Couch 220: Second To None!

ElectricManatee · Oct 29, 2020 at 02:07 PM

If the T doesn't understand BPD and know how to work with it, the chances that they're eventually going to get frustrated and start blaming you (thus making you feel even worse) are dangerously high. I think you are wise to find somebody with more experience. I really like DBT for managing emotional intensity/reactivity, but I'm not sure how accessible that is to you there.

My DBT T uses a mix of modalities once things are stable enough to go deeper, so maybe that's an option? (EMDR, IFS, probably other acronyms I'm not remembering right now) I do agree that DBT is more focused on symptoms than root causes, but I think the root causes are going to be behind impenetrable barriers unless you can get a handle on the symptoms first.

ETA: My borderline traits are not bothersome enough to warrant a BPD diagnosis, so take my experience with a grain of salt.

zoiecat · Oct 29, 2020 at 02:08 PM

I think DBT is great for everyone. I do not have BPD but I have made great strides forward with DBT skills. It is especially helpful with emotional regulation. I found the relationship skills the least helpful only because I do not have problems in that area.

susannahsays · Oct 29, 2020 at 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daisydid

DBT can be helpful for BPD, but it’s not the only modality that’s effective. It’s just heavily researched. This is not an attack on DBT; I’m finding the skills very helpful. But I guess it just seems to me that DBT treats symptoms but not the root cause.

I agree, but I would add that treating the cause doesn't always resolve symptoms. I guess an imperfect analogy would be if you're an alcoholic, get treated for your alcoholism and no longer drink, you can still experience physical consequences even when you're in recovery.

susannahsays · Oct 29, 2020 at 02:34 PM

Speaking of BPD, I asked the therapist recently if I had it. She said no, but it also sounded like she just doesn't like that diagnosis and would be unlikely to give it to anyone. So I don't know.

ETA - She seemed somewhat baffled by the question and wanted to know why I thought I might have BPD. She also said she sees my primary problem as DID. So then I explained to her that I saw a comment by some therapist on reddit that said every person she's every seen who has been diagnosed with DID was actually just extreme BPD.

ScarletPimpernel · Oct 29, 2020 at 02:54 PM

I didn't mean to say DBT is the only modality that works with BPD. T and L are both psychodynamic, DBT, as well as a few others. We deal with the symptoms and their roots. It is really hard though, in my experience, to deal with root issues and not having the coping skills to deal with the reactions due to bringing up the trauma.

chihirochild · Oct 29, 2020 at 02:57 PM

One of my favorite titles of an academic paper *ever* is "The Beginning of Wisdom is Never Calling a Patient a Borderline"

comrademoomoo · Oct 29, 2020 at 03:17 PM

BPD, DID, various psychotic illnesses, self-harm, eating disorders, and so on, are trauma responses which have been medicalised and turned into over-complicated conditions in order to make doctors feel important and to keep survivors (often over-diagnosed women) in a marginalised position.

chihirochild · Oct 29, 2020 at 03:51 PM

Ugh. I hate myself. Out of the blue, I hate myself.

Lemoncake · Oct 29, 2020 at 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

One of my favorite titles of an academic paper *ever* is "The Beginning of Wisdom is Never Calling a Patient a Borderline"

R actually never told me for 9 months when we first started and it was something I asked him about.

Thanks going to have read!

Lemoncake · Oct 29, 2020 at 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

Ugh. I hate myself. Out of the blue, I hate myself.

Is there anything going on the background since you came back from your trip?

chihirochild · Oct 29, 2020 at 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Is there anything going on the background since you came back from your trip?

I rejoined a dating app. That might be contributing. Guys are biting but even being on the app reminds me that I'm 31 and single

atisketatasket · Oct 29, 2020 at 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Assumes facts not in evidence! Your describing a different situation, not offering a different interpretation of what happened. But my interpretation could still hold, just changes which weenie blinked first.

You’re assuming whole scenes and psychological motives not in evidence.

But obviously weenies blink. They have an eye.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

I rejoined a dating app. That might be contributing. Guys are biting but even being on the app reminds me that I'm 31 and single

You’re not bait and they’re not fish.

I admit I don’t understand why you (or a number of other women I know) think singlehood is such a judgment on you.

SlumberKitty · Oct 29, 2020 at 04:55 PM

Took Esther to the vet last night. I was really afraid it was going to be her kidneys. Turns out she has a super bad infection. Her white blood cell count was more than double what it should be. They did a bunch of tests on her and gave her fluids because she was dehydrated. Then they gave her an antibiotic shot that is supposed to work for 14 days. (She's been on antibiotics twice in as many months but I don't think it's cleared up the infection. So I am hoping this does.) They sent us home with two medications for her. I'm trying to get the results from one of her tests that she had done but they said they just got the results an hour ago and the doctor is on a break and yada yada yada. Excuses, excuses. They don't know what caused the infection but I think it is her bladder which is what was infected before. I think her bladder keeps getting infected and her body is trying to fight the infection but the infection is so strong it weakens her.

SlumberKitty · Oct 29, 2020 at 04:56 PM

Been busy at work today. I paid some bills. I did some training. I wrote five policy and procedures and now I'm exhausted! I still have to go home and pack! I'm going to my sister's this weekend. My nephew is turning 13. I can't believe he's going to be a man in a couple of days! What happened to my little boy?!!

SlumberKitty · Oct 29, 2020 at 05:00 PM

Ordered flowers for my boss on Monday. Its her birthday. I hope it looks like the picture because flowers are hella expensive.

On another less exciting note, I get to scan 171 drawers full of papers and files. I'll have job security for life! They are even ordering me a high powered scanner to get the job done! Ha! As if it will ever actually be completed.

NP_Complete · Oct 29, 2020 at 05:05 PM

I'm not sure I'd consider a 13 yo a man. That's still a kid.

SlumberKitty · Oct 29, 2020 at 05:07 PM

Washed my hair with clarifying shampoo Monday and Wednesday. It does seem to help my hair not be as oily but my hair is really flat now. I don't know what to think.

SlumberKitty · Oct 29, 2020 at 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I'm not sure I'd consider a 13 yo a man. That's still a kid.

Not if you get a Bar Mitzvah.

Daffydungle · Oct 29, 2020 at 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I'm not sure I'd consider a 13 yo a man. That's still a kid.

In my family it was considered the beginning of adulthood and a huge celebration

NP_Complete · Oct 29, 2020 at 05:10 PM

So do you become a woman at 13 too?

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Couch 220: Second To None!

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zoiecat Grand Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: USA Posts: 916 7 409 hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 02:08 PM #822 I think DBT is great for everyone. I do not have BPD but I have made great strides forward with DBT skills. It is especially helpful with emotional regulation. I found the relationship skills the least helpful only because I do not have problems in that area.

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 02:57 PM #826 One of my favorite titles of an academic paper ever is "The Beginning of Wisdom is Never Calling a Patient a Borderline"

comrademoomoo Grand Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: Toodlepip Posts: 1,711 5	Oct 29, 2020 at 03:17 PM #827 BPD, DID, various psychotic illnesses, self-harm, eating disorders, and so on, are trauma responses which have been medicalised and turned into over-complicated conditions in order to make doctors feel important and to keep survivors (often over-diagnosed women) in a marginalised position.

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 03:51 PM #828 Ugh. I hate myself. Out of the blue, I hate myself.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 04:56 PM #834 Been busy at work today. I paid some bills. I did some training. I wrote five policy and procedures and now I'm exhausted! I still have to go home and pack! I'm going to my sister's this weekend. My nephew is turning 13. I can't believe he's going to be a man in a couple of days! What happened to my little boy?!! __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,808 7 6,352 hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 05:05 PM #836 I'm not sure I'd consider a 13 yo a man. That's still a kid.

SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 05:07 PM #837 Washed my hair with clarifying shampoo Monday and Wednesday. It does seem to help my hair not be as oily but my hair is really flat now. I don't know what to think. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA

NP_Complete Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: the upside down Posts: 3,808 7 6,352 hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 05:10 PM #840 So do you become a woman at 13 too?