Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

just2b · Dec 01, 2020 at 11:55 PM

Sent a hello text as i have urges of reaching out to you and did so. Not expecting a response. Session on the 10th and really still unsure if will continue into 2021. I am giving up on the VA to straighten up the Optum credentials or whatever is going on. 90 plus days, been since August!!! If i hear its not forever one more ****ing time i will blow it!!! So used to be screwed by the ****ing VA.

I think i should let you go. And yet feel i need to stay with you incase something bad happens as i sense that all the time. I could start on a good bye letter and make an appointment or send it to you after Dec appt if i decide to leave you. Something to think about. 7 years Dec 3rd... really only made it 6 years 8 months.

Lemoncake · Dec 02, 2020 at 01:42 AM

Not even 8am and I'm already crying.

I'm so very sad.

Lostislost · 06:59 AM

...........

Merope · Dec 02, 2020 at 09:24 AM

They’ve approved the vaccine over here...maybe I’ll get to see you f2f by spring 2021. It’s what’s keeping me going tbh....I hope it happens. Every cell in my body aches for it to happen.

Lemoncake · Dec 02, 2020 at 12:59 PM

Maybe it is my fault. You did ask at the end of our last session if I wanted a second session in general. On friday I was okay though. Is it okay for me to leave because I want to be treated better, or am I just being dramatic and it's like you said I "wanted you on tap" and I need to learn to be more dependent but using your method is so painful.

I'm just a spoiled brat. Don't have anything to complain about.

I've been too ill to actually study two days in a row and I'm running out of time for an exam 13 days away.

chihirochild · Dec 02, 2020 at 04:40 PM

How could you leave that text message unanswered? You don't give a s--- about me and you never have. This whole project is all just an onanistic power trip for you, isn't it? You like how much your patients need you and how much you can think Deep Effing Thoughts about them and write about them and that's it. My life, my personhood, means nothing to you.

You're trying to fix something that happened to you as a child by becoming a professional and treating narcissists like your father, but you know what? It'll never work. You're still going to be the same wimpy pathetic piece of crap you always have been, and that will never change.

I'm not showing up to session on Friday. Send the police to my house; see if I care.

*Beth* · Dec 02, 2020 at 05:52 PM

Haha, you didn't think I'd remember that the "Me Day" you're taking off is your birthday. Caught ya off guard!

LonesomeTonight · Dec 02, 2020 at 06:52 PM

Dear T,
Could you please decide what you're doing with time off at the end of the year? I guess before when I mentioned it, I figured it might just be a couple days off. Then today I asked about a week, and you said you really should get on figuring that out. So...could you try to do that so I have a little notice and time for us to discuss it if it's going to be like a 10-day thing? Because I haven't gone more than a few days without "seeing" you since March, and for the past 6 months or so, I think the longest stretch has been maybe 4 days? So...I just want to know is all. Of course, the needy and selfish part of me doesn't want you to take more than a few days off, but you also really deserve a break. I just don't want to only find out about it a few days before.

Love,
LT

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 02, 2020 at 08:18 PM

By the way, you looked lovely this afternoon. That dark green color is really you, you should wear it more often.

Mountaindewed · Dec 03, 2020 at 01:46 AM

I think you are going to discontinue seeing me very soon. I told that T in 2018 my main issue was not my autism. I was very persistent. Guess who was right all along? Thanks for being traumatic.

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 03, 2020 at 07:58 AM

one more session then we won't be seeing each other for awhile... I am so happy for you that you're taking a real vacation after all this time, you do deserve it! you've put up with me for a long time, dude. i know i'm not always a picnic haha.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 03, 2020 at 09:25 AM

Thank you for your support this morning. It was a helluva session.

You're a visual thinker, I think in songs. Your reminder at the end of session today made me think of this.

All Things Must Pass (1997)

George's last public performance.

KLL85 · Dec 03, 2020 at 09:42 AM

And just like the rest of them you let me down. I know I’m being probably being unreasonable and the hurt, angry and lonely little child has taken over but I hate you right now. Just f***k off and leave me alone. You’ve never understood me anyway. You don’t have the knowledge or experience to handle someone like me, just admit it rather than pretending you’re Mr Awesome. Urgh you make me sick.

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 03, 2020 at 10:31 AM

I also wanted to say that I kinda like it when it feels like you don't want me to leave any more than I want to leave. I wish we could have talked for another coupla hours yesterday.

Mountaindewed · Dec 03, 2020 at 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I think you are going to discontinue seeing me very soon. I told that T in 2018 my main issue was not my autism. I was very persistent. Guess who was right all along? Thanks for being traumatic.

Yup. Just got your list of referrals if I don’t go to the hospital for an assessment. Why do I not care.

Mountaindewed · Dec 04, 2020 at 04:27 AM

I know you have other clients and I’m not the first one in crisis and it is your weekend. But I find it a little bit rude to put up your “out of office” email before responding to my first email and then put it up the second I sent my second one. You never used to put up out of office emails during the weekend and I always respected that but this just seems odd.

Lostislost · Dec 04, 2020 at 05:04 AM

Last night I spent a long time trying to fall asleep. I heard a huge noise, like a band testing out instruments. It sounded like it came from downstairs, but it scared me and paralysed my legs with fear. While I couldn’t move my legs, I was thinking what instruments I heard...maybe a keyboard? Some kind of guitar. Definitely symbols being clashed together. I opened my eyes and everything was swirling in a cloud of smoke. Finally fell asleep, but woken up really anxious and sick this morning.

Mountaindewed · Dec 04, 2020 at 01:37 PM

You finally gave me an ulcer.

You suck.

chihirochild · Dec 04, 2020 at 01:38 PM

Why are you holding on hope that we can keep working together? Are you delusional? Just be sad with me, ok?

velcro003 · Dec 04, 2020 at 11:21 PM

its nice to get an actual hour with you. it'll be rough to go back to such a shortened time in January.

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLV

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Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Dec 02, 2020 at 01:42 AM #422 Not even 8am and I'm already crying. I'm so very sad. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
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Lostislost Veteran Member Member Since May 2020 Location: Uk Posts: 557 3 890 hugs given	Dec 02, 2020 at 05:19 AM #423 ........... Last edited by Lostislost; Dec 02, 2020 at 06:59 AM..
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Merope Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Somewhere in a cloud Posts: 719 6 479 hugs given	Dec 02, 2020 at 09:24 AM #424 They’ve approved the vaccine over here...maybe I’ll get to see you f2f by spring 2021. It’s what’s keeping me going tbh....I hope it happens. Every cell in my body aches for it to happen.
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Dec 02, 2020 at 05:52 PM #427 Haha, you didn't think I'd remember that the "Me Day" you're taking off is your birthday. Caught ya off guard! __________________
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,219 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,754 hugs given	Dec 02, 2020 at 08:18 PM #429 By the way, you looked lovely this afternoon. That dark green color is really you, you should wear it more often.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,123 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,737 hugs given	Dec 03, 2020 at 01:46 AM #430 I think you are going to discontinue seeing me very soon. I told that T in 2018 my main issue was not my autism. I was very persistent. Guess who was right all along? Thanks for being traumatic. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,219 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,754 hugs given	Dec 03, 2020 at 07:58 AM #431 one more session then we won't be seeing each other for awhile... I am so happy for you that you're taking a real vacation after all this time, you do deserve it! you've put up with me for a long time, dude. i know i'm not always a picnic haha.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,219 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,754 hugs given	Dec 03, 2020 at 10:31 AM #434 I also wanted to say that I kinda like it when it feels like you don't want me to leave any more than I want to leave. I wish we could have talked for another coupla hours yesterday.
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,123 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,737 hugs given	Dec 04, 2020 at 01:37 PM #438 You finally gave me an ulcer. You suck. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Dec 04, 2020 at 01:38 PM #439 Why are you holding on hope that we can keep working together? Are you delusional? Just be sad with me, ok?
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Dec 04, 2020 at 11:21 PM #440 its nice to get an actual hour with you. it'll be rough to go back to such a shortened time in January.
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