Couch 220: Second To None!

Lemon, I'm glad your session with R went well. It's good you're still seeing the new T though--hope that session goes well!

LT, how’re things with Dr. T?

Or maybe the ex was being a jackass and the contractor wants to get paid and doesn’t know the sitch?

Random other thoughts:

I can’t get those pucks between my teeth, not even the narrowest one.

I don’t think the only difference between a woman and a girl is “sexual activity talk.”

Don’t dentists and hygienists usually tell you to raise your hand if you need a break? Mine does.

Assumes facts not in evidence! Your describing a different situation, not offering a different interpretation of what happened. But my interpretation could still hold, just changes which weenie blinked first.

Maybe you could get one made specifically for you.

Sorry the talk bit was added by me and it's the first two words.

Thank you. It's not a real session just a free 30 min intro thing. I read his email this morning and thought about cancelling. I feel anxious now though I do want to do a voice call only and not a video one.

Got back from vacation--would have stayed longer but it was raining hard enough that hiking didn't sound like any kind of fun, so I just came home.

I'm feeling awfully lonely today.

I didn't know that weenies blinked?



oops - apparently I'm still filter-less, after my extremely un-filtered session with L yesterday. I better turn it back on haha

Just ended the phone call with T F.

I don't think he's a possible replacement. Whilst he did say he has worked with trauma, he doesn't have much experience with BPD specifically .I told him I would be lying if I said it didn't affect the way I interacted. He said he hadn't worked with someone who was on a break with their old therapist and also for my safety he wanted to double check with his supervisor and said he'd get back to me on thursday.

Plus he didn't think ad hoc sessions would be good fit for me at the start either as we wouldn't be able to build up a good relationship.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad C.

Hope your next break goes better.

Yeah, I think we're on the same page about how often that happens to women!

Actually, the contractor is awesome. As the contractor was talking to me I found myself wondering whether he was running it by me to make sure *I* was okay with the decision too. He's here pretty early in the morning, and the ex's car isn't...I think what probably happened was the ex showed up, went into the back yard and asked how it was going, and there was some decision-making to be done, so they did it. In that situation if I were the contractor, I might've put 2+2 together and gingerly checked that out with the other party while trying not to step in the middle of who knows what.

I just got a little blindsided by my own feelings, I think. Once the house is fixed next step is to paint, then next step is to sell and that's one less emotional burden to carry. Bleah.

P.S. Any guesses on whether the ex mentioned this conversation to me? At all? Text, phone call, maybe when he showed up to take kiddo to dentist this morning? Carrier pigeon? Message in a bottle?

AHAHAHAHAHA!


This is quite the visual, Art. *snort*

Going much better, thanks. We had an extra half session Friday to talk some stuff through, then continued the conversation Monday, and it feels like things are essentially resolved for now. I was supposed to see another T for a consultation about my therapy with him this afternoon, but I canceled on her after Monday's session (she was very understanding and said to feel free to contact her anytime).

A big difference I'm noticing is that Dr. T seems to realize the importance in discussing the relationship. Something he said Monday:

"And I know that we've spent a fair amount of time talking about this, but in my mind we're making up for, in some ways, lost ground for having not talked about it for a while. So let's make sure that we get to some sort of satisfying conclusion of these topics before you start to feel compelled like I'm getting impatient with moving on. ...I don't want you to worry about me getting impatient. I'd like you to reach some sort of satisfying conclusion to these conversations."

It helps to know we can talk about it whenever. Yesterday, we didn't talk about any therapeutic relationship stuff, aside from my saying I still felt OK/good about what we'd discussed Monday. Then it was stuff about D and about H--he was pretty helpful.

Oh, and I asked if he could continue my reduced rate through the end of November (was set to end 11/4), and he agreed to it, without my having to really push him. So I appreciate that.

I'm feeling cautiously hopeful that my application for one of the dogs I applied for might work out! Trying not to get too excited, but it's hard. I had not heard from the current owner, and I knew someone else had already asked to visit him. And I could only imagine many people would be interested because of the dog's looks (he is very adorable). The owner replied today and she said she liked my application the most! That feels good because I was starting to wonder if something was wrong with me (logically, I don't think that's it, but never getting a response for applications doesn't feel great). She's looking for someone to adopt her dog because he is extremely timid and she's at the end of her rope. I have a lot of experience with fearful dogs, including dogs who are so fearful they become aggressive. And since I am home 24/7, I think I would be ideal for a dog who has some behavioral issues that need time and patience to address.

I think the last one.

This is too hard a question for me!!

Sorry you didn't feel he was a good fit. It's good he was honest about the BPD experience and is checking with his supervisor. But I do think the part about not doing ad hoc sessions in the beginning makes sense?

I wonder if he'd have any other recommendations for you of someone with more experinece? Like maybe his supervisor would know someone?

In my own experience with having BPD, it's best to find a T who is experienced in it (and DBT). T and L are both. I've had the most success with them compared to my other Ts. Ex-T was not experienced in either. I think that's one of the reasons it didn't work out.

DBT can be helpful for BPD, but it’s not the only modality that’s effective. It’s just heavily researched. This is not an attack on DBT; I’m finding the skills very helpful. But I guess it just seems to me that DBT treats symptoms but not the root cause.