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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,734
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9 74.9k hugs
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#401
Dear T,
H yelled at D again tonight, and it was particularly upsetting to me, because D just wanted to draw with H. I know he was frustrated because he was in the middle of something, but his tone really bothered me. And she was crying. (I offered to draw with her, but she didn't want me.) And I spoke up over text, when he tried to justify what happened. I said it still wasn't OK to speak to her that way. And he didn't really say anything in response to that, just talked about something else. But, at least I tried, right? I just wish he'd have at least apologized or something...He did eventually draw with her, but still... It helps that you validate my feelings about this. Wish you could overhear some of it. Love, LT |
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ArtieTheSequal, Lemoncake, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Quietmind 2
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
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6 10.2k hugs
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#402
Things between us have actually been going super well, but I still feel like in my heart i know I need to stop for now. Maybe it's just because of of the stuff we've been talking about and I want to avoid all of that, but I feel like it's too much and more than I can handle on top of trying to study for school.
I hope you can understand. ----- Dear Mr S, Thank you for all the times you have been there for me. At this point I feel like stopping therapy is right for me. Please don't wait for me and please cancel my next appointment. I would like to not reschedule anymore sessions for now either. Best wishes, S P.s Please keep those books safe for me and I will collect them when I'm eventually back in London. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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Amyjay, ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,128
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7 8,747 hugs
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#403
I kind of want to email you because I am worried about the session this coming Tuesday and how you will react. I feel like emailing you beforehand would be helpful. But I don’t want to ask my mom for your email and have her ask me stuff.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2015
Location: Philadelphia PA.
Posts: 1,291
8 28 hugs
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#404
I am grateful for you listening to me and your support with dealing with my self esteem issues.
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LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
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#405
Friday is a long way away. Stupid holidays.
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LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
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#406
Sometimes just really hurts.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
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#407
I feel so raw because of what happened earlier tonight and my mind keeps dredging up other painful things. Feels like salt in a wound. Hope I feel better tomorrow.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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LonesomeTonight, MissUdy, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
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#408
I told you that I found your wife's public instagram account a while ago, but back then she only had three photos in 2017. Now she's been uploading much more frequently . I didn't want to tell you because she might obviously make it private like with her facebook account, but I like seeing more insights into your home like your piano and your posters in your dinning room. But it kinda hurts a bit seeing you with your daughter picking out a Christmas tree.
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,128
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,747 hugs
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#409
The biggest thing I am preoccupied with regarding my move is what my next therapist will be like. I am barely thinking of what the house will look like, or my new job. I am just really focused on what therapy will be like. You had an impact on me that I hope and won’t hope will be easy to replace.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: Toodlepip
Posts: 1,711
5 |
#410
Can we meet at the beach again or was that a one-time thing? I mean, whatever, I don't care. I don't care if I don't see you waving at me across the sand again. It was stupid anyway. And remember when we came across the drawing in the sand? I mean, whatever. That was stupid too.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,222
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4 5,754 hugs
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#411
we seriously need to talk.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
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#412
Can you make tomorrow not suck, please?
(Yes, I realize that I also contribute to it not sucking. But still.) |
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: SpACE
Posts: 597
14 141 hugs
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#413
Back to feeling that disconnection, and not so hopeful that things will be the same ever. Back to feeling so distant and unsure if therapy is working. Amazing how things change so fast. How you matter so much and now i think i can let you go! Though i am feeling very depersonalized at the moment. Even the phone i am trying on feels fake. My thoughts seem slow and moments too. At times time seems as though its frozen, i call for you and no sound. This is so unreal. At times not sure i want to be real, i continue to not see what is in front of me and missing the important things. Its all in my head though. All in my head.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
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#414
Honestly think I've made a mistake.
Stopping therapy before a exam is NOT a good idea. I'm feeling so much more anxious. Hope you can offer me an extra session. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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ArtieTheSequal, chihirochild, ElectricManatee, jrae, just2b, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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5 117.7k hugs
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#415
Thanks for being lovely on Saturday and trying to help me with the hallucinations.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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jrae, just2b, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,734
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
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#416
Dear T,
Thanks for handling my fear about your dying so well. I think I just needed to get that out. I feel a bit calmer now, like a weight has been lifted from me. And thanks for the unsolicited reassurance about the thing with H at the end. It helps to know you understand how hard it is to have that sort of talk. Love, LT |
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jrae, SlumberKitty
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,222
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,754 hugs
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#417
After that thing h said that i told you about last week, well he said something yesterday that made me feel the same way all over again and worse and I'm never eating again. He made me feel fat, and ugly, and undeserving.
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chihirochild, GingerBee, just2b, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Member
Member Since Jun 2008
Location: WYLTK
Posts: 763
15 410 hugs
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#418
December is going to suck, which you might agree if you knew about it.... is this the year i finally say 'screw it' and don't do ANY holiday stuff?! (and be done with everyone - IRL)
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just2b, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#419
Quote:
I have no safety net. I live alone and I feel really really bad. I searched and found my own post from the 22nd october 2020. Another crisis and I've talked about exactly the same thing that I could not reach you despite even giving you a missed call. Yes I did get through it eventually but it so was very hard. I'm asking for extra help and I feel like you can't see me at all. I'm angry but mainly at myself for putting up with this. Maybe I am just being manipulative and dramatic but please do cancel my upcoming session and I won't be paying for not attending this time. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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chihirochild, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 402
3 612 hugs
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#420
I am so happy you encouraged me not to deflect and to stick with the subject of loss today, and it amazes me that something can seem impossible one minute, and easy enough just a couple of minutes later, with your understanding and kind words. You are helping me feel alive, and have a life again, and that is worth every penny and SO much more. You deserve a medal
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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