionals. After all, if we have experienced sexual abuse, we have experienced emotional abuse. Anyway. Nevermind. As you were.
	Reply With Quote