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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,238
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,771 hugs
given |
#501
Quote:
Ugh I hope not too. I was so worried about L when she had it. |
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SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,762
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#502
Quote:
Hope you feel better soon, Artie, and that it's not Covid. |
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SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,762
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#503
Quote:
Hugs, I hope he doesn't have Covid... Did he say if he's going to get tested? |
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SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#504
I know it’s not a great idea to take my sleep meds at 7pm but I’m afraid if I don’t I’ll
Possible trigger:
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,412
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,422 hugs
given |
#505
Have you tried any of the coping skills for this? Nail polish on your nails, white glue on your skin? Some of that charcoal face masks/wax?Wear bandaids on your finger tips? Make sure you cut your nails? Wear gloves?
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
SlumberKitty
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chihirochild, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
Posts: 3,808
7 6,352 hugs
given |
#506
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,868
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.4k hugs
given |
#507
I used to have the perfect apartment for skin picking. Huge east facing window, comfy loveseat up against the window. The sunlight i swear just magnified the ingrown hairs and tiny golden oil plugs on my forearms. I could pick my skin and be late for work at the same time, dual compulsions!
Then one day i was in a tech class, and the instructor had arms like a lady in an olde English painting, perfectly white and rounded, no muscles, just O. M. G.!!! So beautiful! In a sleeveless blouse, writing computer programming stuff on the whiteboard with these arms from a couple of centuries ago i was like, i want those arms. I didnt know they actually existed in the current times. |
SlumberKitty
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comrademoomoo, Quietmind 2
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
Posts: 1,243
4 8 hugs
given |
#508
Hey uhhh... is vicarious trauma possible even when you don't hear graphic details of people's trauma?
Tw for nightmares, mention of csa
Possible trigger:
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ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,238
(SuperPoster!)
4 5,771 hugs
given |
#509
Quote:
Pretty sure it's just a cold. Already feeling better this evening. I think today it was more that I was just tired - didn't sleep well last night cuz h was snoring so loud. Sharing with L today about the shamanic session I had this past Friday was super energizing. She's so funny she's all "I couldn't wait to hear about it and I almost called you!" (Way to activate my stupid fantasy wishing she and I could be friends, eh?) I'm glad she made herself wait until my session today. We got out of class early again too which is nice. I'm heading to bed. Night couchies!! |
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given |
#510
Quote:
I just think it's unnecessary to create a whole convoluted situation where you are setting the person up so that they are likely to feel guilty either way. I mean, if you called him and then did it anyway... I'm pretty sure you'd still be beating yourself up about it. Since you didn't call, the unnecessary promise created a disincentive to disclosing what you'd done - and even if you had told him, you'd still have the guilt from breaking the promise. So really, seems like a situation perfectly calculated to make you feel guilty when you self harm. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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SlumberKitty
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chihirochild, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given |
#511
QM, I believe so. I have really vivid nightmares every couple years that I'm a Jew in the Holocaust and usually that people that I care about and love are also Jewish. The dreams don't reflect any specifics that I know of people's stories (I mean memoirs and stuff). I am not Jewish. I have had a morbid/horrified fascination with Holocaust history since I was a little girl, and I think the dreams are just a weird sort of empathy and a way of trying to process how people can purposely and cold-heartedly harm others as if it's nothing.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Somewhere I'm working to leave
Posts: 1,243
4 8 hugs
given |
#512
Quote:
I do help run a survivor group and do online peer support so it's probably stuff from there even though we deliberately never get graphic. |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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susannahsays
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#513
I’ve tried most of these things, but not the glue on the skin. I’ll have to give that a shot.
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SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#514
Starting the day with the gym again in hopes that it’ll help get my head on straight. I’m doing the elliptical instead of running today, though, because my shin splints have been bugging me lately.
I really miss the steam room and sauna but of course those aren’t safe these days. I’ll just come home and have a bath afterwards. |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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atisketatasket
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,149
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#515
I had such a bad nightmare about 2ex last night that I had to wrap myself in blankets when I woke up to get myself to stop shaking. Even though only his voice was in the dream.
I wonder if I could find someone to give vicarious trauma to so they would have those nightmares for me? __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
chihirochild, ElectricManatee, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, SlumberKitty
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Quietmind 2
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#516
Bleh I think I'm going to have to contact T.
Possible trigger:
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ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
6 4,704 hugs
given |
#517
I think that's the problem with making the compulsive/coping behavior the target. It won't really go away until you deal with the feelings that make the behavior seem necessary. White-knuckling it to get yourself to stop can only get you so far before you're likely to "relapse."
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SlumberKitty
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atisketatasket, chihirochild, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,762
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#518
Quote:
I agree with all of this. It's why, for example, my T isn't focusing on my drinking, but the reasons behind it. And trying to help me find alternatives to deal with anxiety (and other things that drinking helps with). |
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SlumberKitty
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chihirochild
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#519
Hope you get well soon Artie bean.
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
SlumberKitty
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ArtieTheSequal
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,762
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#520
Quote:
I would tell him about all the things you tried, because it shows you're trying to find alternatives/ways to control it. You're putting in the effort, which he should appreciate. But, like EM said, it can only go so far if you don't address the feelings that the coping mechanism are helping with. I also wonder if, because your T makes it "forbidden," that in a way, that makes you think about it more? Because you feel you can't do it. I wonder if for a bit you could just take the agreement of contacting him first off the table to see if that helps. |
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SlumberKitty
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chihirochild, ElectricManatee
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Closed Thread |
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