Couch 220: Second To None!

I've definitely had "aha" moments.

And for editing themselves while speaking, I think everyone does do that, I just do it more than most (I notice myself doing that, too).

I have memory foam for my bed, but I still need memory foam for my camping setup. Next trip to REI I’ll see what they’ve got.

I need memory foam on my work chair

that certainly isn't true for me.... I think I had LESS aha moments early on because I was so deeply in hiding from myself. Although I'm sure L had a lot of them about me back then. I hope you enjoy the beach!

I had a pretty good session with Regular T on Saturday except that I was very very tired. I kept leaning on my arm kind of propping up my head. I came home and slept like 2 hours so I don't know if it is therapy that exhausted me or just everything caught up to me at once. That sometimes happens to me. T talked to me about being able to self comfort and how to do that and we talked about maybe having a ritual as an ending to a negative habit/addiction. I'm not sure what that would look like but I am looking through my religion to see if I can find a ritual that might work. Might have to do it more than once. She's excited about the art project I'm working on and she wants to see it. Next appointment would have been on Halloween but I'm going to be visiting my sister and family so I will be out of town. So I'll see her in four weeks. She offered me 3 weeks but I told her if I am in crisis I'll schedule otherwise I'll wait til the 4 weeks. I'm leaning towards wrapping up therapy maybe beginning of next year. Or at least this round of therapy. Might need more in the future. But the more I can go four weeks in between the more sure I am that I can go longer periods without needing T. I haven't talked to T about wrapping up beginning of next year, it's just been in my brain that, that might be a good time. I'm starting to feel done.

My friend died this morning. He was older but he has young kids, like IDK, six and under. He leaves behind a wife too. I'm really sad. This is the third person I know who died this year. None from Covid. But my friend in NC just told me she tested positive for Covid on Friday.

Damn, Kit. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Always hurts to lose a friend.

I'm listening to the audiobook :The Lehman trilogy and really like it so far.

The only other US banker I've heard of is Bernie.

I'm sorry for your loss Kit.

Do you have anyone around you right now?

I'm so sorry, Kit.

Therapists have had aha moments about me. I have not had any about myself. Like early on Info wanted to do a family tree, genograph thing. I let her because she was so excited. So she’s down on the floor on hands and knees drawing on a big piece of paper and making notes, and I was answering her questions boredly.

Info: So there it is! There’s a history of depression and alientation in your family!
ATAT: Yes, I know.
(Long beat)
Info (irritatedly): Well, I wish you’d told me that!
ATAT: I did...

They say therapy is like taking a class in yourself. For me, it’s more like giving one.

Lone dog and new cat are snickering over this Twitter thread showing how corgis always look corgis whatever breed they're crossed with.

I especially like the Dalmatian corgi.

I'm so sorry, Kit...

So sorry for your loss, Kit.

Thanks for posting the corgis, @@. I was partial to the Rottweiler mix. Reminded me of a dog a friend used to have that was part Rottweiler and part Cocker Spaniel. He was a good dog.

My homework from L!* this week was to engage in positive behavioral activation, so I went to go get my nails done. They’re painted Tiffany blue, which makes me happy.



*New therapist L! has an exclamation point after his name because he uses an annoying amount of exclamation points in correspondence. He’s an okay guy otherwise thus far.

Session did not go as planned. She forgot her keys to the office, so as I pulled up, she was leaving. Totally triggered my abandonment fears. Spent the whole session crying and trying to cope. A waste of a session again

Scared for session tomorrow morning. I’m exhausted so I’m likely to fall asleep pretty fast, but I’ll probably wake up early tomorrow morning and have to wait in agony until 11am. Ugh.

At least I’m done with work for a bit; that’s nice.

Oh that sucks, I'm sorry...

logging into class praying i don't get called tonight to do my presentation. so nervous!!!!!!

You need to stopdog him, pronto.

Other highlights of new cat’s day besides that twitter thread included crashing a University Executive Council Zoom meeting. She wanted her treat. I put her on the floor quickly and hoped no one noticed.

Well I decided to stop praying to not be called on, and instead volunteered (to get it over with). I did my presentation and made it through the whole thing and answered questions my classmates asked. Whew, glad that's over with.